Bryan Fischer: Bigot Supergenius

The National Institutes of Health is doing a study on the question of why lesbians have higher rates of obesity and that triggered a brilliant idea in the fever swamp inside Bryan Fischer’s head. Michelle Obama wants to fight obesity, so she should start a campaign to get lesbians to become straight and then they won’t be obese anymore.

“I would suggest that if Michelle Obama really cares about obesity,” Fischer said, “she should be out there leading the charge against normalizing lesbianism. She should be at the head of a campaign to convince women not to get into lesbianism. Her slogan ought to be ‘Fight Obesity, Go Straight.'”

Bryan Fischer, you’re a genius. Hey, did you know that Mississippi has the highest obesity rate of any state? The First Lady should start a campaign to get people to move out of Mississippi and they’ll magically lose the extra weight when they cross the border.

httpv://youtu.be/8p_NtlQGVTo

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Who Cares

    That guy owes me money for having to go to the hospital. I just managed to perform a facepalm combined with hitting the desk with my head.

  • moarscienceplz

    Has he ever seen John Hagee?

  • Chiroptera

    Are you sure Fischer meant this seriously? It sounds to me like just a way an evil yet efficient man can express his bigotry at both gays and at Michelle Obama at the same time.

  • http://www.clanfield.net janiceintoronto

    How could one be sure anything Fischer is saying is in seriousness?

  • Abby Normal

    Studies have found Fundamentalists tend to have below average intellegance. If Fischer really cared about making intelligent arguments he’d be leading the charge against fundamentalism.

  • http://www.facebook.com/den.wilson d.c.wilson

    I would think the most effective program for convincing people to move out of Mississippi would be living in MIssissippi.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    The National Institutes of Health is doing a study on the question of why lesbians have higher rates of obesity …did you know that Mississippi has the highest obesity rate of any state?

    Well, you can’t say “Mississippi” without “sissy”. Think about it!

  • http://artk.typepad.com ArtK

    Bryan Fischer: Poster child for post hoc ergo propter hoc.

  • doolittle

    @d.c.wilson, #9

    Having spent the first 18 years of my life in Mississippi, I am a data point in favor of your hypothesis.

    The First Lady should start a campaign to get people to move out of Mississippi and they’ll magically lose the extra weight when they cross the border.

    Sadly, I’ve tried this. It didn’t work. Might’ve had something to do with only making it to Tennessee.

  • Synfandel

    People tend to gain weight after they get married too. I guess we’ll have to put an end to that institution.

  • lorn

    Who Cares says @ #1:

    Sounds painful. You okay?

    moarscienceplz says @ #2:

    I’ve always though Hagee was gay. He gets so worked up on the subject that he seems more than a academic interest.

  • Pierce R. Butler

    Hey Fischer, people gain weight after Thanksgiving and Christmas too…

  • Mobius

    Wile E. Coyote…S U P E R G E N I U S

    Love it. It is so appropriate for Fischer.

  • John Pieret

    Wile E. Fischer…S U P E R G E N I U S

    He’s wearing an Acme Thinking Cap.

  • Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden

    Bigot Supergenius

    or

    Genius Superbigot?

    You decide.

    @ArtK, #8:

    Bryan Fischer: Poster child for post hoc ergo propter hoc.

    Oh, gods! Not the hoc! Anything but the hoc! Will no one rid me of this meddlesome hoc? And …wait folks, I think the hoc’s entrails tangled around my neck, so stop pulling on them, okay?