No, God Did Not Let People Die So You Could Get Married

One of the victims of the Boston Marathon bombing is marrying the nurse who took care of him during his rehabilitation from horrific injuries, which makes a great little human interest story. But he seems to think it happened so that he could meet his bride, which is just twisted.

But after about two weeks at Massachusetts General Hospital, where he underwent multiple surgeries and was among patients who met President Barack Obama, Costello was transferred to Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital.

“A few days later I saw a nurse in passing, this would turn out to be Krista, who had shared a few mutual friends, but we had never crossed paths before,” Costello, known to his friends as “Bim,” wrote about nurse Krista D’Agostino.

“After sharing a handful of conversations I realized not only how beautiful she was but also what a kind heart she had. I somehow convinced her to attend a benefit with me, which turned into a few dates, which turned into a few inseparable months,” wrote Costello.

Costello and D’Agostino are spending part of December in Europe with other victims and first responders on an all-expenses-paid “Heroes Cruise.”

In the French city of Lyon, Costello popped the question.

“I’m happy to announce that we will spend the rest of our lives together. I now realized why I was involved in the tragedy. It was to meet my best friend, and the love of my life.”

Really? You think God had that all planned out just so you could get married? That means he allowed dozens of people to die or be brutally injured for the purpose of you being happy. That doesn’t strike you as a pretty fucked up idea?

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  • Alverant

    Fucked up and selfish as well.

  • That seems a bit of over-interpretation, Ed. Where did you get the ‘God” bit from?

  • Larry

    That’s like people who survive some disaster, like a plane crash, only to thank god for miracle that they survived, ignoring the fact that dozens or hundreds of others died horrible deaths.

  • Also he doesn’t seem to be saying that’s why it happened, only that’s why he was involved in it.

    Bit daft but I don’t see the need for blanket condemnation.

  • raven

    Oh gee.

    I don’t think Narcissists make good partners.

    Besides he has it all wrong. God is in charge and everything happens for a reason.

    God killed and wounded dozens of people some of them children so we could all roll our eyes at xians who claim it was all about them.

  • John Pieret

    I’m with Richard. I even went to the article to see if there was something there about god. He may be talking about god or he could be talking about impersonal fate or he might just be saying in a romantic way that something good came out of this tragety.

  • a miasma of incandescent plasma

    …Krista, who had shared a few mutual friends, but we had never crossed paths before…

    I don’t know… If I was an all-powerful being I couldn’t really think of any other way to get them together. Seems likely.

  • Richardelguru, I have to agree with you. It seems he was referring to why he was there, not why the bombing happened. That said, the idea of a universe with human intentions is egocentric as hell.

  • Christianity is a death cult that worships a lich who commands its followers to engage in ritual cannibalism. Compared to that, the idea that this same god would commit a horrific act of terror and murder, just so that one person could have a happily ever after, really isn’t all that strange.

  • Guys, much as I dislike the Goddunnit attitude, we are being knee-jerky here.

    I did a bit of web-wandering, and as far as I can see that is no justification for the inflammatory hed.


    The poor guy may be guilty of thinking that he was involved in a tragedy for a reason, but maybe he’s just trying to make sense of some pretty dramatic upheavals in his life. He doesn’t seem to be thanking God (nor even Allah, belief in whom was probably a big part of the reason for the bombing).

  • “‘I’m actually glad I got blown up,’ he told Savannah Guthrie. ‘I wish everyone else didn’t have to. But I never would have met her. I’m pretty happy.'”


    GODbot?–can’t tell from the several stories I scanned. Knucklehead? Yeah, sorta. Three of his friends, including a pair of brothers, lost legs in the same explosion.

    If an uncaring universe somehow started caring about him, personally, it could have arranged for HIM and HIM alone, to get blowed up and wind up with the love of his life.

    All of the times that I found “The one and only, non-pareil * love(s) of my life” I’m pretty sure it owed less to the intervention through Divine Providence of a holy spirit and more the intervention of a mixologist pouring strong spirits from the speed rail.

    * the spellchex seems to think that instead of “pareil” I want the word “paresis”–well, that would make me an incurable romantic of sorts.

  • He never actually mentions God. I think he’s just being poetic and saying that if he hadn’t been injured, they wouldn’t have ever met.

  • Artor

    Sorry Ed, I’m with Richard on this one too. While I think the idea of fate is silly, the guy is getting married. He’s almost legally required to say something maudlin & sentimental, so let’s cut him some slack. Also, I don’t see any mention of God in his statement, and while that might be a reasonable conclusion, I think you’re stretching to reach it, and over a irrelevant point. You might owe Costello an apology.

  • Synfandel

    Yeah, that’s what struck me too. I don’t see God mentioned anywhere in the cited article. Also, Mr. Costello’s fatalistic view is about his involvement in the tragedy, not about the cause of the tragedy. We’re reaching a bit too far on this one.

  • I think Ed has just drawn the logical conclusion of this man’s statements, which this man only didn’t draw himself because no single person who has ever seen a tragic event as “fate” because it brought some happiness for him/her ever has.

    That logical conclusion being– if this man’s fate was to get “blown up” and go to the hospital and meet his love, then everybody else’s situation must have been their fate as well, whether they’re miserable and mutilated or just plain dead.

    He may or may not believe that God is behind his fatalism, but regardless, fatalism is thoughtless– literally– and stupid, and terribly callous to anyone who hears you saying such things who isn’t as fortunate– literally– as you are.

  • Gretchen what you write is exactly what I think Synfandel means by “We’re reaching a bit too far on this one.”

  • Sastra

    I now realized why I was involved in the tragedy. It was to meet my best friend, and the love of my life.”

    Absent a specific reference to God, this sounds ‘spiritual-but-not-religious,’ with the standard assumption that the universe is just like a book, a narrative where all the characters (or at least the main characters) undergo trials and tests for a reason: the best outcome possible.

    And Gretchen hits it perfectly. If asked about the serious victims who end up miserable and mutilated and dead, it’ll turn out they matter too and are also built into the story, each and every one. Somehow what happened to them had to happen for their own ‘best’ result. They may not see it yet. They may not know it in this life. But at some point they’ll realize it made them stronger or more compassionate or more appreciative or at least it humbled them.

    Has to. Otherwise it’s hard to find a “meaning” to life. Spirituality = dogmatically seeing the positive in the Big Picture by inventing a cosmos of woo. There are no accidents, nor are there any bad things which outweigh the good.

    It’s screwed up — but it means well. It’s supposed to be comforting. But it always seems to me like the reasoning of a battered spouse enabling their attacker.

  • Artor

    While I think it’s futile to read too much into Costello’s statement, I took a pretty innocuous meaning from it. All of us, atheists or not, need to find meaning in our own lives. In a traumatic situation like the bombing & it’s aftermath, it’s natural to ask “why?” and try to find some personal meaning for the event. It’s that, or dwell too much on being a helpless victim of happenstance. Costello found someone he loves while recovering. Regardless of the existence of fate or not, he’s found something good in the bad circumstances.

  • peterh

    If Costello had simply used the term “serendipity” . . . . . . .

  • dingojack

    I wonder if he’ll be sending the remaining bomber flowers and nice thank-you note on each of his wedding anniversaries*…

    :/ Dingo


    *or perhaps he’ll be sending wreathes to the families who lost loved ones [or suffered terrible injuries] with the message “Sucks your loved one died [or had their leg wrenched off or whatever], but I met my wife so it’s all totally justified”

    PS I wonder if he ever thought of asking his friends if they knew any single women? That would of saved a lot of heartache, maiming and death.

  • I agree with Gretchen’s take (don’t all rush out and buy lottery tickets and shit–weirder things happen!).

    I had a sleep apnea test a couple of months back. The result was inconclusive but I had to do a “take home” oximetry test as the readings were skirting a range that they didn’t like. The other day I got a call from a guy who wanted to deliver some “equipment” to me. I called the VA and the respiratory person I talked to said that the doctor had ordered it based on the second set of reading from the take home test.

    So, now, I’ve got a box the size of room dehumidifier humming all night long, to pump oxy into the cannula that’a up my nostrils. It’s not easy to get used to but I’ll adapt.

    I thought it was weird that I would get this thing because, since my Ranger has been un-drivable for about six months, I’ve been biking it or walking–up to 30-40 miles per week and I have decent wind, except on the steeps, which is unchanged from when I rode up to 200 miles per week.

    All of what is going on now is the result of me taking the fast way down a flight of stairs on New Year’s Eve, 2008–there was no alcohol involved, speed was not a factor. I’ve been living with some level of pain virtually every day since then. The Sleep Apnea test was one of a number of things that would never have been done unless I kept pushing the docs to find a reason for my fatigue, pain and stiffness.

    So, maybe the overnight oxygen will make a difference in the quality of my life, maybe not.

    Am I grateful for having fallen down the stairs and setting tis train wreck of events in motion–not one fucking bit. If I believed in GOD, I’d be pissed off at him.

  • dingojack

    Demo* – and did your accident somehow involve some hapless guy coming up the stairs which resulted in him falling heavily and receiving permanent injury (so now he’s in terrible, constant pain)?

    The next time you saw him did you say to him cheerily: “Gee, it’s so lucky I fell down stairs that New Year’s Eve! Now I know I’ve got a border-line case of sleep apnoea”?

    If not, perhaps you are labouring under a false analogy.



    * note well: sleep apnoea is not good in any way at all. Border-line, mild or severe, not having it is much, much better than having it, and I sincerely hope you find a way to alleviate (or eliminate) the problem. However….

  • busterggi

    Sounds like the same god that let WW2 and the holocaust happen just so Adolph could marry Eva.

  • @22:

    Nope, I was completely alone although, now that I think of it, I did see TWO sets of footprints going down the stairs to the point where I took a tumble…

  • Ichthyic

    Sounds like the same god that let WW2 and the holocaust happen just so Adolph could marry Eva.

    and if THAT didn’t happen, Hitler probably never would have committed suicide, or the Russians would have failed to turn back Operation Barbarossa, or…

    it was obvious that God wanted Hitler to commit suicide. that’s what all prior human history was leading up to.

    now were just watching the credits roll.