Ladies and Gentlemen, the World's Biggest Douchebag

On Wednesday, the guy behind the Sleepless in Austin website was revealed and the previous world record for douchebaggery was shattered, possibly forever. He’s a 39-year old guy who is just looking for love because he’s lonely. And after reading his website, you pretty quickly understand why. Here’s what he’s looking for in a girl:

I am looking for a decent girl that wants to be in a long term monogamus relationship with me.

I want the girl to be attractive.

I like girls that are thin, or with a toned or athletic build. A average build is fine too, just as long as you are not over weight. I will not date a overweight or fat girl.

I like girls that are 130 pounds or less. Of course weight needs to be in proportion to their height, as long as they aren’t considred overweight, they should be fine.

Being overweight is a total dealbreaker with me.

I also like girls with long hair. I like a girl to look like a girl, not a man, I like a feminine, pretty girl. I like hair down to the shoulders at least. Sometimes I can make exceptions if it is shorter depending on how it looks on the girl. But for the most part, I love long hair.

Redheads are my favorite, next is Brunettes, and next is Blondes, in that order. I like all 3, but I’m just saying if I had to choose, that’s my order of preference.

I will not date a Black girl. I don’t care if she looks like Halle Berry, I will not ever date a Black girl.

However, I will date any other race, Hispanic, Mexican, Spanish, Russian, Italian, French, European, White, whatever, anything except Black.

I do not like glasses on a girl. Although, it’s not a dealbreaker, as long as she can wear contacts at least most of the time.

I do not ever want to have kids, so if a girl is wanting to have babies, I am not her man.

I will not date a girl that does not have a job or career.

I am not looking for any type of woman that is materialistic or a gold digger or expects a man to pay for everything.

I do not like tattoos on a woman. If a woman already has tattoos, it may not be a deal breaker unless she plans to get more in the future. If a woman has something small and feminine like a butterfly or rose already on her ankle or something then it may not necessacerily be a dealbreaker. And it would also help if she would consider having them laser removed, something I might would even pay to have done for her.

To me, tattoos just represent white trash or somone that’s been in prison. I do not care for following trends like mindless sheep and getting tats just because what ever Star on TV got them, they will always be a symbol of White Trash. The Female human body is the most beautiful work of Art God ever created, to tattoo it with ink is the same as vandalising a famous Monet painting with a can of spray paint!

I also do not like piercings on a woman. I do not like a woman to have anything pireced other than her Ears. If she has other piercings it’s not a dealbreaker as long as she removes them and never wears them again.

I do not like gamblers. I will not be in any relationship with a woman that gambles or wastes money on such things.

I do not like strippers! I will not date any girl that has ever been a stripper. I believe that the only person that should ever see a womans naked body is only her boyfriend or husband.

I will not date any girl that has ever had a threesome, or a large number of past sexual partners. I do not want a promiscuous slut, I want a normal, decent, good hearted girlfriend.

I will not date any girl that can not always be honest & faithful to me. This is very important.

I prefer a girl that does not smoke, but as long as she does not smoke in my house or around me, if she can go outside and smoke, then I can live with that. I lived with my ex girlfriend for Eleven years, and she was a smoker.

I will not date any girl if she is still friends with any men that she has been intimate with in the past, I believe once a relationship with someone is over, it’s OVER.

I will not date a selfish woman. I do not like selfish women at all.

I do not like sarcastic or cynical people, I do not like people that always think negatively either, so that type of girl would also not be a good match for me.

I know sometimes on my website here, I may seem like a negative person because I point out sooooo many things that I dislike, but I assure you I am a very positive person, I am just tring to put out here my likes/dislikes so you can know more about me and what type of girl may get along with me.

I do not expect a girl to agree with all of my beliefs or opinions etc, but I do not like to argue, and it’s very important that we can live in peace together if at some point the girl & I live together. I like to live in a quiet & peaceful environment. That is extremely important to me.

I like a girl that dresses on the conservative side. Not like a slut, and not anything weird. Just normal is fine. T-Shirt & Jeans are OK. But a girl in a dress really gets my heart racing! I also love it when a girl wears a mini skirt with boots, not cowboy boots, but sexy boots. Or high heels, I love spiked high heels!

I like a girl that takes care of herself and keeps herself clean of course.

I love it when a girl wears sexy lingerie in the bedroom! Especially thigh highs!

I need a girl that can be very warm & affectionate and loving.

It’s also nice if the girl has a big heart and appreciates simples things, and understands the value of sentimental things etc.

I like a girl that appreciates romance and the art of courtship.

Kissing is one of my most favorite things to do with a girl, it’s very important. I also love to hold a girls hand when I am walking with her. And I love sleeping beside a girl and holding her close to me, and spooning with her. In fact THAT is the reason I named this website “Sleepless In Austin” because I haven’t had a single good nights sleep in years, ever since my relationship ended with my ex-girlfriend.

And yes, I also liked the movie Sleepless in Seattle, haha 😀

It dosen’t matter at all to me how big or small a girls breasts are. I prefer them to be real & natural though. I am against breast implants, I see that as unnecessery self mutilation, and I would not want a girlfriend that has breast implants.

I prefer a woman that has never had children, because having kids does ruin a womans body often times. They end up with stretch marks. And also sometimes it makes their vagina looser, and I don’t care how many kegel exercises a woman does, after she has 2 or 3 eight to ten pound babies, you can’t tell me it’s going to be 100% as tight as it ever was! Plus, what’s even worse than all of that, is sometimes during childbirth the lips/vulva of a woman get torn and they never look the same as the did originally even after they heal, that’s why some women even get cosmetic reconstructive surgery to their vulvas after childbirth to try and regain their original appearance.

Now I’m not saying having had a kid or two is a for sure dealbreaker for me, but it’s a case by case basis, and I prefer a woman that’s never had kids if possible. My ex-girlfriend that I was with for Eleven years never had kids, she couldn’t because of a hysterectomy at a young age.

I like to get a lot of attention in a relationship, and I like to give it as well.

I also have a very high sex drive.

Perhaps even funnier is his “about me” page, where he says:

Sometimes I think people see me as a very arrogant & egotistical man, I can’t help it if I am more intelligent than most men, that’s their problem and their own insecurities they must deal with.

Yes, oh King of the Douchebags (the guy actually refers to himself as the “King of 6th Street”), we can see your superior intelligence by your website full of misspelled words, mangled grammar and randomly capitalized words. And because you make statements like this:

And, I do not believe that Whites & Blacks should mix races sexually and have kids together.

I think it’s ok for Whites & Hispanics. But not Blacks.

I would NEVER, EVER, EVER date a woman if I found out she had EVER been sexually active with a Black man.

That would just be pure filth.

Then he did an AMA on Reddit and tried to defend that with every idiotic cliche he could manage:

I am NOT racist. Just because I don’t like the appearnce of black people does not make me racist. Just because I don’t like a particular painting, does not mean I dislike the medium of Art as a whole!

But I will say this, Blacks do make up the majority of the inmates in the prisons in the country.

And I think it’s White people that make up the majority of white collar executive types of positions in America. Probably more Whites are 1 percenters than there are blacks.

When I think of all of the classical composers like Mozart etc that were pure genius, I don’t recall many of them being Black.

This is the 1st black president we’ve had so far and look what a horrible job he has done.

So in the grand scheme of things, it appears the scales are tilted in favor of Whites being the superior race, after all we weren’t the ones that were enslaved workinf cotton fields for 40o years..

Just pointing out that history seems to show whites as always rising to the top and dominating all other countries and cultures and taking what they want and doing as they please, being the dominant, most powerful, most intelligent race….

I’m not saying I personally believe whites are superior to blacks, I am not a scientist, and I have not studied it to any great depth…

Just pointing out some observations.

But, again, for the millionth time, I may be a jerk, but I’m not a racist, there’s a big difference.

My best friends are black and I have no hatred for them….

Because when a woman has been with a black man, in my book that is ALMOST the same thing as beastiality, because black people look like apes, monkeys and gorillas.

Yeah, his best friends are black! And they love it when he tells them that he’s superior to them and that a white woman sleeping them would make her unclean forever because that’s “pure filth” and “almost the same thing as bestiality” because “black people look like apes, monkeys and gorillas.” They love that shit!

One commenter at Jezebel left this amusing comment:

I like a girl that likes Random capitalization. If she does not randomly Capitalize, it is not a deal breaker, but my ex girlfriend of Eleven years liked it.

And another pasted an email he sent her from OK Cupid after she didn’t answer his first email:

I’m just curious as to what specifically is the reason why you do not want to go out with me? What about me specifically is not attractive enough to meet your standards? Or why exactly do you think that you & I would not be a match. I don’t get it. I checked out your profile and you seem like a cool person but I just don’t get why you aren’t giving me the time of day.

Romeo Rose aka King of 6th Street (50% ROCKSTAR & 50% CEO = 100% UNIQUE)

Yes, he actually signed his email that way. You know how annoying it when a dug humps your leg? Now imagine if that dog was a racist and a massive asshole too. Seriously, this has to be some sort of record for sheer idiocy. But wait, here’s the punchline. This is him:


Line forms to the right, ladies.

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  • Nepenthe

    Well, I won’t have to worry about birth control anymore because as I read this post my vagina spontaneously sewed itself shut. I’ll bet that would also be a dealbreaker for him.

  • Actually, I think he’s rather attractive . . . oh wait, that’s a bird.

  • leftwingfox

    It’s like a Saturday Night Live character escaped into the real world…

  • That’s a weapons grade ass-hole righ there.

  • *right

  • matty1

    I will not date a selfish woman. I do not like selfish women at all.

    Cause he’s selfish enough for two?

  • Nemo

    At least we can all applaud this decision: “I do not ever want to have kids”.

  • lldayo

    “Oh, I see you are a redhead with no tattoos, have never been with a black guy, you’re not friends with your exes and have only slept with two guys in your life. I do see you have one kid so we’ll need to set up an appointment so I can measure the looseness of your vag……hello? HELLO?! Hmmm, must be a bad connection.”

  • I think the nice people at RealDoll can set him up with his ideal woman.

  • Line forms to the right, ladies.

    For the peacock?

    In other news, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, doesn’t this wanker know the first thing about dating? Here’s how it works: you meet someone, you talk for a bit, and you see whether anything clicks or not. If so, set another date; if not, find someone else. Adding even one-tenth of the conditions this guy has only shrinks your chances of success. If this moron sticks to his conditions, he’ll most likely find himself stuck with someone who meets every single one of them, but is totally incompatible with him and creates no common chemistry. Then he’ll end up having an affair with someone well outside his original specs, and end up looking even more ridiculous than he does now.

  • Also, does this guy bathe regularly? Just looking at the picture, I can practically smell an unwashed man…or maybe that’s coming from one of the people sitting nearby in this Starbucks…

  • doublereed

    I bet he watches a lot of interracial porn. He’s clearly into that whole “black man dominating white woman” fetish.

  • Abby Normal

    Does he come with own bellhop to help with all that baggage?

  • I think the nice people at RealDoll can set him up with his ideal woman.

    That’s very probable, given that his specs describe the kind of standard woman found in most mainstream porn.

  • /me hands Abby a fresh internet.

  • MarcusC

    He is very detailed in what he does and does not accept. I note that nowhere does he state any concerns with seeing a girl who way previously a guy. I’d take that to mean he is approving of that, it’ll be a big help to widen his dating pool.

  • Yes, Abby, he does — and don’t even ask what kind of woman his bellhop wants!

  • And the whole “I’m not racist, I just think blacks are animals who deserved to be enslaved.” Classy. Where’s my scouring pad? I need to wash.

  • colnago80

    This is the 1st black president we’ve had so far and look what a horrible job he has done.

    W worse job then honkies G.W. Bush, J. E. Carter, J. Buchanan? I think not.

  • Who Knows?

    I don’t get it? Why are there no lines forming?

  • It’s like a Saturday Night Live character escaped into the real world…

    I can almost hear Steve Martin screaming “Jesus Christ, dude, I was KIDDING! It was COMEDY, not a training class!”

  • karmacat

    He is practically wearing a puffy shirt.

  • What’s wrong with puffy shirts? Other than that this wanker is sometimes found inside them?

  • exdrone

    The holodeck cannot come soon enough for this guy. Although, it might take a prohibitive amount of computing power to resolve all his requirements and constraints.

  • I note that nowhere does he state any concerns with seeing a girl who [was] previously a guy.

    I’d be surprised if his mind was even capable of imagining such a thing. If he saw such a girl, his mind would probably recoil with the same horror exhibited by HP Lovecraft’s delicate sophisticates when confronted with the unutterable horrors that bubble under their delicate sophisticated world.

  • Larry

    I can’t imagine why he’s still available. There can’t be that few non-black, non-tattooed, 20-20 visioned, clean with really sexy underwear owing unselfish women with absolutely no self-respect living in Austin.

  • Raging Bee – do sell tickets, won’t you?

  • Sastra

    Yes, but after all he’s only 39. When he’s in his 80’s I bet he looks back and cringes.

    Seriously, this sounds like something a 12-year-old might write. Though no self-respecting 12-year-old would be caught dead in that neon cerise ruffled puffy shirt he’s wearing: does the King hang out at Ren Faires?

  • w00dview

    Wow, I have never cringed so much whilst reading before. Normally any sentence beginning with “I’m not racist” is going to be a lot of horrendous hypocritical bigotry but he really outdid it in that regards. Jesus tap dancing Christ.

  • karmacat

    It is not the puffy shirt per se. It is the juxtaposition of everything this guy says and then wearing that shirt. It would be understandable if he said he liked renaissance festivals or is part of the society for creative anachronism or just liked to have fun with clothes. I can’t put it in words. The poor shirt is suffering because it has to be worn by this douchebag

  • karmakat, I’ll admit this guy could kill any fashion trend.

  • You know how annoying it [is] when a dug humps your leg?

    Exactly. I’m very particular when it comes to “beastiality.”

  • Once again, the onion predicts the future. This article came out about a week ago.,33916/

  • Canadian Yankee

    He calls himself “Romeo Rose aka King of 6th Street “?!?

    The really pathetic thing is that 6th Street in Austin is the strip with all of the college bars where the UT Austin students go drinking. He’s apparently that guy – you know, the almost-40-year-old who still “parties with the college kids” and thinks that he actually fits in with the 23-year-olds who are vaguely creeped out by him but are still willing to let him hang around so long has he buys more than his fair share of the drink rounds. As if you didn’t think he was pathetic enough already.

  • Excuse me, I need to go burn my lace shirt in shame.

  • Nancy New, Queen of your Regulatory Nightmare

    That man has enough for a whole other mouth.

  • Yeah, the Onion was really predictive here, except for the intellect bit.

  • eric

    I do not ever want to have kids,


  • Nancy New, Queen of your Regulatory Nightmare


  • Baktru

    Wow. And I thought I was a bad match.

    For goodness sake. I did try to find some redeeming features but then the shirt came up and. Yeah, no. Also, yup sounds like THAT guy. The elderly (and come on when you are 23, almost 40 IS elderly) drunk dude that is only cool because, hey he’s buying and he does apparently like *cool song of the month*. Or pretends so.

  • brianl

    I am generally leery of joining in on internet dogpiles that collect around some poor schmuck who has written something painfully unaware and stupid, especially if it ended up in wide circulation due to a third party. Unfortunately I can’t see a single mitigating factor in this one, and I’m forced to join the mob in agreeing he is indeed the World’s Biggest Douchebag. Goodness sake, at least get a decent haircut if you’re going to try to pull off that shirt, which if it were in a color that didn’t make him look like he’d been drinking since the first Bush administration he could actually probably do.

  • Moggie

    There’s a fourth BeeGee?

  • @41 brianl, I don’t know if you’ve explored the mirror site

    But he goes on at length about his haircut. You can find out what kind of cut and color he gets and even who does his hair. The guy is really endlessly fascinating.

  • I can’t imagine why he’s still available. There can’t be that few non-black, non-tattooed, 20-20 visioned, clean with really sexy underwear owing unselfish women with absolutely no self-respect living in Austin.

    Yeah, don’t those chicks know there’s a man shortage? They can’t afford to be so picky when their biological clocks are ticking!

  • Nepenthe

    I note that nowhere does he state any concerns with seeing a girl who [was] previously a guy.

    I’d be surprised if his mind was even capable of imagining such a thing. If he saw such a girl, his mind would probably recoil with the same horror exhibited by HP Lovecraft’s delicate sophisticates when confronted with the unutterable horrors that bubble under their delicate sophisticated world.

    Please you both. The post was nauseating enough without some disgusting transmisogyny to boot.

    The shirt. Stick to the shirt.

    Or… *looks at picture again* Dear gods is that a custom “RR pendant”?

  • Ellie

    Are those his real teeth? If they are, it wouldn’t be a deal breaker as long as he had them all removed and replaced with nicer ones.

  • But enough about what you have to offer in a relationship; let’s hear a little about your needs.

  • Loqi

    That’s like 300 proof douchebag. It violates physics!

  • matty1

    The good news is he has found his ideal partner, it’s the peacock. Why else would they be photographed together?

  • Is he the guy from this Onion article who thinks women are intimidated by his high intelligence?,33916/

  • eric


    he goes on at length about his haircut. You can find out what kind of cut and color he gets…

    Wait, that picture is of colored hair? I’m not against men coloring their hair, but in this case, I’m not sure what effect he was going for. Extra scraggly?

  • Donnie

    He says that he is an Artist (among other Renaissance man things). I mean, is this an elaborate kafkaesque situation? It is terrifying that these are the true ramblings of a human being. There are so many contradictions further contradicted by his love for Alex Jones.

    -False flag operation for promoting Alex Jones.

    -Imagine the ad revenue as this goes viral. True definition of Drama for Blog Clicks

    -Is a potential marketing research aspect? What content/issues draw a mass of people to a website.

    -How to make something viral?

    I am just trying to think that there must be some other reason. Maybe I am naive, but I find it hard to believe that someone is this….clueless….so self-unaware….so self-centered. Maybe I have been married too long. I am out of options and, “Why”… the answer, “Because….”.

  • Donnie

    as previously stated, “Life imitating The Onion”????

  • Michael Hoaglin

    No Black girls, please! All other races are okay, but not Black Females. All other races… you know, Hispanic and White. Also Hispanics. And White people from Europe, even White girls from Russia. And even the Spanish, which are kind of like both White and Hispanic. Yep, both of the other races God Made are Good for me. All Two of them.

    Mixed race kids of White/Hispanics, okay. But never with the Third race.

  • DaveL

    I do not like sarcastic or cynical people

    That’s a shame, because we find you endlessly amusing.

  • Pen

    Well, I was sort of flattered that he understands French people are a separate race unto themselves, completely separate from mere Europeans… Not many people get that these days. Too bad the younger ones are quite into piercing, tattoos, and anything else that makes them look like ordinary white trash from just anywhere. Apparently.

    / sarcasm by a cynic

  • otrame

    It’s the moral equivalent of watching a train wreck–facinating and horrible–and you should just walk away because there is nothing you can do to help, but….

    you just have to ask.

    Mr. RR, I notice you list very carefully what you expect from any woman who might want to date you. Tell me, what have you to offer a slender childless women of non-Black race who has a job, doesn’t mind paying for things, has no tattoos and no opinions, who has seldom slept with a man and certainly not with a black man and who would not be driven absolutely mad by a person who randomly capitalizes words? Hmm?

    Errk. Just thinking about this guy with any woman makes my skin crawl.

    Okay, got my shower bag all set up, including my Oh, So Tough™ wire brush (the One for Ladies™–it’s pink), my jar of Scraper™ the extra heavy duty skin scrub (“Guaranteed to remove that slimy feel”) and the Gentle But Thorough™ Brain Bleach +. Off to try to get clean.

  • slavdude

    Oh, this one’s a keeper.

    He needs a blow-up doll or a replicant like Daryl Hannah’s character in Blade Runner.

  • #34: Yeah, as a longtime Austinite, I can confirm that any woman with anywhere near enough the perfection levels this dude is demanding would consider someone who styled himself “the King of 6th Street” to be the Platonic ideal of human loserdom in every possible form.

    6th St. is not, to put it charitably, where the upscale, sophisticated bars and clubs are to be found.

  • Looks a bit like Dave Grohl or Richard Branson. (Sorry, Dave, Richard.)

  • Oh, look. It gets better.

  • When I see a guy like Richie KKKlowningham (yes, I’m certain that he’s a teabaggin’ whackjob) I have a pang of regret.

    The regret is based on the fact that “douchebag” is in more common parlance and fairly rolls off of one’s tongue, in comparison to “enema bag”. But if there was ever a suitable use for the latter as a descriptor, ladies and gentlemen I give you “exhibit A”, the King of 6th Street.

  • @61:

    And if you go to the piece immediately below that one, “The 10 stupidest things said about women.”, you will find one more reason to dislike asswipe Scott Adams.

  • DrewN

    I’m sure his perfect woman is out there somewhere. And I’m sure she’s very conservatively dressed in a miniskirt & knee-high stiletto boots over super-sexy lingerie. After all, a slutty outfit would be a dealbreaker.

    Happy story to avoid punching your screen due to the sheer douchbaggery involved:

    This picture above was taken just seconds before Romeo Rose aka King of 6th Street* was viciously mauled by that peacock making a territorial display in the background. Completely destroying the puffy shirt he nagged his mom into sewing for him. When he was taken to the hospital, the Dr. asked him to disrobe so she could treat his peacock wounds. He assumed that (like all women) she was coming on to him, so of course he insisted on first knowing her detailed sexual/reproductive history and thoroughly examining her breasts & genitals before he would let her gaze upon his perfect form. He was understandably confused. After all, the Dr was of chinese extraction with black hair, and those are a hair colour & race that don’t even exist.

    Does anyone want to start a kickstarter campaign to chip in & buy him a RealDoll so that he doesn’t need to bother actual flesh & blood women? “Dolls for Douchbags” would be a charity I can really get behind.

    *I can’t believe he really signs his messages like that

  • Last time I saw a mouth like his it had a fishhook in it.

  • jaybee

    I do not believe sentences should co-mingle.

    Each sentence deserves to have its own paragraph.

    I’m 39 and an acceptable range for partners is 21-41 (but really, it is 17-27; I just said 21-41 to sound like I’m open minded and not too creepy).

    “I am a very unique man. There is NOTHING typical, average, normal, or ordinary about me whatsoever!” Yes, and the next revision of the DSM ( is working on a new entry for you.

  • dingojack

    At the age of 39 – he can’t even claim to a teenaged dritbag douchebag, baby.


  • He’s got teeth like one of those testicle eating fish.

  • @68:

    And if he ever winds up in the pokey, he might actually be one.

  • Ed:

    You know what the problem is with suprerlatives? There’s always something superlativer coming down the pike before the ink is dry (or the electrons have stopped squiggling) on the page.

    Case in point:

    Guido Barilla, your village is looking for its idiot.

    And, even in the first few comments, there are three or four people who are vying to knock Barilla out of the box.

    Once again, KKKristianists and anti-gay fuckwads are screaming “discrimination” and lamenting others’ CRITICIZING and electing not to support some homophobic asshole.

    I’ll be buying some Barilla pasta around the time that he’s had a brace of ads featuring gay couples running in prime time for about a year or so. There is just never a “Worst douchebag in the world” who can hold the title for more than a few days.

  • congenital cynic

    Not difficult to understand why he can’t find a girlfriend. I think “you’re doing it wrong” applies here. My bet is that he’s going to stay single. One very strange dude. I never cease to be amazed by the strangeness of humans.

  • congenital cynic

    He just posted an update on his web site.

  • Michael Heath

    congenital cynic writes:

    He just posted an update on his web site.

    Which re-confirms he’s an asshole.

  • generalfactotum

    Too bad Jacqueline Mackie Paisley Packey is taken. She’s just the kind of high quality woman he’s been searching for. Damn, I really could have used that $1500.

  • Pieter B, FCD

    As a 40+-year veteran of the RenFaire that started it all, I can assure you that that shirt would be completely unacceptable on anyone save a Faire Virgin, i.e., a person attending for the very first time. It is, as we say, not “period” in style, color or fabric. I’m not a SCAdian, but I doubt it would pass muster with them, either.

    If this fuckwit were to show up at Faire, as a veteran ale server, I’d likely cut him off before his first drink, because his attitude sucks and alcohol is unlikely to improve it. Yes, I can do that. I love the Faire.

  • StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    Nah. There are bigger douchebags aplenty sad but true.

  • StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    @ 70. democommie

    Ed: You know what the problem is with superlatives? There’s always something superlativer coming down the pike* before the ink is dry (or the electrons have stopped squiggling) on the page…. There is just never a “Worst douchebag in the world” who can hold the title for more than a few days.


    Spot on. Unfortunately.

    * Or up the puke?

  • bushrat

    Anyone that spews out that much verbal diarrhea on a public forum and thinks they are smarter than other people was sadly failed by their teachers. I blame the education system. And of coarse Obama, I’m sure he must have had a personal hand in this somehow…I can’t think how right now, but Republicans tell me everything is his fault.

  • Douche bags are good for something, he is a week old cum stain on a molded sheet, I hope he gets just what he wishes for and then she fucks him over BAD!

  • Christoph Burschka

    Oh look, it’s an arrogant narcissistic peacock. And some kind of colorful bird.

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  • Not only does he win the “World’s Biggest Douchebag” award, he also wins the “Worst Shirt in the Universe” award along with it. I possess almost all the attributes and qualities he doesn’t like in a woman…good thing I married a black man! Who by the way is not filthy, and the only thing about him that might slightly be gorilla-ish are his big embracing lovable hugs. That idiot is the only one that resembles a monkey.

  • The first thing I thought after seeing that picture was that the Mouth of Sauron had a trip to the dentist..

    …or that at the guy is the very first species of Homo sapien meets testicle-eating-fish..

    Then I started to read what he wrote…now my eyes are bleeding and my gag reflex is going crazy..

    I’m pretty convinced that if you look up idiot and douchebag his name will be the first thing you’ll see..

    But I love the Huff Post Live in this:

  • @80 Christoph Burschka

    Oh look, it’s an arrogant narcissistic peacock. And some kind of colorful bird.

    That’s not really fair. Peacocks are the result of millions of years of females choosing what they want in a mate. This man seems to be the opposite of that.

  • Bianca V

    Notice how he posted a section on his blog now with pictures of his ex girlfriend… As far as I can tell, he’s had one, and I can’t imagine why she would have ever left him??

  • J B

    I would say this was a joke, except I know someone like this: my ex-husband for one. Sounds like he and this douche collaborated on the list of acceptable qualities. At least my ex doesn’t wear Ren Faire shirts.

  • Dear Sir,

    You would best be served by ordering one of those synthetic girlfriends made from silicone with all the right holes.


    All women on planet Earth.

  • klsf

    shakespear called he’s offended and wants his shirt back. I wonder if he works at a renasance fair? Im surprised he doesnt refer to women as wenches considering his take on african americans. Being a jerk is calling someone easy, being racist is exactly what he said. What a disgusting man

    I love how he also controdicts himself numerous times but especially when he states that he likes conservative women – jeans and tshirts are okay but that he loves a woman in a mini skirt and sexy boots or high heels.

    Im completely shocked hes ever had a girlfriend and for 11 years, im sure she was deaf and blind. You would have to be to date someone with his character. He is a disgrace to mankind in general

  • So, given all his dislikes….that narrows the playing field down to about five people in the global populace.

    Also, that picture is ridiculously perfect. This guy sounds super showoff-y, just like a peacock.

  • I’m sorry but peacocks are deal breakers.

  • Such a tool! I wonder why he is single. Not only is he complete douche he is not even good looking. Black people look like monkeys. Has he looked in a mirror lately. And correct me if I am wrong buy I didn’t know that Europeans were considered a different race. Hmmmm! I hope he has a reading for his blog so people can throw bird seeds at him!

  • Ingdigo Jump

    This guy is LITERALLY the Bob’s Burgers Prince of Persusia


  • I agree, he’s a douche bag but. Not for nothing, Spike Lee also opposes interracial mating. He said he always gives such couples “a disapproving look”. I can’t help but note he doesn’t exactly have the whole of America calling him a racist and demanding an apology.

  • Of all the competitors, that was the sperm that won the race? What a shame! This guy could be the attached photo example on a serial killer profile…and, I’m sorry to tell you, they tend to get a lot of offers for conjugal visits. Richard “the Night Stalker” Ramirez married one of his pen pal fans. My point? Plenty of f’ed up women who would be interested in this idiot. There’s bound to be one, somewhere, who fits his criteria.

  • But wait, it get’s better, Per his site; “I am willing to pay anyone $1,500 as a finders fee for anyone that can help find me a girlfriend. (I will give you a extra $1,000 as a bonus if this turns into marriage”

  • jonmc6

    Puffy, pirate shirt. That tells you all you need to know…

  • This. Is. Funny. Sometimes its hard to tell if people this far out there are for real, or just messing around to cause a stirl. This guy…pretty sure he means business.

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  • What the actual fuck? Why is there a peacock? I think he might have special needs. And I’m not trying to be funny. There’s most definitely something wrong with this cat.

  • I would not want to be his cat.

  • I have something in common with him. I don’t want him to have kids either!

  • If your teeth takes up about 25% of your face and you wear red frilly girl shirts, that’s a deal breaker for me. Ooo… Awkward…

  • ceesays

    he should spend that $2500 on a dermatologist and hiring somebody else’s dress sense. he may be utterly repugnant but I wouldn’t wish that shirt on anyone.

  • I wonder who the lucky person was who knocked all his upper teeth out……Those are clearly fake teeth.This guy is just looking for attention and getting it……Can’t wait to see the horse mouthed concoction his dentist comes up with after somebody knocks out the lower ones.