Bryan Fischer joins the Christian right chorus of people freaking out because a San Francisco Burger King started wrapping its whoppers in rainbow-colored paper. This is a really big deal, you see, and if they don’t stop it here the good people of Iowa might have to see that paper too.
On today’s radio program, Bryan Fischer said that the American Family Association is thinking about issuing an “action alert” about it out of concern that “if this isn’t bottled up in San Francisco, this kind of nonsense, then it’s going to be spreading across the entire fruited plain and you’re going to be going to your Burger King in Des Moines, Iowa and you’re going to have a rainbow color wrapper for your Whopper.”
OMG, no! Rainbow-colored wrappers in Iowa! That will turn everyone gay! Run!
On top of that, Fischer just thinks the entire thing is a disastrous marketing idea because “when people sit down to eat a hamburger, the last thing they want to be thinking about is two guys having sex.”
Okay, here’s the deal: If seeing rainbow-colored wrappers makes you think about guys having sex, you might just be a tad bit obsessed with gay sex. Like more obsessed with it than any gay person on earth.