Alabama Guv Declares Day of Prayer Over Students

Alabama Governor Robert Bentley declared last Friday an official day of throwing salt over one’s shoulder in order to help the students of that state…well, do something. Oh, sorry, I read that wrong. He declared a day of prayer for them, which will do precisely as much good at achieving…well, something.

The governor of Alabama declared Friday to be the statewide ‘Day of Prayer Over Students Across Alabama,’ urging people of faith to lift up youth in the state in their prayers that they may live godly and honorable lives.

“Whereas Alabama students face extreme challenges, such as peer pressure to abuse drugs and alcohol, negative influences in the media, school violence and gang activities, and low self-esteem,” the proclamation issued by Governor Robert Bentley read, “… Alabamians are encouraged to pray for God’s protection, guidance and peace, and for opportunities and blessings on the students of Alabama.”

“And whereas that prayer be offered for our schools, teachers and administrators for God’s wisdom and knowledge as they impart to the students of our state the greatest lessons of life and morality, and the education that each student deserves,” it continued, “Now, therefore, I, Robert Bentley, Governor of Alabama, do hereby proclaim March 28, 2014 as [the] Day of Prayer Over Students Across Alabama.”…

“We are thankful once again for the governor’s proclamation,” First Priority of Greater Birmingham Executive Director Matthew Wilson told AL.com.

“Praying for students is not just a privilege, it’s a necessity. They face an enormous amount of peer pressure to become part of what is considered normal by the world’s standards,” he said. “Without prayer, these students will not be able to stand against the insurmountable odds they will face from childhood until they leave this world.”

Really? You mean no kid ever manages to have a productive and happy life without prayer, ever? Funny, the United States is by far the most Christian nation in the modern West and students in other countries seem to be doing considerably better on most of those measures. That must be what they mean with all that “American exceptionalism” crap.

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  • sh3baproject

    lets just rename the governer of albama King. after all, he did get power from his god.

  • D. C. Sessions

    You mean no kid ever manages to have a productive and happy life without prayer, ever?

    I don’t see any mention of “productive” or “happy.” The objectives seem to be keeping the kids in line and having them avoid temptation to become more like those in other parts of the world. You know, things like “productive” and “happy” like those scum in New England or Denmark.

  • http://www.ranum.com Marcus Ranum

    Prayer: For when you absolutely want to do nothing but appear to help.

  • flatlander100

    I guess we can conclude from the Gov’s statement hat he thought Bama students didn’t have a prayer…..

  • Friendly

    The governor of Alabama thinks the correct term for natives of his state is “Alabamians”??

  • John Pieret

    They face an enormous amount of peer pressure to become part of what is considered normal by the world’s standards,”

    In the US, “normal” used to mean educated, prosperous, healthy and fulfilled. Heaven forefend!

  • John Pieret

    The governor of Alabama thinks the correct term for natives of his state is “Alabamians”??

    I think he got confused by the name for people from the state he wants to turn Alabama into … Albanians.

  • http://blog.nikhilkrishnaswamy.com nkrishna

    Actually, “Alabamian” is the official demonym for Alabama, recommended by the USGPO. Not sure why they recommended that over “Alabaman,” though.

  • http://www.gregory-gadow.net Gregory in Seattle

    *Sigh* Fine, I will get my pasta maker, so that I might commend Alabama’s students to the Maker Pasta.

  • matty1

    Hello and welcome to another week of Band Names That Should Totally Be Real.

    We have a packed line up for you tonight folks, kicking off we have some heavy metal from Evil Human Being and Pawns of Satan then a change of pace with folk music from Back of The Bus and taking us up to the first break alien themed sonic weirdness from The Alabamians.

  • http://www.gregory-gadow.net Gregory in Seattle

    @Marcus Ranum – According to Mrs. Betty Bowers, prayer is the act of telling an all-knowing, all-powerful and all-loving deity that His divine plan for you is flawed. And shockingly stingy.

    Then there is the ever delightful Ambrose Bierce

    PRAY, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

  • a_ray_in_dilbert_space

    Hey, who needs to fund education when you can just pray over the students, right?

  • Jeremy Shaffer

    I know some people who are fairly well acquainted with Bentley, most of them even like him on a personal level, and each of them have said that to call the man as dumb as a sack of rocks would be giving him too much credit. In light of some of the stories they’ve told me about him, both before he was elected governor and since, this is one of the more reasonable things he’s done or said.

  • bahrfeldt

    Praying instead of doing means more cash for those in charge.

  • Wylann

    “Whereas Alabama students face extreme challenges, such as peer pressure to abuse drugs and alcohol, negative influences in the media, school violence and gang activities, and low self-esteem,” the proclamation issued by Governor Robert Bentley[.]

    He left out the part about the education system being continually interfered with by gobshites in the government. Wonder why?

  • Michael Heath

    Ironic that people advocating this behavior and joining into this behavior are the primary obstacle to AL public school students flourishing.

  • http://festeringscabofrealityblogspot.com fifthdentist

    In Alabama, per-pupil spending reportedly fell by more than 20 percent between 2008 and ’14.

    I guess this is the Republican plan to compensate for the evisceration of the state’s education budget.

    http://www.usatoday.com/story/money/business/2013/09/25/7-states-slashing-education-spending/2866529/

  • busterggi

    Pray for the students but under no circumstances educate them.

  • had3

    Prayer really is the least they can do for the students in their state.

  • birgerjohansson

    So will it be OK to pray to Odin, Enlil and Osiris?