Cummins Depressed by Low Turnout at March for Marriage

While the National Organization for Marriage, the Washington Times and other Christian right “news” outlets pretend that there were 10,000 people at the March for Marriage last week, Pastor Dan Cummins admits there were a fraction of that number, which tells him that America is doomed.

The National Organization for Marriage Rally (NOM), organized by Brian Brown on June 19, was left somewhat standing in the lurch, literally, on the lawn of the National Mall, as only a handful of the expected 10,000 “betrothed” bothered to make it to the church on time to march down the aisle, actually Constitution Avenue, kneel and pray outside the Supreme Court that marriage’s crumbling vestiges remain intact. Was it a case of a runaway bride?

Reports put the turnout on the Capitol’s west-side lawn at 2,000. This apparent lack of support for nuptial bliss only fuels those who say marriage equality is becoming accepted by society and the church at large – thus concluding, wrongfully in my opinion, that same-sex marriage should be legalized in all 50 states…

The Mall should have been packed all the way to the Washington Monument with biblical marriage supporters. Where were they?…

Why is the preservation of biblical marriage so important to our culture? Why is the left, those left at the rapture, desperately attempting to destroy it? Marriage is a picture of Christ and His church. It portrays the kingdom of God and his righteousness revealed on earth. That’s why Satan hates marriage.

Yes, yes, yes. I’m sure now God will punish us (though the fact that it stormed the morning of the March for Marriage doesn’t seem to have sent any messages). Earthquakes, hurricanes, plagues of locusts. Or maybe Cummins and all the other bigots are just plain full of shit. My money is on that option.

POPULAR AT PATHEOS Nonreligious
What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • dogmeat

    Alabama and Kansas better watch out. Their invisible sky fairy has shitting aim you know.

  • dogmeat

    *chuckle* “Shitting aim… amusing typo…

  • Moggie

    Marriage is a picture of Christ and His church.

    Though not of Christ and his wife. Why is that?

  • raven

    Dan Cummins admits there were a fraction of that number, which tells him that America is doomed.

    Hopefully, his America is doomed. The Oogedy Boogedy fundie xian version which never existed except in the south.

    Why is the preservation of biblical marriage so important to our culture?

    It’s not. Biblical marriage is between one man and however many wives he can chase down and as many sex slaves as he can afford. Both of which have been illegal for over a century.

    Marriage is a picture of Christ and His church. It portrays the kingdom of God and his righteousness revealed on earth.

    This is senseless gibberish. BTW, the appointed by god leader of half the xians, the Pope and his priests aren’t married!!! Neither were jesus, god, the holy spook, or the disciples.

  • Menyambal

    That is amusing.

    Say, Ed, the format of this blog does not show up as blockquotes on my tablet. I cannot see any difference at all in the paragraphs that quote folks and the stuff written by the blogger. Aside from the quality of the prose. (I don’t care for the new look, really, but that blockquote stuff is the real problem.)

  • http://festeringscabofrealityblogspot.com fifthdentist

    Why doesn’t their petulant, toddler-tempered god just get it over with already? JC promised he would be back while some of those who were listening to him were still alive. So where are these 2,000-year-old people?

    Personally, I think that cross on the Goldfish snack cracker is the best he can do these days.

  • John Pieret

    Ed, you missed this amusing part. Riffing on the Parable of the Ten Virgins Cummins says this:

    But at midnight there was a cry made! That means somebody was awake at midnight. Someone knew the bridegroom was coming and had set their alarm clock to get up in the middle of the night! Who was it? It was the eunuch, the most trusted servant whose job was to get the virgins to the church on time. The eunuch made the midnight cry, “Go ye out to meet him.”

    Thank God for the eunuchs, the Master’s most trusted ministers, who are crying, shouting in this present darkness regardless of the size of the crowd. Keep shouting, Brian Brown, to the top of your lungs; keep crying out in this dark night, Tony Perkins, because Jesus said “then all those virgins arose” – the cool girls and the ditty-wittys – they all woke up once they heard the shout!

    So the most faithful advocates for heterosexual marriage are all eunuchs? No wonder you’re losing!

    Read more at http://www.wnd.com/2014/06/march-for-marriage-case-of-a-runaway-bride/#8EM6u6qMKY2LrwGM.99

  • Alverant

    I thought the biblical version of marriage involved giving money to the bride’s owner I mean father. I don’t think America wants to go back to that. I hope his version of America is doomed so the real America can move forward.

  • sinned34

    Leftists hate marriage so much that they want everybody to be able to get married!

    I know that I love craft beer and think everybody should be able to enjoy it, and the best way to share it with people is to tell people that they have to drink it the exact same way I do (from a keg into a 1L room-temperature glass stein that was washed with proper beer glass detergent), or else they’re not allowed to have any at all.

  • chilidog99

    The best estimate that I saw put the crowd at 1,500.

    Meanwhile the pride festival in Columbus Ohio drew 300,000

    As Grand Marshal George Takai would say: “Oh, my!”

  • http://pandarogue.blogspot.com Kevin, Youhao Huo Mao

    Satan hates marriage, yet it’s the supposedly unbiblical who want more people to get married.

  • raven

    giving money to the bride’s owner I mean father. I don’t think America wants to go back to that.

    Probably not.

    We can’t afford it any more!!!

    Between the GOP and 4.5 decades of growing economic inequality, the average American is fighting and losing the battle to remain solvent.

    If people had to buy their wives, a huge number wouldn’t get married. And the surplus would be owned by…the Koch brothers and other oligarches. Solomon, after all, had 700 wives, which means 699 men went without.

  • anubisprime

    From Ed’s link…

    Despite months of emails, despite promises of huge attendance, and despite free busses to protectors of the faith from New York City, NOM’s anti-gay hate march today was able to get at most about 2,000 supporters of “traditional marriage” to “March for Marriage.”

    After all the righteous foaming at the mouth, gay hatred and boasting that lasted several months intense media bombardment…2000 cretins!

    2,000 people attended a rally in Washington, D.C., that the National Organization for Marriage, the nation’s No. 1 anti-gay marriage organization – funded by major religious institutions – has been promoting daily for months.

    2000 cretins…that is about it…those are the dedicated bigots, those precious few, that allow NOM to function as a ‘popular’ movement, their god must be so proud of their ridiculousness, and happy that he has instilled such hateful ignorance and rancid opinions in his followers.

    2,000 people attended a rally in Washington, D.C., that headlined the archbishop of San Francisco, tea party Republican heroes Rick Santorum, Mike Huckabee, and Congressman Tim Huelskamp, along with a plethora of anti-gay religious leaders, like Bishop Harry Jackson.

    And not one of them was able to pray up a demonstration worth its name!

    2000 cretins…what a hoot!

  • http://www.facebook.com/jason.criley jason the cripple

    “Marriage is a picture of Christ and His church.”

    If that were true, shouldn’t you be FOR gay marriage seeing as the church is run exclusively by men?

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    …crumbling vestiges…

    Oh no! Those are the worst kind of vestiges!

  • Trebuchet

    To be fair, even this attendance puts them about an order of magnitude above Operation American Spring.

  • dobby

    The best comment on their little hate fest was Reason Magazine accidentally calling it “The March on Marriage”:

    http://reason.com/blog/2014/06/24/march-on-marriage-epitomized-the-dying-t

  • cptdoom

    Oh no! Those are the worst kind of vestiges!

    Actually, they still taste okay if you dip them in a little ranch dressing.

    The best estimate that I saw put the crowd at 1,500.

    Meanwhile the pride festival in Columbus Ohio drew 300,000

    As Grand Marshal George Takai would say: “Oh, my!”

    And at least half that number headed to Dupont Circle yesterday to watch the Germany-USA World Cup Match. If you can barely rival the crowd for a televised soccer match….

  • whheydt

    Re: dogmeat @ #1…

    No…Kansas is safe. They’re in 10th Circuit territory. As soon as the appeals fail (one way or another), SSM will come to Kansas.

  • D. C. Sessions

    By European standards, if you can get half as many people for a demonstration as for a football game the revolution is already putting a transition team in place.

  • http://www.pixelated-reality.com Alareth

    Biblical marriage is a contract between a man and a woman’s father.

  • D. C. Sessions

    By European standards, if you can get half as many people for a demonstration as for a World Cup game the revolution is already putting a transition team in place.

  • D. C. Sessions

    Grrr — refresh didn’t.

  • hexidecima

    oh noes. Satan hates my marriage (happily married for 25 years this November). Alas, it seems the only ones who hate my marriage is the twits who want to pretend that only marriages that they approve of are “real”.

    Let me say, as a woman married to a man, that I wish everyone to have what we have if they want it. it takes a selfish jackass to want to keep such things for themselves.

  • StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    @21. Alareth : “Biblical marriage is a contract between a man and a woman’s father.”

    Actually as Betty Bowers explains here :

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFkeKKszXTw

    That covers a bit more than just that.

  • dingojack

    Bride-price is rarer, but not unknown.

    Dingo

  • caseloweraz

    Chilidog99: As Grand Marshal George Takai would say: “Oh, my!”

    Nit: It’s George Takei. The pronunciation is what gives me trouble. I’m always saying or thinking “Jorj Ta-kay” when it should be “Jorj Tak-aye.”

  • dugglebogey

    Biblical marriage?

    Okay, I guess people should be able to marry a bible. Seems like a lot of people have, even though they don’t understand it at all.

  • D. C. Sessions

    I guess people should be able to marry a bible. Seems like a lot of people have, even though they don’t understand it at all.

    That would explain all the stains you find in the old ones.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1017276335 Strewth

    Free busses? I hope those were chaste, man-woman busses. Or does he mean buses?

  • arakasi

    caseloweraz @ 27 – Your subconscious is actually correct there. Takei pronounces his name to rhyme with “OK” and “gay”. So it’s OK to be Takei

  • http://polrant@blogspot.com democommie

    “So where are these 2,000-year-old people?”

    Mel Brooks is the last of his race.

    …crumbling vestiges…

    Oh no! Those are the worst kind of vestiges!”

    I’m not sure that’s right. I had a salad recently, at a trendy new eatery and when I asked for crumbled Maytag Bleu, the server said that they were no longer serving that product because they had substituted crumbled vestiges for it and customer satisfaction was at an all time high.

    “Solomon, after all, had 700 wives, which means 699 men went without.”

    A fair number of us are just fine with that.