Gordo Thinks Only Those Going to Heaven Get Benefits

Gordon Klingenschmitt declared on his show recently that the government should not prevent discrimination against gay people because gay people aren’t going to heaven and “If they’re not going to get eternal benefits in Heaven, why should we give them government rewards here on this earth? I don’t think we should.” Well yes, but this is because you’re a theocratic totalitarian.

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  • Randomfactor

    And maybe all those churches with the “wrong” theology should lose their tax-exempt status too? Want to list them, Gordo?

  • jnorris

    I volunteer Mr Klingenschmitt to go to heaven and get the list of all those who are or will be Real Americans entitled to civil rights. Gordo, you can go any time now.

  • noastronomer

    Hey Gordo, as a christian *you* are not supposed to enjoy life. It’s supposed to be unpleasant. That way you’ll appreciate heaven all the more. Perhaps god wants us to give benefits to gays just to make *you* miserable.

    You’re Welcome.


  • greg1466

    By this reasoning, it would imply that no one should get government benefits until they can provide some sort of verifiable documentation that they are going to Heaven. Which I suppose would be more fair than they way Republicans want to dole out government subsidies now.

  • Thank God I’m one of the Elect.

  • eric

    Modus, I think you tyed ‘l’ instead of ‘r’

  • Synfandel

    Not getting benefits isn’t so bad, as long as you have a friend with benefits.

  • Olav

    I am not American so I have to wonder: what sort of reach or influence does this Klingenschmitt really have in your country? Is it time to get afraid already?

  • Alverant

    Do corporations get into heaven Klingenschmitt? Why don’t you advocate cutting corporate welfare too?

  • cptdoom

    As Lila, the restaurant owner played by Jacqueline Bisset in the 2003 movie Latter Days, says (while talking with a Mormon missionary about his religion) “Your religion doesn’t approve of alcohol or homosexuals? I’m definitely not joining then; I can’t imagine Heaven without both.”

    @Olav # 8 – Gordo is a far right winger who really only has influence over those in his bigoted camp. Quite frankly, the more he opens his mouth, the more he does for the cause of equality.

  • peterh

    Klingenschmitt has got him some weapons-grade stupid.

    #8: Is not to worry; we seem to teem with the loud, the stupid, the few.

  • d cwilson

    Gordo does offer a fascinating glimpse into the minds of the rightwing theocrat because he has no qualms about saying out loud what many of them think in private. His ideas are pefectly in synch with the worldview that all laws should be in complete agreement with the Bible and that only Christians (and on the “correct” kinds of Christians) should have rights. In some ways, it’s actually refreshing to hear someone drop any pretext that he believes in equal protection under the law and give us the unvarnished bigotry free of any softpedaling. Gordo considers homosexuals to be subhuman troglodtyes unworthy of the basic rights of a citizen. Many of his fellow travelers on the right feel the same way. They’re just hiding it behind the code phrases like “family values” and “protecting marriage.”

  • Al Dente

    I really wonder if Klingenschmitt’s god looks favorably on self-righteous assholes like Gordon.

  • sigurd jorsalfar

    The logic of this could just as easily be, if gays aren’t getting rewards in Heaven, then we should give them to them now as a consolation prize. Likewise, since the christians are going to get rewards in heaven, we should save money and not give them any benefits here on earth. Heaven will more than make up for it.

  • Al Dente

    You’ll get pie in the sky when you die.

  • D. C. Sessions

    I really wonder if Klingenschmitt’s god looks favorably on self-righteous assholes like Gordon.

    If not, it’s the ONLY point where GG (Gordo’s God) doesn’t do as he’s told.

  • 12ab

    I have generally withdrawn from the arena of American religion. To borrow one of Ed’s phrases, I see religion as being dominated by the voices of “bat shit crazy” people. Few things are more ridiculous and frustrating than observing the “bat shit crazies” who are armed with a Bible and convinced that they are about to do the will of God. The person in the above video certainly falls into this ctegory.

    He does not understandd that our national response to social and legal issues are governed by constitutional guidelines that reflect and protect the freedom and rights of our divers population regardless of religious beliefs or lack of religious beliefs. Notwithstanding the hue and cry of religious zealots, America is a secular nation and our government is under no mandate to conform to or even respect positions based on or drawn from Pauline polemics (nor Christian polemics for that matter).

    Per the scriptures referred to in the video, Paul is writing to the specific community which comprises the church in Corinth. The authority of his statements have force only in-so-far as they apply to the collective body of that community. He makes it clear that his words are directed solely to the community in Corinth, (“not all meaning the immoral of this world….since you would then need to go out of the world” 1 Cor. 5:10-11).

    Paul says that he has nothing to do with judging those outside the church community. He and other community believers must limit their judgment to only those who are members of their own community and says that judging those outside the collective body of the community is nobody’s business but God’s (1 Cor. 5:12-13).

    Scriptural authority and theocratic despotism has no standing in our country outside the boundaries of those collective bodies of churches, synagogs, mosques, etc. where they are subscribed to and practiced. Paul called for strict discipline within the church and complete freedom of association outside it. Sexual immorality as defined within any religious body may be recognized within the workings/relationships/associations of that body but cannot be imposed upon the at-large population of the country/world. Therefore, Paul’s intention applies only to church discipline and not to a general censorship of the world at large. Apparently, Gordo has a Bible and knows how to quote it but lacks the proper education to interpret and apply it.

  • comfychair

    Well since it’s so easy to tell who’s going to heaven and who’s not, why stop at just withholding benefits? Why not try, oh I dunno, maybe something involving cattle cars? I hear that’s the way it’s been done in the past.

  • otrame

    Gordo is one of those who make me wish that there is a god and an afterlife. When he gets to the Seat of Judgement, I can see Jesus looking at him.

    Jesus (more in sorrow than in anger): What part of “Judge not” did you not understand? I mentioned the idea repeatedly and I know it got transferred to the Bible you claimed to believe in. (sigh) Okay, what you have done to the least of these, you did also unto me. I didn’t appreciate it one little bit. Dad is just livid that you think you have the right to judge. So, tell me, Gordo, what do you think you deserve?”

  • StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    “If they’re not going to get eternal benefits in Heaven, why should we give them government rewards here on this earth?

    Perhaps because our human ruled society is kinder and fairer than homophobic bigot Gordon Klingenschmitt’s bigoted idea of a nasty god excluding people from heaven?

    Perhaps because what maybe happens in some hypothetical heaven isn’t at all relevant to what we decide to do here on Earth? (Not should it be.)

    Perhaps because being denied heaven means we need to give them all the more in this life?

  • TxSkeptic

    Two words for Gordo:


  • dingojack

    My dear ‘fruity’ Gordo:

    .John 18:36

    Jesus answered, My kingdom is not of this world: if my kingdom were of this world, then would my servants fight, that I should not be delivered to the Jews: but now is my kingdom not from hence.

    Looks like the ‘pansy of Palestine’ has abdicated from the Earth. Guess you’ll have to wait until you die*.



    * taking the rather dubious assumption that god will forgive your grievous and many sins that is!

  • kevinalexander

    I really wonder if Klingenschmitt’s god looks favorably on self-righteous assholes like Gordon.


    The clearest proof we have that god is imaginary is that he conforms to the personality of the believer. So for a religious colospective such as Gordon the answer is yes.

  • Gordo Klangenscreech; proof that if ANY god exists, it must be “Coyote, the trickster” from Native American lore. I would say that if there WAS any truth to the notion of extant gods that Gordo would have been created in his make’s image–perhaps as Wile E. Coyote (and we all know what happens when Mr. Wile E. tilts with the Roadrunner–which character I prefer to think of as embodying some sort of reality that Wile E. can’t trump–he gets his ass handed to him) but, in the end, I realized that I don’t HATE Wile E. Coyote.

    So, I’m thinking that Gordo, “The sound of two jaws flapping”, is more likely to be coyote scat.

  • Pierce R. Butler

    For once, he left out the demons.

    What benefits should demons (& those possessed by them) get, Mr. Klingenschmitt?

  • jonathandelafield

    Interesting. He bills himself as Dr. Klingenschmidt with a Ph.D. But if you track him down, you find that his “Ph.D.” is in Theology from a christian college in Virginia. Isn’t that like having a degree in basically nothing, the study of something that doesn’t exist? So what is the pre-occupation with these people awarding themselves academic titles? It just cheapens the real titles.

  • dingojack

    That’s not entirely true – a friend of mine has a DD from Sydney Uni. Ok not a PhD in Theology, I grant you….


  • jonathandelafield

    I guess that I don’t understand the subtleties — DD, Ph.D. in Theology – or any of the other religious titles? If they come from disciplines that study the effects of religion on society, then I somewhat grasp them. But they seem to (in my naive view) presume the unquestioned existence of god and ruminate on how to worship him. I don’t get it. In any case Klingenschmidt’s Ph.D. comes from Regents University, which looks like a vocational school for pastors. Sort of a business school for the religion business.

    What is a DD or a Ph.D. in Theology? What do they learn?

  • 12ab

    Let’s “discern the spirits.” I have discerned the spirits and my discernment is that tis guy is insanely bat shit crazy. You may question as to what my qualifications for discerning the spirits might be. My qualifications are valid because I say that they are valid and I can support my conclusions by quoting scriptures. It doesn’t matter that I am totally incompetent and uneducated in the disciplines of exegesis, interpretation and hermeneutics. God told me, I believe it and that settles it.

  • jonathandelafield “I don’t get it. In any case Klingenschmidt’s Ph.D. comes from Regents University, which looks like a vocational school for pastors.”

    Now you’re just being ridiculous. Regent University is a school for a very specific kind of pastor. The Pat Robertson kind.