The Illuminati and the Malaysian Jet

A Malaysian jetliner was shot down over the Ukraine on Thursday. Alex Jones, of course, immediately declared it to be a false flag operation. The Boston Globe has a rundown of some of the whackier conspiracy theories. My favorite is that the Illuminati shot it down.

The human mind is programmed to find patterns in the world, but conspiracy theorists can often take this tendency to the next level. In this particular incident, many have seized on the date and flight’s relation to the number 7 (every conspirators’ favorite number).

“I followed the previous Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370 (exhaustively) and concluded that it must’ve been aliens; one of the first conspiracy theories to surface, and until we hear otherwise I’m sticking with it,” a writer with IlluminatiWatcher.com writes. “In that MH370 conspiracy theories post I referenced the fact that the alleged Illuminati might have been involved due to the number 777 being tied in. You’ll notice that this MH17 was also a Boeing 777.”

And it continues:

illuminati

I laughed for 7 minutes straight.

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About Ed Brayton

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. He has appeared on the Rachel Maddow Show and the Thom Hartmann Show, and is almost certain that he is the only person ever to make fun of Chuck Norris on C-SPAN.

  • raven

    Ironically, we don’t know who shot that plane down.

    All sides have a strong interest in blaming someone else for political and other reasons.

    An even more unanswerable question is, what was that Malaysian plane doing flying over a war zone anyway?

    The media says this isn’t unusual. Maybe so, but a lot of good that did them. It turned out to be a spectacularly bad idea.

  • Mr Ed

    I read from a reliable source that the pilot was confused after drinking fluoridated water and he might have hit the auto destruct on the chemtrail tanks. The whole seven thing is just a way of distracting people from the faked moon landing.

  • Doug Little

    My favorite is that the Illuminati shot it down.

    With thy holy BUK missile system.

  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    My theory is that it was done by a disgruntled female Thor

  • raven

    It was illegal immigrant children from Honduras.

  • lldayo

    Obama shot the plane down with a thermite laser built from clues hidden within his REAL birth certificate that he kept hidden in a cabinet marked Gay Muslim Agenda located in his satanic bunker room. The laser was fired during Benghazi from the IRS, both of which were used to cover up the whole thing and the number 7 was used to distract from the real conspiracy.

  • colnago80

    It was Skull and Bones I tell ya.

  • sh3baproject

    it waz teh evil homosexual agenda that turnz ur kids gay by boardwayz evilz music.

  • dingojack

    According to the FoAW there are 1204* Boeing 777 variants in operation as of 2014. They have been (as of July 2014) 11 incidents and accidents involving 777′s.

    Dingo

    ——–

    * 1+2+0+4 = 7 — oooooh spooooky. @@

  • Reginald Selkirk

    According to the FoAW there are 1204* Boeing 777 variants in operation as of 2014

    That’s pretty amazing, as according to Wikipedia, a total of 1212 Boeing 777s have been built (through June 2014). So I guess almost every one is custom built as a separate “variant.”

  • http://www.holytape.etsy.com holytape

    Weird Al song is a tribute to Alex Jones

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-0TEJMJOhk

  • reddiaperbaby1942

    Ildayo # 8: I hope you don’t mind, I thought your post was so brilliant (summing up all the lunacies in one beautiful package), I posted it at the Obama Conspiracy Theories website. run by Doc Conspiracy. They enjoy this kind of thing.

    Actually you forgot one: he shot down the plane to distract us from the crisis on the southern border, the hordes of filthy, lice-ridden, leprosy-infected gang-members descending on us, brought here by Obama to create more Democratic voters and force all god-fearing Christian Americans to turn homosexual or be interned in FEMA camps.

  • Nick Gotts

    An even more unanswerable question is, what was that Malaysian plane doing flying over a war zone anyway? – raven@1

    That’s perfectly answerable: the shorter the route, the lower the cost. Many, but not all, airlines had rerouted away from eastern Ukraine before this crash. Malaysian Airlines was already in considerable financial trouble, largely owing to the earlier disappearance of one of their 777s. They took a risk, which they undoubtedly thought was very low.

  • lldayo

    @reddiaperbaby1942 – No problem with using it! However, I was post number 6.

    As for the second part of your post, now you’re just being ridiculous.

  • dingojack

    reddiaperbaby1942 – what, no Lizard People? How disappointing.
    :) Dingo

  • busterggi

    No, its simple – the jet was shot down by the CIA to distract from the illegal immigration crisis which is a diversion from the Syria/Iraq violence which is a distraction from Benghazi which was orchestrated to counteract the IRS scandal which was done to draw attention away from Fast and Furious which was enacted to cover-up the failure of the ACA which was only passed to distract from high unemployment from the ’08 crash.

    No matter, all you really need to know is that Obama planned it all because he’s black & hates Jesus.

  • Mobius

    The Trilateral Commission, with the aid of the Gnomes of Zurich, will attempt to take over the Orbital Mind Control Laser.

  • busterggi

    Hah! The Evil Geniuses for a Better Tomorrow and Boy Sprouts will stop them!

  • http://timgueguen.blogspot.com timgueguen

    Joseph Farrah asked his buddy Vladdy Putin to shoot the plane down so he and his buddies can push Obama conspiracy theory books on WND.

  • magistramarla

    Since there were scientists headed for an AIDS conference on board, I’ve been waiting to see Pat Robertson or one of the other religious wingnuts blame them for the flight being doomed.

  • http://www.WorldTradeFederation.org SQB

    Planes fly over warzones on a daily basis. _Usually_ the weapons used by insurgents don’t reach that high; the weapons that do are _usually_ operated by trained personnel that can tell the difference between a civilian and a military plane.

     

    The airspace was closed below FL320 (32,000 ft) and MH17 was flying above it. Some airlines chose to divert but the majority didn’t. An Airbus A380 was in the vicinity and would have made for an even larger number of casualties.

    As stated by Malaysia Airlines, on their website:

    ON THE FLIGHT PATH:

    On the matter of MH17’s flight path, I would like to refer to recent reported comments by officials from Eurocontrol, the body which approves European flight paths under ICAO rules.

    According to the Wall Street Journal, the officials stated that some 400 commercial flights, including 150 international flights crossed eastern Ukraine daily before the crash. Officials from Eurocontrol also stated that in the two days before the incident, 75 different airlines flew the same route as MH17.

    MH17’s flight path was a busy major airway, like a highway in the sky. It followed a route which was set out by the international aviation authorities, approved by Eurocontrol, and used by hundreds of other aircraft. It flew at an altitude set, and deemed safe, by the local air traffic control. And it never strayed into restricted airspace.

    The flight and its operators followed the rules. But on the ground, the rules of war were broken. In an unacceptable act of aggression, it appears that MH17 was shot down; its passengers and crew killed by a missile.

  • http://motherwell.livejournal.com/ Raging Bee

    Alex Jones, of course, immediately declared it to be a false flag operation.

    Lucky for him that’s the right-wing buzzword du jour. Just imagine how much more difficult it would have been to call it “subornation to false muster.”

  • http://motherwell.livejournal.com/ Raging Bee

    Whatever happened to the good old days when seven was considered a LUCKY number? Bogus numerology sure has gone downhill recently…

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