Kinchlow Thinks Hawaii Registers Religious Adherents

Ben Kinchlow’s latest Worldnetdaily column asks the question everyone wants answered: “What’s wrong with Obama’s priorities?” It’s the usual mishmash of false assumptions and bullshit, but it ends with this staggeringly stupid few paragraphs:

Finally, the first words, at the White House announcement, by the father of Sgt. Bergdahl were in Arabic: “bism allah alrahman alraheem“ (“in the name of Allah the most gracious and most merciful” – the opening words of every chapter of the Quran, except one).

Didn’t the president know enough Arabic, and the Quran, to know that? I read somewhere that the president of the United States, Barack Hussein Obama II, was registered as a Muslim in Hawaii, was taught by Muslim teachers during two-hour weekly religion classes and in a speech in Egypt referred to “the Azan as one of the prettiest sounds on earth at sunset,” and said in his book, “Audacity of Hope,” “I will stand with the Muslims should the political winds shift in an ugly direction” (Page 261, paperback edition).

According to Clare Lopez, a former CIA operations officer, a strategic policy and intelligence expert with focus on Middle East national defense, WMD and counter terrorism issues, Bergdahl, “By uttering these words on the grounds, sanctified the White House and claimed it for Islam.” She continued, “There is no question but POTUS knows this.”

Jesus H. Christ on a pogo stick. First of all, he “read somewhere” that Obama was “registered as a Muslim in Hawaii”? Does he think Hawaii registers people by religion? And does he think that Obama should have told Beau Bergdahl’s parents what they can and can’t say? And this idea that the White House is now “claimed for Islam” is just fucking stupid. Oh, and there’s that completely out-of-context quote, which Kinchlow no doubt got from a forwarded email rather than from the original source. Here is what Obama actually said in that book:

Of course, not all my conversations in immigrant communities follow this easy pattern. In the wake of 9/11, my meetings with Arab and Pakistani Americans, for example, have a more urgent quality, for the stories of detentions and FBI questioning and hard stares from neighbors have shaken their sense of security and belonging. They have been reminded that the history of immigration in this country has a dark underbelly; they need specific assurances that their citizenship really means something, that America has learned the right lessons from the Japanese internments during World War II, and that I will stand with them should the political winds shift in an ugly direction.

But lying assholes like Kinchlow take this perfectly reasonable statement that we should protect Muslims against unjust actions and bigotry and turn it into “he hates America and is on the side of Muslims!” But remember, he is the voice of morality and lying for Jesus is perfectly fine.

About Ed Brayton

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. He has appeared on the Rachel Maddow Show and the Thom Hartmann Show, and is almost certain that he is the only person ever to make fun of Chuck Norris on C-SPAN.

  • Chiroptera

    … in a speech in Egypt referred to “the Azan as one of the prettiest sounds on earth at sunset….”

    If Obama really said that, then I can sympathize. I always enjoyed listening to the Adhan when I woke up first thing in the morning.

    “By uttering these words on the grounds, sanctified the White House and claimed it for Islam.”

    Uh oh! Maybe the Christianists can claim it back by dropping a big rock with the ten commandments on the lawn!

  • sabrekgb

    A White House guest could scream “I claim this building for Islam!” at the top of his lungs and it still wouldn’t…claim that building for Islam. Words, while important, ain’t magic like that.

  • John Pieret

    I suppose there might be some form out there, like a school registration, that had an entry for “religion” and maybe Obama’s parents filled in “Muslim” but that means about as much as if they filled an entry on “race” with “Caucasian.”

    And this idea that the White House is now “claimed for Islam” is just fucking stupid.

    No, no! The Mooslems have peed on the White House and it’s theirs until Christians can pee on it in such numbers that they take it back.

  • Menyambal

    Indonesia, where Obama lived for a while as a child, does register its own people by religion. We could look up what he checked there, if he had to check anything, and have conniptions about that.

    Yeah, some folks think that words are magic, in a most superstitious way. As Jon Stewart points out, that magical phrase had been uttered by George Bush’s guests many a time.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    ,blockquote>But lying assholes like Kinchlow take this perfectly reasonable statement that we should protect Muslims against unjust actions and bigotry and turn it into “he hates America and is on the side of Muslims!”

    “REASONABLE”?! YOU DO KNOW THAT THE MUSLINS HATE AMERICA AND FREEDOM AND AMERICA RIGHT?!!! IF THEYRE SO GREAT THEN WHY DO THEY NEED PROTECTION?!!!

  • Jordan Genso

    That’s funny. I’ve now also

    read somewhere that the president of the United States, Barack Hussein Obama II, was registered as a Muslim in Hawaii, was taught by Muslim teachers…

    I guess that means I’m completely absolved from any moral judgment if I repeat it to others as though it is true.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    THEY CLAIM THE “WHITE” HOUSE WITH THEIR MAGIC INCANTATION AND SUDDENLY IM HITTING THE SUBMIT COMMENT BUTTON INSTEAD OF PREVIEW!!! COINCIDENSE?! I THINK NOT!!!

  • Larry

    Uh oh! Maybe the Christianists can claim it back by dropping a big rock with the ten commandments on the lawn!

    Or burn a cross on the White House lawn as is their wont.

  • yoav

    Too late Obama, it seem like the white house (and the capitol) have already been under the moozlim imperius curse for years.

  • eric

    “By uttering these words on the grounds, sanctified the White House and claimed it for Islam.” She continued, “There is no question but POTUS knows this.”

    John Stewart did a nice montage of all the visitors to the WH saying this, with various presidents (notably Bush) looking on. Evidently, it’s kind of a rote part of a speech by any muslim; kinda like “I’d like to start by thanking the Academy…”

  • Randomfactor

    Mooslems have peed on the White House

    Dammit!

    That White House really tied the capital together!

  • Big Boppa

    EXPECTO BLOGNOSTRUM!!!!!

    There. I’ve now claimed FreethoughtBlogs for my own very own self. Ed, I’ll let you know where to send my checks in a later post….if I ever get around to it.

  • http://dontlinkmebro F [i’m not here, i’m gone]

    Well, there are only like a thousand Christian morons who can walk right in there and claim it right back for Christianity with their maaaagical incantations.

  • dugglebogey

    It’s like how you have to invite a vampire into your house, otherwise he can’t come in.

  • dan4

    “…that completely out-of-context-quote…”

    Even out of context, the quote’s not that big of a deal. Not sure why the eight zillion conservatives/Republicans who quote it as if it’s some damning indictment against Obama think it is.

  • lorn

    “Didn’t the president know enough Arabic, and the Quran, to know that?”

    If he did you would use it as evidence tat he is a Muslim. If he doesn’t then he is still a Muslim, but under deep cover, or stupid, or both.

    Has Obama stopped beating his wife?

  • dingojack

    So saith the Kinch:

    Finally, the first words, at the White House announcement, by the father of Sgt. Bergdahl were in Arabic: “bism allah alrahman alraheem“ (“in the name of Allah the most gracious and most merciful” – the opening words of every chapter of the Quran, except one

    Didn’t the president know enough Arabic, and the Quran, to know that?). ”

    How do you know that Kinch?

    Hmmmm….. I smell secret Mooslim.

    :) Dingo.

  • matty1

    I read somewhere that Ben Kinchlow is an idiot. Of course it was in this very comment but I read it as well as writing it. That makes it true right?

  • Christoph Burschka

    I read somewhere that

  • busterggi

    I wrote it, I read it, I believe it,

  • Dave, ex-Kwisatz Haderach

    Mooslems have peed on the White House

    Dammit!

    That White House really tied the capital together!

    Randomfactor, you owe me a new keyboard. This one has just had coffee sprayed all over it.

  • StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    Barack Hussein Obama II, was registered as a Muslim in Hawaii, was taught by Muslim teachers during two-hour weekly religion classes and in a speech in Egypt referred to “the Azan as one of the prettiest sounds on earth at sunset,” – Ben Kinchlow

    Well I wonder what Ben Kinchlow would make of this blog column :

    http://www.samharris.org/blog/item/islam-and-the-misuses-of-ecstasy

    item by famed atheist and accused “islamophobe” Sam Harris? That make him Muslim too?

  • teawithbertrand

    @3

    I just wish they hadn’t peed on the rug. It really tied the room together.

  • freehand

    matty1: I read somewhere that Ben Kinchlow is an idiot. Of course it was in this very comment but I read it as well as writing it. That makes it true right?

    .

    My philosophy professor recounted how he had paused in his education in the late sixties and got drafted and sent to ‘Nam. His CO found out he was literate (erudite, even) and was told to write the daily camp report – but he wasn’t allowed to read it, because he didn’t have the security clearance needed. I didn’t think to ask him how that affected its veracity.