God Told Carson to Talk About Flat Tax

You know how you can tell when someone is planning to run for president for the Republican party? When they start claiming that they have a direct line to God, who tells them what to think and say. Ben Carson says God told him to advocate a flat tax at what was supposed to be an a-political prayer breakfast.

And although the plan is almost exclusively supported by conservatives, Carson told CBN’s Pat Robertson on Wednesday that “the Lord” told him to push for it at the non-partisan prayer breakfast.

“I realized that God probably had something special he wanted me to say,” Carson explained. “But I didn’t know what it was until the morning of the prayer breakfast.”

“After a while of wrestling with it, I just said, I’m leaving it alone, the Lord will tell me what to say,” he continued. “And that morning, it was so clear in my mind what I was supposed to say.”

Oh of course it was. You might want to bear in mind how the Republican candidates in the last election who claimed to talk to God — Santorum, Bachmann, Perry, Cain, even Gingrich — did. It wasn’t good.

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  • http://www.holytape.etsy.com holytape

    When will these people ever realize that God is the ultimate troll. God does have a special plan for them — that is to be humiliated in front of the nation. Soon Jesus himself will descend to earth only to pants Rick Perry on national television.

  • eric

    He interjects his political opinions into a non-political event, and does not even have the courage to take personal responsibility for choosing to do it. Classy.

  • Larry

    Remember when people who heard voices in their heads were committed to facilities where they could receive treatment or, at least, keep them off the streets where they couldn’t harm any one.

    Now, the GOP seems to make them presidential candidates.

  • Mr Ed

    Ever walk into a room and see someone you don’t really know trying to get you attention only to find they were waving at the person behind you. Maybe God is trying to get some unassuming, competent, middle of the road person to run but every theocrat just assumes God would only be talking to them.

  • thebookofdave

    The Lord is full of surprises. I bet he appeared to Ben Carson in a burning toast.

  • fmitchell

    So, in summary: God wants us to restrict what people may do with their genitalia, to eliminate fact-based teaching about the history of life or aforesaid genitalia, and to create the illusion that rich people are paying their fair share of taxes even though proportionally speaking a flat tax would be chump change for the 1%. (Even more so if they could fire the majority of their tax accountants and keep all their assets liquid.)

    The creator of a cosmos at least 93 billion light-years across has some very peculiar obsessions.

  • D. C. Sessions

    People, people. You’re forgetting all that we’ve leaned here.

    I’m quite sure that God did, in fact, tell not only Carson but all of those other candidates to run for office, just as He has stricken us with disasters to punish us for our sins. Of course, we know how his aim is, so ….

  • matty1

    @6 Who was it defined fundamentalism as “the belief that there is an all powerful universe spanning entity with a deep and abiding interest in your genitals”?

  • eric

    proportionally speaking a flat tax would be chump change for the 1%.

    Given that our tax system is downright regressive in many ways, flattening parts of it would actually be an improvement. Consider the Alternative Minimum Tax. That is, in essence, a type of flat tax, and AFAIK Republicans vociferously oppose it, precisely because it is flat and thus has few loopholes.

    Remember, these guys use lawyers and loopholes to pay tax rates in the 5-15% range. A real, honest flat tax up around 20% (which is where it would have to be to maintain revenue), with the same rate being applied to income and investments, would kill them. They don’t want that. They talk the flat tax talk as a means of passing loopholes for themselves, but I bet very few wealthy people would actually want a flat tax that did not contain any loopholes they could exploit.

  • D. C. Sessions

    They talk the flat tax talk as a means of passing loopholes for themselves, but I bet very few wealthy people would actually want a flat tax that did not contain any loopholes they could exploit.

    Those who forget the lessons of 1986 are doomed to repeat them.

    The 1986 tax reforms were one of the most serious cleanups in the history of the Internal Revenue Code. In return for a reduction of tax rates, Congress took a bulldozer to the enormous undergrowth of exemptions, exclusions, credits, etc. (Anyone heard proposals recently to do something similar?)

    Ten years later there were, if anything, more of those special favors in the Code, but the rates were still low. Especially at the top.

    That’s the way the system works: big headlines for “tax simplification” (read: fewer brackets, which aren’t a problem for anyone but which provide cover for lowering top rates) and elimination of some high-profile tax expenditures. Then, once the cheering stops, Congress quietly puts all of the goodies back in (slowly or not, as long as it doesn’t make the news.)

    If we got a “flat tax” with no fine print, you can bet your sweet ass that before the next election there will be at a minimum several thousand pages of fine print in the Code that nobody but tax wonks and multimillionaires ever heard about.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Look, the USA has a fair tax system. It just happens to be fairer for some than others. Besides, even if the so-called “rich” pay a so-called “lower real percentage” to taxes, the Moochers get all that those free Food Stamps, so, if anything, the Poors are getting the better end of the bargain.

    In short, the only way to make the tax system, in which the so-called “rich” pay confiscatory rates, fair is to insitute a Flat Tax with no exemptions (YMMV). And think of how much more of your own money will go back in your pocket when we also cut the Capital Gains tax to zero and abolish the Death Tax!

    So, you see, us Job Creators® only have your best interests at heart.

  • busterggi

    No, god was talking about a frat tax not a flat tax. Yahweh’s speech impediment has caused misunderstandings forever.

  • abb3w
  • coffeehound


    I could almost forgive the rest of God’s assholery for this.


  • greg1466

    You have to wonder how many millennia it’s going to take for God to realize that these morons can’t get his message right and actually start speaking for himself…