Cindy Jacobs Needs $115,000

I know I’ve posted several times asking my readers to help out those in need, but this is serious. Our dear friend Cindy Jacobs needs $115,000 immediately or she’ll be forced to close down one of her many Godly projects. So won’t you please give?

Also, if I may be totally transparent, it has been a time of intense prayer, with Mike and me awakening in the middle of the night and, both individually and together, seeking God for a solution to relieve the immense financial pressure Generals faces. Some of the critical projects Generals has taken on, such as our Reformation Prayer Network and our prophetic television broadcast, God Knows, have previously been funded to a large extent by some major foundations. For a variety of reasons, these groups are no longer able to invest in these major projects at the same level as in the past.

So, quite frankly, we’ve been limping – using the limited resources we have to faithfully continue what we believe are mission-critical assignments for Generals. But now, we face a dilemma. How can we continue our Reformation Prayer Network and our Freedom21 project, fighting human trafficking, without adequate funding? And how can we continue producing and broadcasting our God Knows program, which ministers to millions each week – many of whom live in the most unreached parts of the world, in languages such as Russian, Arabic and Spanish – without adequate funding?

As Mike and I have knelt beside our bed during this 40th Wedding Anniversary week, we have taken these questions, and others, to the Lord: “Should we just pull back from all these important projects? Do you want us to abandon them?”

Last week, I sent you an email inviting you to become ministry partners with us, but did so without mentioning the great financial challenge we are facing. At the moment, we are looking at a financial need of $115,000. In addition to cutting expenses, we have personally forgone our salaries to do these projects. We believe God is our provider.

That is why I am writing to you now. Would you consider sending a generous donation to Generals International to keep critical initiatives, such as Freedom21, alive? I can think of no better anniversary or birthday gift right now than to know that the work of Generals will continue to free, bless, equip and empower people. We know that God will supply and bless those who financially support all of the life-changing projects we are doing.

Okay, a couple things. First, it isn’t true that you believe God is your provider. You think your credulous followers are your provider. And if you really believed that giving money away led to God blessing you, you’d be sending money to them. But look on the bright side, at least you won’t go hungry — you’ve always got that bottomless bowl of spaghetti to eat.

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  • Sorry, Ed, I’m trying to raise enough money to visit Cindy. I’m just a little torn because I wouldn’t piss on her if she was on fire–so, I wonder if it’s really okay to piss on her grave.

  • Not sure if serious

  • dingojack

    Surely she could just sell some of those endless bowls of spaghetti – it seems too work for those ‘all you can eat’ joints.



    ‘Arrr – come for the food, stay for the freak!’

  • ludicrous

    “….which ministers to millions each week – many of whom live in the most unreached parts of the world….”

    Ummm…”unreached” except by those who live there and your gods.

    btw spell check doesn’t like “unreached” maybe it’s not a word any way, not that there is anything wrong with that.

    Reminds me of that beardly dude sitting on that cloud with his hand out….reaching for your money. Uh oh, ‘beardly’ not a word either, omfg it’s catching.

  • dingojack has ‘unreached’ as an adjective, but not ‘beardly’. Perhaps you mean beardy, beadily, bawdily, bardy or badly?

    🙂 Dingo

  • frankb

    There are more than two things, Ed.

    1, Prayer changes reality. Don’t bother with legislation to protect the vulnerable. Pray to end human trafficking.

    2. God is a bit deaf and likes a bandwagon. So pray out loud and organize a prayer event. God can’t ignore that.

    3. We are too cheap to offer prizes to people who donate. So we will suggest (not legally binding) that God has that covered.

  • raven

    Cindy claims to be a magician, one with superpowers given to her by the gods (New Apostle).

    Evidently her superpowers don’t include creating money.

    How can we continue our Reformation Prayer Network

    Hmmm, how much does it cost to pray? Seems like it should be about zero, free.

    And why doesn’t the Reformation Prayer Network just fix their alleged financial problem, using the Power of Prayer? Could it be that pretending to talk to an imaginary Sky Fairy, doesn’t work?

  • John Pieret

    Cindy, Cindy, Cindy … God has given you the means already. Just open an Italian restaurant! With no cost for food, the prophet profit will be spectacular.

  • sceptinurse

    Or maybe she’s just ignoring the answer she’s already gotten. That answer being no.

    That was hammered into the congregation during my fundie days. God answered prayer in 3 ways: Yes, you got what you were praying for; not now, the timing isn’t right just keep praying; and no, you’re asking for the wrong thing. Of course the no answer was always “softened” by the platitude of “when god closes a door he opens a window”. Maybe she should be looking for her window?

    Spell check doesn’t know the word fundie either.

  • marcus

    I normally wouldn’t give the sweat off of my balls to people like Cindy Jacobs but after that heart-felt plea I am inclined to make an exception.

  • colnago80

    Re marcus @ #12

    I would be more then happy to donate the sleeves off my vest to ole Cindy.

  • imthegenieicandoanything

    My check for the full amount requested is in the mail as of ten minutes ago.

    — Heywood Jablomi

  • adobo

    Sure I’ll give.

    I’ll give a shit.


  • sezme

    @Jasper #2

    If you’ve been reading Ed for more than 30 milliseconds, you will know that this post is tongue-in-cheek. It’s so far in his cheek it’s coming out the other side.

  • coryat

    You lot are so cynical. I’ll be sending her all of my money.

    What’s this spaghetti business? I must have missed that one.

  • dingojack

    coryat –

    Try here.

    No, no need to thank me. 😉


  • steve78b

    I’ll pray for her after this next beer…… no, I mean after this one…….. ok, just one more. ……

    After taking her advice I now have a bottomless beer cooler …..

    Ok ….. I’ll prey 4 her afder dis beeeer…….

    Preyer fisses ever thin ….. doan neeed munny………