How Homeopathy Can Cure Ebola

There’s been a meme going around Facebook wondering where the homeopaths are in Africa. Why aren’t they there treating people for Ebola? Luckily, Natural News, the Worldnetdaily of the anti-medical crowd, has the answer and tells us how to treat Ebola using homeopathy. The article is every bit as stupid as you would expect. And how do you treat it? The same way you treat snakebites. What do snakebites have to do with Ebola? Well, the symptoms are the same. Or something.

The symptoms described above for Ebola resemble symptoms produced in healthy persons who took one of the following homeopathic remedies— including symptoms of people who were bitten by the snake concerned:

• Crotalus Horridus (made from rattlesnake venom— fits the Ebola symptoms picture 95%)

• Lachesis (made from venom of the bushmaster snake)

• Bothrops (made from the venom of the yellow viper found on the island of Martinique)

• Phosphorus (made from the element of the same name—relates to internal bleeding)

Thus, the symptom pictures of these remedies (check the Internet) should be examined for a match for the Ebola symptoms seen in a patient. Use the remedy with the closest match to treat the patient.

Wait, you get similar symptoms to Ebola when a healthy person takes one of those homeopathic remedies? And why would similar symptoms mean similar treatment? There are lots and lots of symptoms that could have multiple causes that are wildly different. Just think of how many different conditions can cause, say, gastrointestinal problems. And if you think that every one of the potential causes of those symptoms should be treated the same way, you’d be an idiot.

How to Make Your Own Ebola Remedy

What you need:

1. A face mask and gloves

2. Two bottles (50 ml up to 500 ml glass or plastic bottles) with caps

3. Clean water (mineral or tap water)

4. An Ebola sample: some spit or other disease product, such as blood, from a person infected with Ebola, or who is suspected sick with it. Any small quantity will do, even a pinhead.

5. An alcoholic liquid, such as whisky, brandy, rum, etc.

6. Half an hour of your time.

Procedure:

1. Fill the bottle with water, leaving about 20% space at the top.

2. Place the Ebola sample in the water in the bottle.

3. Close the top of the bottle with the cap.

4. Hold the bottle and strike it hard against a solid surface, such as a large book, 40 times.

5. Pour out the contents of the bottle.

6. Refill the bottle with water (the fluid remaining on the inside surface of the bottle will serve as the next Ebola sample).

7. Repeat steps 3 to 6 a total of 30 times.

Yep, that’ll do it. Here’s my favorite part:

Avoid touching a pill with your fingers as your energy field can neutralize the information carried.

I know, right? It will totally unbalance the frequency of the vibrations and make your chakras all upset.

The scary part? These people are serious. This isn’t a parody.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • blf

    …wondering where the homeopaths are in Africa. Why aren’t they there treating people for Ebola?

    They are massing on the Canadian-USAlienstan border to treat all the Ebola-infected child refugees from the southern Americas.

  • http://Www.metalmischief.com YOB – Ye Olde Blacksmith

    7. Repeat steps 3 to 6 a total of 30 times

    There is another name for this procedure. It’s called “washing a bottle”.

  • D. C. Sessions

    There’s a good bit of doubt regarding homeopathic “cures” for ebola, but there is plentiful evidence that ebola puts a quick end to homeopathy.

  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    “1. Fill the bottle with water….

    5. Pour out the contents …

    6. Refill the bottle with water ….

    7. Repeat steps 3 to 6 a total of 30 times.”

    Back in my chemistry days (way back in the late 60s) that was pretty-much how we got flasks etc. really clean (well we did use distilled rather than tap)

  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    Damn!!

    YOB got there first. Serves me right for letting work get in the way of finishing a post!

  • Moggie

    Any small quantity will do, even a pinhead.

    Speaking of pinheads…

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=666775545 jamesredekop

    And why would similar symptoms mean similar treatment?

    That’s the fundamental rule of homeopathy: the Law of Similars, aka “like cures like”.

    The “logic” works like this:

    – If a healthy person takes substance X, they experience symptom Y;

    – If a healthy person takes less of substance X, they experience a milder symptom Y;

    – Therefore, if a person takes a minuscule amount of substance X, it will cure symptom Y.

    Perfectly sensible!

  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    Oh! and I just remembered: some guy from the gubbmint would come every year and test our distilled water still to see that it wasn’t being used as a …um…still. He used to taste a little of the water! (Probs he was well disappointed it wasn’t ever ethanol).

  • Pieter B, FCD

    The original post has been taken down, because it was too wacky for even Mike Adams. This might be a first. However, we still have the comments:

    ChristyRedd at 9:50 AM

    Homeopaths ARE in the 21st century. They use medicines based on quantum mechanics. Conventional medicine is obsolete because it’s based on an obsolete model — Newtonian physics. The WHO states clearly that conventional medicine has NO treatment or vaccine for Ebola. People who say homeopathy should not be used in the case of Ebola are short-sighted and irresponsible. Cuba used homeoprophylaxis very successfully to eradicate leptospirosis. Homeopathy works and has a great deal to offer victims of Ebola.

    If it’s a Poe, it’s a good one.

  • blf

    Ok, so if there’s no Ebola virus left in the flask, where did it go? Down the drain? Are the appropriate plumbing / sanitation systems prepared to handle such a dangerous containment?

    (Everything I’ve read — excepting some woo-woo sites which claim Ebola is, or is about to be, released into Atlanta’s sewage system — is fairly clear the virus is fragile and is destroyed by washing with soap-and-water; i.e., is very unlikely to survive should some suicidal nutter actually try the instructions.)

  • blf

    I just read Orac’s post on Adam’s take-down, and the blinking box makes a similar point about the virus-laden waste-water, with several details I overlooked:

    The bigger problem, though, is this: What do you do with all the water being used to dilute the Ebola virus? The water discarded during the first few dilutions is likely to be chock full of virus, given how much virus can be found in the blood and secretions of victims. Imagine the potential for accidental self-infection or infection of others if that water deposits Ebola on surfaces where people can touch it, get it on their skin, and then, as people so frequently do, get it on their mucus membranes by either rubbing their eyes, picking their nose, or eating something by hand. It’s insanity! Also, the thought of striking a glass bottle containing Ebola virus-laced water doesn’t sound like the most brilliant plan in the world. What if the bottle breaks?

  • tbell

    The post has indeed been taken down and replaced with this:

    “Natural News was made aware of a blog post that seemed to recommend a highly questionable method related to Ebola prevention. The blog post has been removed pending further investigation, and the blogger is under review. Natural News does not condone any member of the public attempting to interact with Ebola, a very hazardous biological threat.”

    Funny how they characterize it as “highly questionable” when it was entirely consistent with established homeopathic doctrine.

  • Artor

    Someone needs to be fined and prosecuted for practicing “medicine” without a license. I hope nobody tries out this supposed remedy, as they’re likely to infect themselves, and any patient they treat is doomed.

  • erichoug

    Jeez, you people are so Narrow Minded. Homeopaths and Narturopaths should be on the front lines of the Ebola pandemic. While I don’t think we should discontinue traditional medicine, It is obvious that every homeopathic and Naturopathic practitioner should receive free travel to the affected areas where they can practice their treatments along side regular doctors. I must stress that these CAM practicioners should definitely be encouraged to collect sputum for their treatment recommended above.

    What we definitely don’t want to provide them is latex gloves.

  • Loqi

    So, if I’m understanding correctly, the cure for ebola is thus:

    1) obtain blood from someone who may or may not have ebola (apparently just suspecting they have it is good enough for homeopathy – the actual presence of the virus is irrelevant)

    2) put the blood in a bottle of water

    3) dangerously mishandle the bottle in such a way that you’re likely to expose yourself and others to a deadly biological agent

    4) pour deadly biological agent in the sink

    5) wash bottle

    6) have a glass of tapwater

    Yeah, that seems legit. I’m used to homeopaths pretending to be doctors, but this looks more like homeopaths pretending to be incompetent terrorists attempting to execute a biological attack.

  • lorn

    On the other hand, as was shown after the Haiti earthquake, there is are two advantages to going for homeopathy, there is no line, and they have water.

    I remember seeing a video of a lady with a crushed leg having her chakras aligned. That was some shit. Thousands crushed, and suffering, transportation capacity stretch to the breaking point and out steps an elite team of homeopaths, reiki practitioners, and crystal healers. The words less-than-useless sprang to mind.

    On the up side, homeopaths have water. Clean, clear, water.

  • jonmoles

    @Pieter B

    ChristyRedd is not a Poe, she’s a troll that spends an inordinate amount of time defending homeopathy. When I used to bother commenting at HuffPost (mistake) any article about homeopathy would include 30+ comments by her and a few other trolls in the homeopathic wackadoo brigade.

  • http://atheistoasis.wordpress.com/ jamesr54

    The homeopaths were there. They all died due to their silly people tricks. I have read that some of the countries involved with this outbreak are ready to prosecute witch doctors and the like.

    #14 No gloves. Self correcting stupidity.

    Quantum Mechanics, sounds like Deepak nonsense. Maybe Deepak should be sent to show how it is done.

  • David Marjanović

    And why would similar symptoms mean similar treatment?

    Because Hahnemann said so, duh.

    It’s medieval-style authority-based medicine, just with Hahnemann instead of Aristotle or Galen or Avicenna.

    But at least this exposes as a plain lie the common complaint by homeopaths that evidence-based medicine only treats symptoms while homeopathy heals the whole person and treats causes: it doesn’t even try.

    1) obtain blood from someone who may or may not have ebola (apparently just suspecting they have it is good enough for homeopathy – the actual presence of the virus is irrelevant)

    Of course it’s irrelevant. Everything that was discovered after Hahnemann died is irrelevant – except for really massive misunderstandings of quantum physics, of course; those are useful.

  • http://www.meddlingkids.org Big Ugly Jim

    Clearly, a case of drinking the (horribly dilluted) Kool Aid.

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/billygutter01 billygutter01

    That website is staggeringly dangerous!

  • AsqJames

    What you need:

    1. A face mask and gloves

    We’ve all seen pictures of the people with proper medical qualifications who are treating Ebola patients. They were all wearing a metric sh*t tonne more safety gear than “a face mask and gloves”…and yet several have contracted the virus, and some have died indescribably horrible deaths.

    I have the utmost possible contempt for homeopaths, but I wouldn’t wish such a fate on anyone, no matter how dangerously deluded they may be.

  • Trebuchet

    How Homeopathy cures Ebola, in three easy steps:

    1. Give the patient some distilled water, forgoing all allopathic treatment.

    2. Patient dies.

    3. Patient no longer has Ebola. Therefore, he’s cured.

  • Ichthyic

    . Patient no longer has Ebola. Therefore, he’s cured.

    sarcasm aside, one of the main ways Ebola is transmitted is by handling of dead bodies in the “traditional” manner in villages in Africa.

    Ebola actually stays active, even in corpses, for days after death.

  • DaveL

    I noticed the procedure never explains what you are supposed to do with the alcohol. I presume you’re supposed to drink it until this whole thing starts sounding like a good idea?

  • caseloweraz

    Damn, DaveL beat me to it. Brings to mind the old joke.

    Doctor: “We’ve got to sterilize this man’s bullet wound before I operate. Bring me a glass of whiskey.”

    Helper: “Sure, Doc. How’s about one for the patient too?”

  • caseloweraz

    Avoid touching a pill with your fingers as your energy field can neutralize the information carried.

    Too bad this “energy field” won’t neutralize the information carried in the ebola virus itself. Wouldn’t that be something?

  • rahn

    4. Hold the bottle and strike it hard against a solid surface, such as a large book, 40 times.

    7. Repeat steps 3 to 6 a total of 30 times.”

    That totals 1200 hard strikes, and they expect all this in only HALF AN HOUR??????????????

    AND without the bottle breaking???????? As my old high school teacher used to say

    “SUUUUUURRRRRRRRE, Fellah! SUUUUUUUUUURRRREEE!”