Imam: Only Gay Men Play Musical Instruments

I don’t know who this imam is, but he’s an obnoxious bigot. He’s preaching about what music is acceptable at weddings and he says only women singing or playing a drum called a daff. No men because, obviously, only gay men play musical instruments.

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  • As I recall, strict Islam prohibits the playing of musical instruments. This is the same kind of desperate nonsense as asserting that letting women drive will damage their fertility.

  • It seems that half of the point of religion is to live (and encourage/force others to live) under a cloth woven from idiotic rules.

    I still haven’t figured out what the other half is.

  • erichoug

    Ugh, why do people listen to idiots like this. They are so opposed to any sort of happiness that I find it difficult to believe that people listen to them. Music is fundamental to all human cultures and this person is trying to stamp out music is like trying to stamp out sex or wine or good food. oh, wait….

  • Who made this child Imam?

  • Nah! The old bigot is just a bit behind the times, and it’s only true if you’re successful:

    “…on the 29th of January 1728 at the Lincoln’s-Inn-Fields Theatre in London began the most successful theatrical run of the whole Eighteenth Century: everyone loved the Beggar’s Opera (apart of course from prime minister Walpole who for some reason felt slighted by certain references in it and indeed had its sequel ‘Polly’ banned in revenge) and so, in spite of Walpole, it ran and ran for 61 performances. Now the B.O. was written by John Gay and was eventually (and somewhat reluctantly) produced by John Rich and so after its surprising runaway success it was jokingly said (or at least reported as a ludicrous saying) by none less than the great Dr Johnson that “It made Gay rich and Rich gay” a phrase which must have sounded a lot less racy then than now. …”


  • sinned34

    I guess those thousands of women Gene Simmons claims to have slept with over the years were just one long line of beards to cover his homosexuality.

    I used to play drums, but haven’t picked up the sticks in about 15 years now. Does that make me “ex-gay”?

  • Doug Little

    Seems like someone tried to form a garage band to pick up the ladies but was unsuccessful at either.

  • Doug Little

    Shit my last comment should have read … was unsuccessful at both.

  • pianoman, Heathen & Torontophile

    @7 sinned34

    I’m sure they think drumsticks are just phallic symbols for the penis. besides, it was your “choice” to play drums in the first place ☺

    gosh, i wonder if my username is giving me away!

  • Johnny Vector

    Once again we see music causing big-ig-ig-ig trouble-ouble-ouble…

  • UnknownEric the Apostate

    Imam don’t like it? Rock the Casbah, rock the Casbah…


    /looks at bass

    Welp, I’ve been found out.

  • Loqi

    So now gay men are automatically musically gifted in addition to having fashion sense, well-appointed abodes, and gym-carved bodies? Are we *sure* god hates them? Sure sounds like the homophobes think he gives them a lot of perks.

  • petemoulton

    Well, I’m OK with this. After all, professional pissant Ted Nugent (sort of) plays a musical instrument. That makes him gay, right?

  • Wylann

    One word: Groupies.

    Seriously, I’d say these guys need to get out more, but what they really need to do is get out of the closet!

  • sinned34

    Pianoman @ 10:

    Good point. I guess it’s similar to that Christian who was saying that masturbating made you gay. Because when you’re masturbating, you’re holding a penis, and only a gay man would like to hold a penis. Unfortunately, that means whenever I go pee, it’s making me gay. Whenever I shower and wash down there, I’m becoming more flamboyant. Playing drums is like holding two penises. Playing hockey is like rubbing a long dildo on the ice with a bunch of other men watching.

    Oh my god. I must be SO gay. Somebody phone my wife and tell her, while I head off to buy some pink skinny jeans and a neckerchief.

  • Modusoperandi@2:

    The other half is to make money selling the cloth woven out of idiotic rules.

  • busterggi

    Kinda gives ‘shaking your tambourine’ a whole new visual.

  • robertfaber

    Yeah. I used to think like this. When I was 6, I had to take piano lessons. By the time I was 8, I wanted to quit and play baseball instead because piano was gay. Then when I was 14, I was in the music room at the high school just messing around the piano and noticed 8 girls around me looking, listening, and smiling. From that moment on, I used my musical talent to get pussy, and lots of it. I’m about it to use it today to get some more, because I have a paid gig. I shook myself out of my ignorance pretty easily. Good luck with this guy.

  • eric

    Mr. Imam, your voice is a musical instrument. In order to demonstrate your heterosexuality to the world, you can kindly stop using it.

  • timberwoof

    Loqi, there are drawbacks. If you are gay, you are required to install track lighting, and you are prohibited from wearing sports jerseys.

  • Doug Little

    and you are prohibited from wearing sports jerseys

    Wait what? I’ll have to inform some of my gay friends that they are breaking the rules.

  • I guess the iman should go tell Richard Thompson to stop making music. Of course the fact Thompson is a Sufi probably makes him evil without being a musician to a joker like this.

  • shouldbeworking

    I wonder what the idiot Imam would say to the pipes and drums of a Highland infantry regiment? They even wear skirts!

  • escuerd

    Oh boy, this guy. His name is Abu Mussab Wajdi Akkari, and this is really just the tip of the crazy iceberg. He is a non-stop source of hilarious shit (though its hilarity is mitigated by the sad realization that lots of ignorant Salafiyyun really believe this kind of stuff). He has a lot of videos on YouTube where you can listen to his mindless wordspew. Much of the rest of this anti-music rant sounds vaguely homoerotic, though it also perplexingly includes the claim that “male losers” use the guitar to attract “female losers” (I know, it’s unfair to expect crazy to be consistent.):

    If anyone cares, I don’t think anyone actually considers him an Imam, or gives him any special title. I guess you could more accurately refer to him as a da3i or apologist (or even “preacher” would seem appropriate). Ultimately, the label is kind of academic, when the point is that he’s a douchebag who dedicates his life to spreading his insane and harmful beliefs.

  • escuerd

    Also I learned that someone could be “afflicted with a tornado”.

  • naturalcynic

    So what is a muzzin’s call to prayer? Sounds like singing, which is…

    Oh, well, Prof. Harold Hill will have to send the kids back to River City’s pool hall

  • matty1

    I was afflicted with tornadoes once, you can get this cream from any good pharmacist.

    On another note has no one noticed the flaw in his plan, the woman musicians would have to be in or near the same room as male guests. Surely he wouldn’t want that? In fact I recall reading that for some Islamic marriage ceremonies not even the bride is present, her father takes formal vows with the groom on her behalf.

  • garry

    I have little bit confusion about him that whether he is real or not but the thing is that his concept is totally wrong to me that only gay man play musical instrument and I just want to say that he needs more concept about this issue at all. lol!

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