Jacobs Does Least She Can Do

Our old friend Cindy Jacobs says she wants to do something about child sex and labor trafficking. That’s great, of course, because that’s a very serious problem. So is she going to raise money for organizations that are working to fight it? Nope. She’s gonna pray for three weeks.

I later learned that Gloria (not her real name) had a reason for the sorrow I sensed and that only God could have given her a real reason to smile. You see, this 10-year-old child was a “rescued one” – she had been redeemed out of the sex trade in Mexico.

Little Gloria’s stepfather had murdered her mother before her eyes when she was only eight years old. He then raped this precious child, trafficked her to a coastal tourist destination, and then repeatedly sold her body to the highest bidder. She was a human commodity for evil men who were giving into the lowest level of depravity.

Right then I decided that I would do whatever I could to stop this wickedness. Shortly after I learned of little Gloria’s story, I was talking on the phone with one of my good friends, Cheryl Sacks. She and her husband Hal deal with border issues on a regular basis in Arizona. As we were talking, the solution came to me – we could mobilize twenty-one days of powerful spiritual warfare! We know this type of high-level strategy works, because when we partnered with Mexico and organized a prayer initiative to fight against the drug cartels, it bore great fruit…

Right now through September 30th we are leading and hosting a bold and massive prayer initiative. Freedom21 is 21 days of prayer and fasting for those in the United States and Mexico who have been victimized by the epidemic of sex and forced labor trafficking…

The statistics are staggering, however we know that nothing is too difficult for God! Our bilingual initiative will unite leaders and intercessors from both Mexico and the United States to join in prayer for the victims of human trafficking and to bring down trafficking rings and their leaders.

Yeah, just like it stopped drug trafficking. Oh, it didn’t? What a surprise. Gotta hand it to Cindy Jacobs — she’s always willing to do literally the least she could do. Maybe she could send them her bottomless bowl of spaghetti. Next up: People will throw salt over their shoulder and stop stepping on cracks to end homelessness.

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  • Abby Normal

    Gee, I’d love to help. But, I’m busy curing cancer by pressing Like on Facebook.

  • Hey, come on now! Be fair! Someone has to bring tragedy to God’s attention while he’s off busying himself with painting self-portraits in wall stains!

  • kitty

    ..the epidemic of sex and forced labor trafficking…

    I hadn’t heard of it, but I want in on that epidemic of sex!

  • bryanfeir

    <MajorBloodnok>Ohhh, ohh, ohh… it was the least I could do. A quantity I specialize in.</MajorBloodnok>

  • Hercules Grytpype-Thynne

    the solution came to me – we could mobilize twenty-one days of powerful spiritual warfare!

    As opposed to the usual, powerless spiritual warfare that’s been mobilized in the past.

    And really, what’s all this about praying to God to do something that any self-respecting omnipotent, omniscient and omnibenevolent being should have taken care in the first place without needing to be reminded?

  • Artor

    Silly Ed, not-stepping on cracks only serves to prevent maternal spinal injuries, not homelessness.

  • So, the only reason the omnipotent, omniscient deity hasn’t saved these kids from slaw trafficking is evacuee not enough people have asked him too?

  • dingojack

    Jacobs Does Least She Can Do

    What, she’s volunteering for euthanasia?

    [reads leader] Nope. Vain hope.


  • Mr Ed

    What happens if the traffickers pray for 22 days? Either God listens to whom ever prays the most and the Traffickers win or God is aware of this but hasn’t done anything about it.

  • Is Jacobs aware of her own bible and how it allows for the selling of people, particularly girls?

  • caseloweraz

    Huh? I thought she was going to be busy laying siege to the Satanic Cities… or something like that.

  • busterggi

    Either god doesn’t exist or he never checks his messages because at least one of those kids must have prayed for rescue.

  • Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden

    I personally am most amused by the fact that she’s only praying for victims in the US and Mexico. Because it would be too much work to help trafficking victims everywhere…either for Jacobs, who would have to pray for much longer, using complicated clauses to indicate her universalizing intent which, if spoken incorrectly, jeopardize her immortal soul shorten her prayer by getting rid of the words, “in the United States and Mexico,” or for God, who would have to focus 19% more of hir infinite will on the problem.

    We’ll never know whether it was too much for Jacobs, too much for God, or both. The distress of not knowing is just killing me.

  • Ex Patriot

    She and whoever follows her are going to spend 21 days talking to the brain dead, them selves