Glenn Beck’s Year That Was

Right Wing Watch has a great deal of fun chronicling Glenn Beck’s inanity on a daily basis, so they’ve compiled a long list of the whacky and ridiculous things Beck said in 2013. It’s quite a list, full of pathos and fury and much weeping and grandiosity.

When not freaking out about the future of technology, Beck became convinced that the bombing at the Boston Marathon was an al Qaeda attack backed by Saudi Arabia and vowed to take down the government if it did not come clean. For days, Beck harped about this supposed cover-up … until it was revealed that he didn’t really have any idea what he was talking about, at which point he gave up and moved on.

And what he moved on to was his belief that a man who shot himself at the Houston airport while the NRA convention happened to be in town was part of a “false flag” operation carried out by Occupy Wall Street in order to push for gun control. That was also entirely untrue and so Beck dropped it after a few days, never to mention it again…

At one point, Beck promised a story that would rock the nation, but all that emerged was some coalition of Tea Party members of Congress who refused to back immigration reform.  Nothing ever came from this supposed scoop, but that didn’t stop him from promising other such scoops, which likewise never materialized.

Through it all, Beck somberly warned his audience time and again that America’s days were numbered because society had gone insane and been engulfed in darkness. Until, this is, Beck spoke at a Tea Party rally in Washington, DC and realized that the Tea Party is the modern day civil rights movement and the people forseeen by God and the Founding Fathers who would one day rise up and save this nation … just as Beck has been trying to do throughout his career.

I’m especially amused by all of the bombshell revelations he promises and never delivers on that his followers never seem to catch on to.

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  • I’m especially amused by all of the bombshell revelations he promises and never delivers on that his followers never seem to catch on to.

    Really? What about the “Teabaggers as new Civil Rights movement”? Wasn’t it a bombshell that old white people were rising up to get the [apparent] Civil Right to maintain their privilege and keep “those people” (*wink wink*) from mooching all the Entitlements, which Teabaggers earned but nobody else did? And who better to lead the movement of people who’ve spent decades fighting against civil rights for others than those very same people?

  • julial

    Mayhaps his followers aren’t too bright?

  • Larry

    As silly as Beck is, when it comes down evaluating the year, the only thing that matters is the number of zeroes at the end of his paycheck. His listeners have memory spans shorter than fleas and will continue listening in 2014 irregardless of his 2013 pronouncements thus ensuring those zeroes will carry into next year as well.

  • abb3w

    There seems an almost quasi-religious appeal to such claims of having secret knowledge.

    Granted, it’s obvious Beck is a religious flavored loon; but I’m wondering if this particular part of his exact flavor of lunacy might shed light on religiosity in general.

  • gopiballava

    Maybe we can solve two mysteries together: why would anybody advertise on his show, and what happened to these bombshells?

    Is there a specific schedule that he follows with these? Is it related to the time that his advertisers are up for renewal? Are any of his advertisers related to the shadowy organizations that fund these conspiracies?

  • raven

    One other was his July 4th Man in the Moon revelations in Salt Lake City.

    Which had a long runup and were so boring no one knows what happened. Or cared.

  • screechymonkey

    gopiballava @5:

    why would anybody advertise on his show

    Access to a very gullible audience? A paranoid and gullible audience? (Especially valuable if, like many of Beck’s advertisers, you’re selling gold or other “insurance” against the coming atheist Muslim communist apocalypse.)

  • @screechymonkey: That’s certainly the target market I’d suspect.

    I remember reading a claim that Beck was dropped from Fox in part because of how many of the advertisers felt about him, economically. I can’t remember the marketing jargon that was used. (Toxic?) It was meant to convey that although a lot of people watched his show, they were inherently unlikely to buy anything, hence the time slot wasn’t worth nearly as much as the ratings would normally suggest.

    Ironically, I think the thread had a lot of conversation about the cheap “cash for gold” commercials he had at the time, since none of the big names would buy the airtime. “Cash for gold” as in buying gold, which I suppose might have alarmed those people who think fiat money is going to be devalued by Obama sometime next week.

  • Bronze Dog, you’re misremembering. It wasn’t buying your gold for cash, it was selling coins for your cash.

  • Alverant

    I remember fraudster Kevin Trudeau having a website that promised secret information as well from people like the Illuminati and The Brotherhood. At least he’s in jail now.

  • I still think Glenn Beck is Andy Kauffman in disguise, pulliin of the greatest prank/performance art piece of all time.

  • Say, whatever happened to that “universe-shattering” announcement by the Arpaio gang that was due this past Friday?

  • matty1

    Is your headline missing a n’t?

  • timberwoof

    Glen Beck is a preacher. He leads people through emotional ups and downs, exercising their fear, anger, frustration … and then hope. I suppose an aspiring actor could try to mimic him and evoke all those reactions. Gah.