There’s been a meme going around Facebook wondering where the homeopaths are in Africa. Why aren’t they there treating people for Ebola? Luckily, Natural News, the Worldnetdaily of the anti-medical crowd, has the answer and tells us how to treat Ebola using homeopathy. The article is every bit as stupid as you would expect. And how do you treat it? The same way you treat snakebites. What do snakebites have to do with Ebola? Well, the symptoms are the same. Or something.
The symptoms described above for Ebola resemble symptoms produced in healthy persons who took one of the following homeopathic remedies— including symptoms of people who were bitten by the snake concerned:
• Crotalus Horridus (made from rattlesnake venom— fits the Ebola symptoms picture 95%)
• Lachesis (made from venom of the bushmaster snake)
• Bothrops (made from the venom of the yellow viper found on the island of Martinique)
• Phosphorus (made from the element of the same name—relates to internal bleeding)
Thus, the symptom pictures of these remedies (check the Internet) should be examined for a match for the Ebola symptoms seen in a patient. Use the remedy with the closest match to treat the patient.
Wait, you get similar symptoms to Ebola when a healthy person takes one of those homeopathic remedies? And why would similar symptoms mean similar treatment? There are lots and lots of symptoms that could have multiple causes that are wildly different. Just think of how many different conditions can cause, say, gastrointestinal problems. And if you think that every one of the potential causes of those symptoms should be treated the same way, you’d be an idiot.
How to Make Your Own Ebola Remedy
What you need:
1. A face mask and gloves
2. Two bottles (50 ml up to 500 ml glass or plastic bottles) with caps
3. Clean water (mineral or tap water)
4. An Ebola sample: some spit or other disease product, such as blood, from a person infected with Ebola, or who is suspected sick with it. Any small quantity will do, even a pinhead.
5. An alcoholic liquid, such as whisky, brandy, rum, etc.
6. Half an hour of your time.
1. Fill the bottle with water, leaving about 20% space at the top.
2. Place the Ebola sample in the water in the bottle.
3. Close the top of the bottle with the cap.
4. Hold the bottle and strike it hard against a solid surface, such as a large book, 40 times.
5. Pour out the contents of the bottle.
6. Refill the bottle with water (the fluid remaining on the inside surface of the bottle will serve as the next Ebola sample).
7. Repeat steps 3 to 6 a total of 30 times.
Yep, that’ll do it. Here’s my favorite part:
Avoid touching a pill with your fingers as your energy field can neutralize the information carried.
I know, right? It will totally unbalance the frequency of the vibrations and make your chakras all upset.
The scary part? These people are serious. This isn’t a parody.