Chris Stedman was on Bill O’Reilly’s show a couple days ago talking about the entirely fictitious “war on Christmas.” It’s a good thing he’s the one on that show and not me. There’s no way I could be on O’Reilly’s show without provoking him. I’d insert “falafel” and “loofah” into the conversation as many times as I could. And I’d tell him that this segment is so great that I’m sure he’s going to win another Pulitzer prize for it. And you know O’Reilly and his fragile ego and temper. He’d go from 0 to red-faced, spittle-flecked rage in about .8 seconds. And then I’d wish him happy holidays.