DeLay Wants God Back in Government

Tom DeLay continued his attempted political resurrection at a Rick Scarborough rally by calling to “bring back” the Constitution “the way God intended it and God wrote it.” Yes, he actually has said that God wrote the Constitution himself, presumably in a King James Version.

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  • Chiroptera

    …presumably in a King James Version.

    I’ve been told the Constitution is better in the original Klingon.

  • Doc Bill

    Tommy lives in my area and I’m always amused to see him pushing a grocery cart at the store. Puts things in perspective. He is such a pitiful little toad.

  • johnwoodford

    …presumably in a King James Version.

    Please. We’re a democracy here; surely it would be the President James Version.

  • Sastra

    “… let’s bring Jesus Christ back into our political system … and stand for Him unashamedly …”


    Well, I didn’t vote for him.

  • D. C. Sessions

    Of course, DeLay wants God back in government. Unlike a lot of others there, He will do as DeLay tells Him to do.

  • busterggi

    If god wants to be put into the Constitution then let him lobby for it in person. And I want to see his birth certificate because I understand he’s a foreign national.

  • So, God thinks blacks are only 3/5s of a person?

  • Pierce R. Butler

    God’s such a big celeb, even a document of just a few pages under his name needed 55 as-told-to’s!

  • matty1

    What kind of constitution would King James have authorised?

    1 The king is appointed by God and has absolute power

    2 Not attending the church the king wants you to is treason

    3 Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live

    4 No smoking

    5 No homose… who is that charming young man?

  • Randomfactor

    DeLay DOES understand that he’s not God, right?

  • sugarfrosted

    Much like the Bible, few of them read the constitution.

  • Chiroptera

    …the Constitution “the way God intended it and God wrote it.”


    ‘Cause the Framers weren’t merely inspired by Biblical principles: they copied the Constitution word for word from some place in the Pentateuch.

  • Reginald Selkirk

    d.c.wilson #7: So, God thinks blacks are only 3/5s of a person?

    That explains the episode of Jesus and the Canaanite dogs

  • coragyps

    Let’s just keep DeLay the fuck out of government, and let God fend for himself.

  • Taz

    If God didn’t write the Constitution then how do you explain this photographic evidence?

    Checkmate, atheists!

  • vereverum

    @ Taz #15

    how do you explain this photographic evidence?

    A direct violation of the 2nd Commandment. Ex 20:4.

  • Pierce R. Butler

    matty1 @ # 9: What kind of constitution would King James have authorised? … 3 Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live…

    That depends on whether you asked the younger or older James. He started out fervently anti-witch, but after moving south for the more comfortable throne had seen too many witch-hunters motivated by stark and ruthless greed, and went to far as to write a book denouncing the hunts and the hangings for admirably secular reasons. Besides, after the Guy Fawkes misadventure, Jim didn’t want any energy wasted which could better go to dealing with the Catholic problem.

  • Pierce R. Butler

    Re: # 17: … went so far …


  • Alverant

    DeLay wants HIS god in government. Everyone else’s god can get on the first boat to Not-America.

    Taz, no thanks for reminding us about that.

  • D. C. Sessions

    DeLay DOES understand that he’s not God, right?

    As if DeLay would put up with a demotion like that.

  • I assume DeLay means that we should get rid of this pesky democracy stuff with all it’s election rules and ethics and crap. Like he did when he was Speaker.

  • Michael Heath

    D.C. Wilson writes:

    So, God thinks blacks are only 3/5s of a person?

    That was damn white of God back then, and liberal to boot . . .

  • Nemo

    “It will never be pretended…” sigh.

  • Ichthyic

    If God didn’t write the Constitution then how do you explain this photographic evidence?

    Check out the book the guy in the lower right is holding:

    The Five Thousand Year Leap

  • Ichthyic, lower left I mean. need moar coffee.

  • steve84

    I didn’t realize he left government

  • elspeth

    In 1884, apparently, Steve. Anyone else notice him saying “it took a hundred and thirty years” to get where we are, presumably meaning to become godless federalists?

    What happened in 1884??

  • Pierce R. Butler

    elspeth @ # 27: What happened in 1884??

    Grover Cleveland was elected president. He (somewhat) reformed the civil service system and tariff policy, though which of those drove any deities out I have yet to discover.

  • When Grover Cleveland was elected president in 1884, he was the first Democrat elected in 28 years. Maybe DeLay thinks that it was all downhill since then, after nearly 3 decades of Republican dominance came to an end. However, the two parties back then had virtually nothing to do with their current ideological orientations. But this is something that Republicans refuse to understand, always taking credit for their progressive antecedents who would be vehemently unwelcome in today’s party; meanwhile, they blame Democrats for the behavior of conservative segregationists who later joined the Republicans.

    Another, more likely interpretation, is that he actually meant 230 years ago, which is roughly when the Constitution was written.

    Another, equally likely interpretation, is that he’s a raving face-anus who has no idea what he’s saying.

  • grumpyoldfart

    His advisers would have told him he could never win an election with that spiel and he probably said, “I’m not trying to win a bloody election, I’m just collecting donations from the mugs who want to hear this nonsense. As soon as the money stops coming in, I’m going back into retirement.”

  • Ichthyic

    that’s a good bet, grumpy.

  • birgerjohansson

    (slightly OT, but fun) -If God wants people happy, apparently he wants bigger government…. Even the rich are happier in countries with bigger government!!!

    “Bigger government makes for more satisfied people, international study finds.”

    “People living in countries with governments that spend more on social services report being more contented, according to a Baylor University study”.

    “The effect of state intervention into the economy equals or exceeds marriage or employment status—two traditional predictors of happiness—when it comes to satisfaction,” said Patrick Flavin, Ph.D., assistant professor of political science in Baylor’s College of Arts & Sciences.

    (Read the whole article, it is quite interesting)

    “The study’s findings held true regardless of whether respondents were rich or poor. The researchers also ruled out alternative explanations such as an individual’s health, education level, and marital status as well as the gross national product and unemployment rate of the country that he or she lives in.”

    Heresy!!! Reality is a commie!!!

  • colnago80

    In related news, switch hitting Texas governor Rick Perry has joined former Virginia governor McDonnell in the dock.

  • Matt G

    God wants DeLay back in prison. Wait, what? He never went to prison after his conviction?