Klingenschmitt Tries Really Hard to Think

Gordon Klingenschmitt put on his thinking cap and tried really, really hard to come up with a coherent response to an Arkansas judge overturning that state’s ban on same-sex marriage. The results are pretty much what you might expect: abject failure.

Saying that since both state governments and the federal government are subject to God’s higher law, “it really doesn’t matter what the state constitution says” because gay marriage “is still illegal in the eyes of God.”

The same goes for the federal government, Kilngenschmitt said, declaring that no judge can ever “overrule Jesus Christ.”

“God defines marriage,” he concluded. “It doesn’t matter what our human opinions are.”

Great. So isn’t it about time you shut up and stopped freaking out over court decisions like this? I mean, if they don’t matter and God decides it all in the end, why not just shut up and let him do that?

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  • Larry

    God decides it all in the end, why not just shut up and let him do that?

    But he did, Ed. God touched the judge with his noodly appendage and said “go forth and overturn the laws that prevent my children from marrying.” As the old joke goes “God does answer every prayer. Its just that you don’t often get the answer you want.”

  • dingojack

    “Fruity” Gordo opined that ‘no judge can ever “overrule Jesus Christ.”’ —

    and what did Jesus have to say about homosexuality, specifically, “Fruity”?


  • vilstef

    Because people who are scolds and/or religiously insane never shut up or chill out.

  • sh3baproject

    thinking cap? no thats an insanity hat. i warned him not to wear it.

  • John Pieret

    Actually, I suspect a large part of the attraction of religion is that people like Klingenschmitt don’t have to think.

  • http://www.thelosersleague.com theschwa

    “no judge can ever “overrule Jesus Christ.””

    Prosecutor: Blessed are the war-makers

    Jesus: Objection!

    Judge: Sustained.

    OMG! Gordo was right!!

  • StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    If Jesus can override all judges how come he lost his court cases and got sentenced to death?

  • Moon Jaguar

    God, can I give you some feedback?

    You give away a lot of Your power by relying on assholes like Gordo and your ghost-written book to communicate for you. Have You considered simply appearing in every human mind simultaneously and defining marriage once and for all? We can take a clear and direct message. Honest.

    And after that, please explain why we can’t eat oysters.

  • Loqi

    His thinking cap wouldn’t happen to be one of those multi-colored beanies with the propeller on top, would it?

  • arakasi

    I see that Klingenschmitt is keeping a fairly low cap on the amount of thinking that he does

  • 12ab

    Klingenschmitt can “think” only in terms of “spin,” “manipulation,” and fabrication of non-existent absolutes that he advances as concrete facts. His style always has been and continues to be that of beginning with his own prejudicial “pretext” and then placing it within a context that supports whatever outcome he has predetermined to be the truth.

    Never – not even once – has he ever acknowledged any error or fault in any of his positions. When truth and facts prove him wrong he simply doubles up on the spinning and manipulation. I often wonder what roles paranoia and schizophrenia might play in scenarios such as these? Ultimately, what does one say to someone who doesn’t understand the difference between “the law of the land” and “the rule of Jesus Christ?”

  • a_ray_in_dilbert_space

    “Klingenschmitt Tries Really Hard to Think”

    Wow! I thought I smelled smoke!

  • a_ray_in_dilbert_space


    No, it’s made of tinfoil.

  • dingojack

    Surely Gordo’s ‘thinking’ cap would be a condom.


  • Childermass

    Luckily, even though God overrules any court He does have a proven record of changing his mind again and again.

  • thebookofdave

    If Jesus can override all judges how come he lost his court cases and got sentenced to death?

    His case was heard posthumously by a higher court, StevoR. On appeal the sentence was reduced to time served. He never beat the immigration rap, though, and was immediately deported.

    That same higher court is just waiting for Wright v Arkansas and similar cases to work their way through the system all the way up to SCOTUS, before issuing cert to hear and overturn the decision. Then we’ll finally see the Rule of Gawd restored. Just you wait. Then wait awhile longer.