Hey Look, a Tired, Hackneyed Argument

Jeffrey Lord of the American Spectator has penned a predictable, tired, cliche-ridden column making the shiny new argument that atheism is a religion. Atheists, he says, worship the “God of No God.” He offers only one substantive argument for that conclusion and it doesn’t even come close to being logical. This is so trite that I suspect he phoned it in:

It’s Christmas. Our atheist friends are out there doing their thing. No to a crèche here, take down that cross over there, absolutely not to the Ten Commandments display somewhere else. And, of course, as the folks at GLAAD have just recently reminded us in the Duck Dynasty contretemps, there’s nothing like being out of the closet as Christophobes.

Christophobes being defined here as those with fear or contempt of Christians or those who believe in God, not to mention those who exhibit behavior based on that feeling of fear and contempt for Christians and believing in God.

It’s time.

Time to recognize that contrary to all the endless PR, atheists and Christophobes in fact have a God. It’s time to demand formal recognition of atheism and Christophobes for what they really are: followers of the religion that worships The God of No God.

As with the Judeo-Christian and Islamic gods, The God of No God is everywhere — both visible and invisible. He — and while The God of No God could be called She or even It, we will settle here for the irritating He — appears in a limitless number of ways.

Notice the town crèche that is the subject of controversy? What do you see all around that crèche — not to mention when the crèche is removed?

Notice that cross that was removed? What was in its place?

What replaced the crèche and the cross, and in fact is everywhere according to atheists, is The God of No God. Nothing. Or something… liberalism, the Democrats, being gay, abortion, having money, computers, the Internet, pornography, television, the environment, animals… the list is endless. But that interminable list always boils down to one thing: The God of No God. Wherever the object of worship is not related to Jesus Christ, the Almighty, Allah, Buddha — which is to say a spiritual deity… The God of No God demands…say again demands…your allegiance.

*yawn* Is this supposed to be clever? It sounds like the kind of thing written for one of those “alternative” conservative college papers by a dull frat boy who fancies himself the next P.J. O’Rourke (about whom Christopher Hitchens once said, “He thinks he’s a wit; he’s half-right”). Lord attempts to make one actual argument:

The Fundamentalist No Godders are, of course, always out there leading the fight for official recognition as a religion. Over at the American Atheists, for example, they are demanding official recognition of their faith with a fervor that would shame Billy Graham or the late Jerry Falwell. Says the AA: “American Atheists has filed suit against the IRS to challenge the special treatment given to churches in the Tax Code.”

Which is just another way of saying that the Fundamentalist branch of the Church of The God of No God, American Atheists, want equality of treatment and official recognition of their religion by the U.S. government. What’s good enough for the Gods of Presbyterians and Jews in the tax code must be good enough for the American Atheists and their passionate belief in The God of No God.

Pardon me, I need to retrieve my eyes, which have rolled into the next room. You have to be a special kind of stupid to believe that a demand that the government not privilege religions with financial benefits that are not available to other non-profit organization is simultaneously a demand that everything else be considered a religion. The tiny little kernel of an argument he is trying to make while not explicitly stating it is that since all religious non-profits are treated equally, there is no inequality here. Which is a lot like arguing that since white people were not discriminated against during the civil rights battles, the fact that black people were is irrelevant. It’s simply moronic.

But the real fun is in the comments, where straw men from alleged atheists (the good kind, they say, the kind that agrees with this insipid tripe) are met with deranged conspiracy theories. First the straw man:

I’m an athiest too, OJ, but I sure am pissed off at the GLAADBAAGS that try to impose the will of the minority (yes, I realize we atheists are a minority) on the majority. I will fight anybody telling me I have to go to church or practice a religion, but if people want to put up a manger scene or the ten commandments, or express their opinion on the morality of homosexuality, that is their right to do so. If they disagree with opinions expressed, let them argue, not try to silence those they disagree with. The left wing intolerance of anything that doesn’t conform to their religious belief that they are the only ones with the the view of the absolute truth and that they are justified in anything they do to promote their agenda are different from the islamic suicide bombers only in degree, not in principle.

Religious people say lots of things I disagree with, and I often argue with them, but I’ll never call for them to be silenced. If you’re afraid of debate, you aren’t very confident you can win the debate….

Yes, atheists are just like suicide bombers. I mean, aside from the fact that atheist suicide bombers don’t actually exist. And the response to that comment:

Homosexuals desire their own extinction and the Muslim animals are more than willing to give it them… I simply have no cause to interfere in the conflict between these devils…

Judaic Bolshevist Mammonism (Baphomet) is just as much of a devil as Mahomet.

Forcing everyone to buy Obamacare from Wall Street insurance companies owned by the big banks makes no sense at all.

“Occupy” exactly what?

The Golden Calf has grown up to be a hollow Bronze Bull.

The Synagogue of Sodomy and Church of the Stinky Donut Hole will not tolerate blasphemy of their false religious fággotry.

Sounds like a 12-year old got one of those Get a Better Vocabulary Desk Calendars.

"Yeah, like driving all those motherfucking snakes out of motherfucking Ireland!"

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