‘Coach’ Dave: God Sending Delusions to Make People Disagree With Him

“Coach” Dave Daubenmire is against strip clubs and thinks they should be shut down. And if you disagree with him, he says, it’s because God has “sent delusions” to confuse you as part of his judgment on America for turning its back on him. And some bullshit about “common sense,” which does not exist.


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  • eric

    it’s because God has “sent delusions” to confuse you as part of his judgment on America for turning its back on him.

    Hey, that argument is perfectly consistent with the OT. Exodus is pretty explicit about God deciding to harden Pharoah’s heart so that he won’t agree to Moses’ demands.

  • Athywren

    So, if I’m wrong about something, that’s God’s fault, right? So how can you argue against me? God wants me to believe this way, so, if you argue against my position, you’re arguing against God’s wishes, right? God wants to world to be worse as punishment for not being better, and how dare you oppose him?!

  • http://www.facebook.com/den.wilson d.c.wilson

    Makes perfect sense if you believe we’re all just marionettes dancing on strings for the amusement of a god with the majurity level of a 4-year-old.

  • cgm3

    Eric @1:

    Maybe the Kill-The-Firstborn-Sons curse was just out of R&D and Yahweh really wanted to field-test it.

  • dingojack

    If your god is (supposedly) on our side and you oppose us, whose side are you on coach?



  • grumpyoldfart

    In trying to enlighten us, Coach Dave is speaking directly against his lord and master (sweet baby Jesus) who has already decided that none of us will be forgiven:

    When he was alone, the Twelve and the others around him asked him about the parables. He told them, “The secret of the kingdom of God has been given to you. But to those on the outside everything is said in parables so that, “‘they may be ever seeing but never perceiving, and ever hearing but never understanding; otherwise they might turn and be forgiven!’”

    Mark 4:10-12 (New International Version)

    [Don’t mention Free Will – it will only cause more problems.]

  • dugglebogey

    What a weird cross section of people who think “American is the greatest place on earth and can do absolutely no wrong EVERRR!” and “God hates everyone in America and it’s the next Gomorrah and he will get his vengeance!”

    How do those people get along in the same political party?

  • http://artk.typepad.com ArtK

    Once again, a complete lack of… self-awareness? I’m not sure what the right term is. The ability ask yourself “People aren’t agreeing with my message; could it be something wrong with the message?” It’s always someone else’s fault. Satan, God, the “liberal media,” whatever. The fact that his message is repulsive to a majority of people isn’t something that “Coach” Dave would (or could) ever consider.

  • sugarfrosted

    @7 it’s weirder than that, they’re the same people quite often.

  • Scientismist

    So let me get this straight. This “coach” person has some religious opinions and wants the state to make laws to enforce his opinions. His God told him to do that. Then there are those who disagree with him and don’t want the state to make such laws. God told them to do that, too. But God sent the “truth” to him, but “delusions” to his opponents. How does he know? Did his God (the source of both truth and delusions) tell him so? How does he know when his God is playing which side of this divine game of lets-you-and-him-fight?

    dugglebogey @ 7:

    How do those people get along in the same political party?

    I’d like to know how they get along in the same head!

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    dugglebogey “How do those people get along in the same political party?”

    More accurately, “How do they get along in the same mind?”

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    And Scientismist said what I said, after I typed what I said but before I posted it. Stupid work.

  • Scientismist

    Modus — sugarfrosted @9 really beat us both to it; but I’m sure the coach has an answer. Our mistake must have something to do with our delusion that brains and heads have something to do with minds, which are really chips off the old divine mind-block, and some of us, unlike the coach, get a flaky flake.

  • Akira MacKenzie

    So much for free will.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Akira MacKenzie “So much for free will.”

    It’s like libido or work ethic (“I have good reasons for using contraception. You’re just a slut.” or “I’m temporarily unemployed [Thanks Obama!]. You’re just lazy”)

  • lorn

    “Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

  • fleetfootphilo

    I remember coaches like ‘Coach’ Dave. That is, I remember asshole, clueless coaches

  • dingojack

    I’ve got two words for you coach: ‘command hallucinations’*.

    (Or perhaps: ‘seek help’)



    * No MO, I’ve got dibs on the band name!

  • Mobius

    “…God has sent delusions…”???

    WTF happened to that whole “free will” thingy?