What You Get on Sarah Palin TV

Bob Cesca is watching Sarah Palin TV so you and I don’t have to and what he’s finding is completely predictable: Junior high school-level attempts to be funny, lies and falsehoods, rank ignorance. In other words, she knows exactly what her target audience wants. This is from a response video she did to a talk given by Elizabeth Warren.

1) Words are tough. Before her responses even began, Palin referred to Warren’s “tenets” as Warren’s “tenants.” I’m not sure if Warren owns rental properties, but her list had nothing to do with any would-be “tenants.”

That’s because she’s a Jane six-pack, a woman of the people, and she has no need for the lamestream media and Hollywood liberals and their elitist English language.

2) Tyrants on the internets. In response to Warren’s position in support of net neutrality, Palin said she doesn’t want the internet to be censored by “the world’s tyrants.” Then she blamed President Obama for handing over domain names to “authoritarian regimes like Russia and China.” This is a lie. Obama did no such thing. When the Internet Corporate for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN) was subcontracted to handle IP addresses in 1998, the intention was to eventually relinquish that function to the international community, and ICANN’s contract is due to expire in 2015. Furthermore, the U.S. has never unilaterally “controlled” the internet in the first place. Oh, almost forgot. In an earlier item in the video, Palin criticized government bureaucracy, but she clearly supports the bureaucratic management of domain names. Which is it?

It’s both, of course. Every single claim is completely isolated from every other claim, so there’s no such thing as a contradiction.

5) Palin Doesn’t Understand the First Amendment. Again. In a section about tolerance, Palin continued by chastising the left for trying to silence and intimidate people like her, citing “free speech” as a bulwark against it. Palin is too ignorant to understand this, but the Constitution doesn’t prohibit citizens from protesting offensive or racist speech. It only forbids the government from doing so. Palin said, “We believe the answer to free speech that you find offensive… is more free speech!” But doesn’t that include the freedom to speak out against racist crackpots like Ted Nugent? She’s been flummoxed by this one for years now.

There’s a shock. And then there’s this video clip where she tries to be funny. Warning: It’s painful.

httpv://youtu.be/y5ogJjmgpLM

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • colnago80

    Ole Sarah is about as humorous as AIDS.

  • raven

    It’s not all bad.

    Palin does not benefit from exposure. The more people see, the less there is to bother taking seriously. And the more people wonder, “What was McCain thinking anyway?”

  • http://denkeensechtna.blogspot.com Deen

    That’s because she’s a Jane six-pack, a woman of the people, and she has no need for the lamestream media and Hollywood liberals and their elitist English language.

    On the other hand, if you want to use folksy language, why use “tenets” at all? Sounds to me like someone trying very hard to sound smarter than they are (and failing when they invariably show they don’t actually know the proper usage).

  • Larry

    The seven circles of hell aren’t enough to consign McCain to for unleashing this nitwit onto the political scene.

  • Alverant

    It’s like seeing anti-immigration signs that say “This is are county speke English!”

  • blf

    My understanding is Giggle-Every-Minute TV — warning: contains nothing but nuts (not the edible kind) — is a paid channel. People are supposed to actually fork over dollars to watch this stuff. I don’t know if getting subtitles, hopefully a translation of whatever she’s saying into English, is available or an extra.

    I shudder to think what is advertised. I don’t know if there is any advertising (yet), but it’s an obvious next step in yet another money-grubbing scam.

  • Michael Heath

    Every single claim is completely isolated from every other claim, so there’s no such thing as a contradiction.

    [Heath bolded]

    A prerequisite for biblical inerrantists.

  • http://composer99.blogspot.ca composer99

    I think in one respect Sarah Palin is a wonder to behold: perhaps the most successfully compartmentalised mind in politics.

    Of course, her competitors are doing their level best to catch up.

  • Doc Bill

    What was McCain thinking?

    He was thinking, ” Hey, hey, Moose Lady, want a walnetto?”

  • Trebuchet

    On the other hand, if you want to use folksy language, why use “tenets” at all? Sounds to me like someone trying very hard to sound smarter than they are (and failing when they invariably show they don’t actually know the proper usage).

    Her writers, who are most likely smarter than she is, put in “tenets”. It didn’t mean anything to her so she said “tenants”. And not the awesome 10th Doctor kind!

  • grumpyoldfart

    Neither the director nor the floor manager seems to have noticed the lights reflecting off her glasses. I guess she hired the cheapest she could get.

  • blf

    That’s it! Palin is one of those humanoid Daleks. It explains her mangled English and desire to exterminate everything, to be replaced with foul monstrosity.

  • halbatross

    Yup, that little video clip was painful.

    Sarah is quite a spectacle. She never ceases to amaze me. I know that she’s a twit, but I just can’t get past the fact that there are enough followers out there to give her the option to keep reinforcing her opportunity to spew words to a huge audience. People pay $10/month to bask in that blathering.

  • congenital cynic

    It boggles the mind that so many Americans wanted to elect this idiot to high office. Disturbing, really. She’s just so obviously stupid. Then, at the opposite end of the scale America has the smart, educated and articulate Rachel Maddow, who will never likely run for office. So sad. I’ve come to the conclusion that the people who should be leaders and policy makers eschew politics because it’s such an ethically compromised occupation that involves far too much dishing of lies, dirt, and innuendo.

    Also, in spite of her idiocy, I used to think that Sarah Palin was a good looking woman, but even her perceived attractiveness has been seriously muted by her incessant moronic utterances.

  • D. C. Sessions

    The seven circles of hell aren’t enough to consign McCain to for unleashing this nitwit onto the political scene.

    It could have been worse. Without her, we might have had President McCain.

  • Hoosier X

    Calling Sarah Palin dumb is a threat to her First Amendment rights!

    (But her numerous slanders and fabrications against “liberals” are perfectly OK. I would call her a hypocrite but that would make me a tyrant.)

  • Loqi

    The way she tries to connect completely disparate ideas (fast food workers go to purgatory to become vegans and thus don’t need living wages) into something funny, combined with her pauses and obvious confusion, makes me wonder if she hired Modus as a scriptwriter, forgot or didn’t understand her lines, and then mangled the fuck out of them.

  • dugglebogey

    You know, you can’t spell “Anal Rash” without Sarah Palin.

  • http://motherwell.livejournal.com/ Raging Bee

    Then she blamed President Obama for handing over domain names to “authoritarian regimes like Russia and China.”

    Oh well, at least she’s not referring to the Internet as a “series of tubes,” like that other Alaskan idiot once did. Baby steps, folks, baby steps…

  • captainoblivious

    This woman needs to be president. Every banana republic needs a funny leader, and she’d be priceless.

  • John Pieret

    What You Get on Sarah Palin TV

    Stupid!

    [Cue the old “This is you brain … this is your brain on drugs” PSA.]

  • http://composer99.blogspot.ca composer99

    It occurs to me that I made an error in my previous comment.

    I wrote:

    Of course, her competitors are doing their level best to catch up.

    … You know what? On second thought, that wasn’t a mistake.

    The people who are rejecting Palin’s embrace of ignorance and hatred are her enemies.

    Her competitors are the people who are also trying to snag dolla dolla billz from her target audience.

  • busterggi

    If Palin can get a network then why can’t there be one for 24/7 reruns of Clutch Cargo?

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Loqi “The way she tries to connect completely disparate ideas…into something funny, combined with her pauses and obvious confusion, makes me wonder if she hired Modus as a scriptwriter…”

    She can’t afford my rates. Plus, I won’t compromise my vision. And also she didn’t ask, you betcha.

  • vmanis1

    I think I would rather watch the `Babies Spit Up’ channel.

  • gerryl

    I watched this video clip yesterday. Then this morning I was scanning the TV page in the newspaper and saw that tonight PBS would be airing “Sarah and Michael Palin.” WHAAAA?!?! Almost upchucked my breakfast until I went back a read more carefully “Sahara with Michael Palin.” A travel program, not the end of civilization as we know it.

  • blf

    PBS would be airing “Sarah and Michael Palin.”

    Is she in competition for “Upper-Class [sic] Twit of the Year”, or just as there for a good fish-slapping dance?

  • eamick

    She clearly didn’t learn much from her time at a real TV station, or anywhere else, for that matter.

  • dingojack

    Aw leave *sigh* Sarah alone –

    she’s just doin’ what comes naturally.

    @@

    Dingo