Benefiel Destroyed Baal, Ended a Drought

Self-declared prophets John Benefiel, Mike and Cindy Jacobs went on and on about how in 2007, they used one of their “Baal divorce decrees” to destroy the rule of Baal in Texas and Oklahoma, resulting in months of rains and floods. Which ended the drought. Oh, and prevented Oklahoma from going into recession.

“Literally the day after we used this Baal divorce decree in 2007,” Benefiel explained, “the rains came and we ended up having more rain between February and June of 2007 than any other twelve month period in history.”

On top of that, Benefiel’s efforts to divorce Baal also ended up protecting Oklahoma City from the global recession that hit in 2008.

“That is not an accident,” he said. “That’s God’s blessings.”

A couple questions come to mind. First, Texas has been in a drought for nearly 4 years now. Why didn’t these rains last long enough to keep that from happening? And in August, 2011 Benefiel was one of the organizers of Rick Perry’s famous prayer rally in Houston to pray for rain to end the drought. If he’s so all-powerful and his prayers can bring floods and prevent recessions, why didn’t it work? Why is Texas still in a major drought 2 1/2 years after he prayed to end it?

POPULAR AT PATHEOS Nonreligious
What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • http://Reallyawakeguy.blogspot.com somnus

    Count the hits, ignore the misses.

  • matty1

    Remember God has terrible aim the drought in Texas is in fact punishment for gay marriage in New Zealand, while Benefiel’s prayers resulted in higher than average rain for a small village in Bangladesh. I also have it on authority every bit as good as his that cold winters in Canada are a result of the popularity of seafood in Singapore.

  • raven

    Not impressed.

    The Pagan gods Thor, Estre, and my cat with superpowers have defeated the latest Frost Giant incursion. The evidence is plain to see.

    After months of roaming North America, they are on the run back to Helholm. Almost everyone can see that just by looking out a window. There is some mopup left to do up in Canada.

    The price of spring and summer is eternal vigilance. The Frost Giants will be back and we will be ready for them.

    PS You don’t have to send us any money. The gods and the cat are so powerful they don’t have any use for it.

  • http://www.gregory-gadow.net Gregory in Seattle

    “Ba’al” was a title, essentially identical to the English word “Lord.” It was used not only to mean any number of gods, it was also used in a way similar to the word “boss.”

    In cultic terms, it was the most common epithet for the god Hadad who, like Yahweh, had a name that only high priests were allowed to utter. Hadad was a god of agriculture, specifically the rains that watered the fields. As used in the Bible, Ba’al frequently meant minor, unnamed gods of particular fields, who oversaw the growth, ripening and harvest of the grain grown in them.

    So actually, renouncing Ba’al should have caused drought, as you cannot bring rain by insulting and driving off the rain god.

  • raven

    Actually the real rain god is Tlaloc.

    He used to accept still beating human hearts, torn out of victims captured in war as payment.

    But gods are adaptable and change with the times. These days he accepts cash, checks, Visa, and Mastercard.

  • dingojack

    Yes – but did they get rid all those pesky elephants lurking the Oklahoma cornfields? (They’re quite common according messieurs Rogers and Hammerstein).

    Dingo

  • sigurd jorsalfar

    It would have been nice of them to divorce Baal on behalf of the entire country or the entire planet, instead of just Texas and Oklahoma. Jerks.

    Four years of drought in Texas, you say, Ed? Well obviously Baal secretly remarried Texas 4 years ago. They really want to make it work this time, for the sake of the children.

  • dhall

    If Benefiel divorced Ba’al, then he must have been married to him first, so . . . pagan gay marriage? When did he marry Ba’al, and how come that wasn’t in the news? I’m not sure that even someone who actually worshiped that various gods labeled ‘Ba’al’ would be able to follow this guy’s gibberish.

  • Larry

    Couldn’t they just of called in the Ghostbusters and extracted Baal using those proton packs to corral the ugly little spud?

  • matty1

    “Ba’al” was a title, essentially identical to the English word “Lord.”

    That puts the fact many English translations use “Lord” in place of the name of YHWH in an interesting light.

  • markr1957

    matty1 @ 10 – that is accounted for by the title “Jah Ba’al On” as used in certain Masonic rituals. (As in God, Lord of All)

  • Christoph Burschka

    @2

    Remember God has terrible aim the drought in Texas is in fact punishment for gay marriage in New Zealand, while Benefiel’s prayers resulted in higher than average rain for a small village in Bangladesh. I also have it on authority every bit as good as his that cold winters in Canada are a result of the popularity of seafood in Singapore.

    Made my day 😀

  • Numenaster

    @raven #3: Please convey my thanks to the gods. My cats have already transmitted their gratitude to yours, in between their shifts continuing the pursuit of fleeing giants (we don’t want them settling in Oregon, it’s clear back to Helholm they go).

    And your internet is on its way.

  • Dexeron

    Aw, but Ba’al was my favorite of the villains on Stargate: SG1.

  • Kevin Kehres

    Um…according to economists, it was government jobs that protected Oklahoma City from the 2009 recession.

  • sunsangnim

    Wait, so they believe that Baal is a real god? I thought all the stuff about not worshipping false gods meant that the god of the OT was the only god and the others were imaginary. But if Baal can cause bad weather, he must exist. I didn’t know Baal could marry municipalities. I don’t remember that in the Bible. Do they worship golden calves in Oklahoma? I’m so confused.

  • nellwebbish

    So now that these people have publicly asserted their responsibility for causing the 2007 floods, can the families of the 22 people who died and the 10’s of thousands of people who lost homes and businesses sue the crap out of them for damages?