Staver: Marriage Equality Will Turn People Gay!

One of the most curious things about anti-gay bigots is that they seem to think that homosexuality is incredibly alluring and that if we don’t make the lives of gay people miserable, everyone is just going to flock to it. Mat Staver of Liberty Counsel says that marriage equality could lead people to become gay and then society would collapse:

If you ultimately promoted same-sex marriage and everyone started to go towards same-sex marriage, what would happen to society? It would just simply cease to exist. Moreover, you’d have rampant increase in diseases. Already, you have rampant increase in diseases among same-sex activities, specifically men having sex with men. Same-sex marriage, same-sex relationships is destructive to individuals and it’s destructive to our very social fabric.

The power of The Gay compels you! It’s like the dark side of the force, apparently. It’s really a wonder I’ve never become gay, when you think about it, what with all those gay people I know. And I don’t even have God on my side to help withstand the apparently overwhelming temptation. It’s a Festivus miracle!

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POPULAR AT PATHEOS Nonreligious
What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • http://www.cmccd.edu tinyal

    I too have somehow (is it the power of the Reason?) apparently resisted such a powerful temptation!!! Must be a Reason Miracle!

    Doh, real idiots – are they increasing in number? Or popularity? Sometimes it seems like society is going backwards :(

  • colnago80

    Already, you have rampant increase in diseases among same-sex activities, specifically men having sex with men.

    Apparently, the rampant increase doesn’t app;y to lesbians who have a lower rate of HIV infections then heterosexuals.

  • http://www.ranum.com Marcus Ranum

    I have to confess I’ve been feeling a bit different lately. So maybe it’s working!

    So many new options… Where do I even start?

  • blf

    Oh, good! I know of several people whose dress-sense / fashion could use improvement…

  • http://festeringscabofrealityblogspot.com fifthdentist

    An increase in diseases among same-sex activities? I was not aware that activities are prone to disease.

    Also, what colnago80 said. If Staver’s goal is to reduce the incidence of diseases, obviously we’ve all got to become lesbians.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    He’s right. It’s like I always say, “Gay marriage: come for the ‘marriage’, stay for the ‘gay’.”

  • John Hinkle

    Same-sex marriage, same-sex relationships is destructive to individuals and it’s destructive to our very social fabric.

    He’s right. I have social fabric on my couch. Repeatedly putting my butt on it will destroy it.

  • John Pieret

    Look at the FACTS folks! We all know that there hardly any straight people left in Massachusetts!

  • http://www.gregory-gadow.net Gregory in Seattle

    If everyone (ok, well, just every male) decided to become a Catholic priest, society would cease to exist. Therefore…?

  • cptdoom

    Seeing gay people will turn all people gay in the same way that being taught by nuns turned all the girls in my high school into nuns (with apologies to the late Harvey Milk for stealing his idea).

  • Larry

    #3 Marcus

    Where do I even start?

    There are online classes that you can sign up for, I hear. Or you can find “Becoming Gay for Dummies” on Amazon or Barnes and Noble. The main thing is that if you’re truly motivated, there are resources available.

  • marcus

    Thank you Larry. I am tired of those big mean gay bullies kicking santorum in my face and I am going to do something about it! I have sent away of my copy of “Becoming Gay for Dummies” and I plan to start practicing right away! No more Mr Straight Guy for me!

  • Jackie wishes she could hibernate

    Sure it will. Just like straight marriages magically turn people straight.

  • http://www.facebook.com/den.wilson d.c.wilson

    Well, didn’t you all see the movie “In and Out”? Kevin Kline comes out of the closet and suddenly the entire town turned gay! Poor Joan Cusack was left alone crying “Is everybody gay?!” in the night.

  • rationalinks

    This makes perfect sense, and there is even precedent in the bible for it. If everywhere you go all you see is teh gay (because you let them walk around freely and even get married!), just like the goats that looked at striped sticks had striped babies, so you will have gay babies by looking at teh gay all the time.

  • scienceavenger

    100% might be catastrophic for society, but 90% gay might not be too bad given all the problems with overpopulation.

  • cptdoom

    @scienceavenger #16 – but won’t someone think of the golf course operators? If all those straight men didn’t need an excuse to get out of the house, who is going to run around a field chasing a white ball with a stick?

  • laurentweppe

    Remember Ed: a man attracted to other men who mary a woman only to cuckold her at every turn is a straight-laced, God-fearing, Bona-fide heterosexual. Marriage equality is going to turn all these straight-laced, God-fearing, Bona-fide heterosexual into fabulously decadent monogamic married homosexuals.

  • sigurd jorsalfar

    Strange. I could have sworn that just the other day Phil “Daffy Duck Dynasty” Robertson went on the record to declare that he just couldn’t for the life of him understand why a man would be sexually attracted to another man (I paraphrase). If I remember correctly, christians and right wingers came crawling out of the woodwork in droves to scream at us about how right he was.

    So which is it, christians: are you against homosexuality because you find it so repulsive, like Phil Robertson? Or are you against it because you find it so tempting?

  • Al Dente

    Homophobic “researcher” Paul Cameron said that if any man tried gay sex then he’d automatically forgo straight sex and become completely gay. I know what Cameron fantasizes about when he’s doing the dirty with the missus.

  • Nemo

    Yep, you get rampant increase in diseases by encouraging monogamous relationships among gay people. The logic is impeccable.

    So which is it, christians: are you against homosexuality because you find it so repulsive, like Phil Robertson? Or are you against it because you find it so tempting?

    Ooh, ooh, I know — Man in his “natural”, fallen state finds homosexuality irresistible, but through the grace of God, the saved can see how repulsive it really is. Maybe? Hmm, that doesn’t fit with calling it “unnatural”, though… oh well, back to the wingnut drawing board.

  • stripeycat

    You’re overlooking the important factor of misogyny. There needs to be a huge taboo against teh gay to overcome the natural ickyness of women. If gayness becomes even slightly more attractive, then men will flee straight relationships in droves because only desperation forces them to have anything to do with the evil personified we represent.

  • Nick Gotts

    If all those straight men didn’t need an excuse to get out of the house, who is going to run around a field chasing a white ball with a stick? – cptdoom@16

    Scots. The only country in the world where bits of open space require the posting of “No Golf Practice” notices!

  • http://polrant@blogspot.com democommie

    Somebody should tell Mattyboy that eh GAYmawwiage will make people equal. Yeah, just to make his head explode.

  • http://www.facebook.com/joseph.stricklin josephstricklin

    If you find the gay lifestyle alluring you might, in fact, be gay yourself.