Arpaio Investigator Wonders Who Obama’s Mother Is

We’re used to loopy conspiracy theories about who President Obama’s real father is. Some wingnuts say it’s Frank Marshall Davis. Some say it’s Malcolm X. Some say it’s Barack Obama, Sr., which is also bad. But Mike Zullo, the guy heading up fascist Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s birther investigation, says we should be wondering who his real mother is.

Zullo told Boyles that he doesn’t know who Obama is, but “all that I can tell you is I don’t believe he is who he purports to be.”

He said that he disagreed with fellow conspiracy theorist Joel Gilbert’s assertion that the president’s real father was American labor organizer Frank Marshall Davis. Instead, he said, “I would be focusing real hard on who’s the mommy.”

I can’t wait to hear who the wingnuts think his real mother might be. Angela Davis? Patty Hearst? The ghost of Marie Antoinette?

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  • kantalope

    The hard part was switching in the delivery room without anyone noticing…..tah dah magic.

  • Pierce R. Butler

    Cherchez la femme!

  • colnago80

    Actually, some of the whackjobs on the right claim that Obama’s real mother is Ann Dunham’s mother, his purported grandmother (shades of Andrew Sullivan on Tris Palin). Hey, IMHO, his real mother is Hillary Clinton by way of Malcolm X! End snark.

  • John Pieret

    No, no! We should be focusing on whether he was born of this Earth or was dropped off by a UFO! Obama has not released any evidence at all that he is a human instead of an alien!!!!

  • dingojack

    Mary (Mother of God)?!?

    Seems the slutty-slut slut had a non-legit kid before, no need to merely imagine it couldn’t happen again!!


  • dingojack

    SLC – Obama is really — Superman!!!!


  • lofgren

    Obama was in fact the first human to give birth to himself through parthenogenesis. Now that I have made this claim in writing, it can legitimately be called “controversial,” and any news stories about it must feature equal representation of both sides.

  • Deacon Duncan

    Ok, I’m going to break this case wide open. Brace yourselfs. The real reason why we can’t find out who Obama’s real parents were, or where his birth certificate is BECAUSE. BRACK OBAMA DOES NOT EXITS! You heard me right. The president of the United STATES, Brack H. Obama, is a fictional character. They do it with computers and stuff. We are being led by a fake president, and that’s why all. It’s a ginormus conspiracy and the MEDIA is in on it.

    Whaddya think? Can we get some traction on this rumor? 😉

  • lldayo

    Obama doesn’t actually exist. He’s a hologram.

  • Deacon Duncan

    I mean, I used capital letters and everything. How could anyone doubt me as a source?

  • lldayo

    Dammit Deacon!

  • dingojack

    Lofgren – It’s a little more complex than that. See the definitive scientifical paper on this phenomenon:

    All You Zombies, Heinlein Robert A. . 1958.


  • Deacon Duncan

    @9 did you do that as a reply to me, or was that just a coincidence? If the latter, lol!

  • gwangung
  • dingojack



  • YOB – Ye Olde Blacksmith

    Obama was in fact the first human to give birth to himself through parthenogenesis.

    Hmmm.. that is interesting. And since you used “in fact”, I must then take it to be factual. Also, you used a large word that I am not familiar with, thereby giving your statement even more weight.

    I am convinced.

    To: Lamestream media


  • a_ray_in_dilbert_space

    I’ll say this for the rightwing nutjobs: they don’t embarrass easily.

  • Mike Morris

    Wingnuts want to focus on the mom because she is the link to Obama’s valid US citizenship. The father baloney gets them nowhere.

  • grumpyoldfart

    Like the Catholic girl who went to the priest for advice about an unexpected pregnancy.

    “Are you sure it’s yours?” asked the priest.

  • dhall

    I have a copy of his birth certificate posted outside my office door, and it indicates that his parents are from the Alpha Centauri system, and he was born during their stay at Area 51. Since that place is in Nevada, that makes him a US citizen, no question, and an anchor baby as well. The birth certificate is from the State of Nevada, the Department of Exobiology. Take that, conspiracy theorists!

  • Michael Heath

    I think it’s Beyonce.

  • puppygod

    Mwahaha! Fools, all of them!

    They were asking who is his father.

    They were asking who is his mother.

    But they never realized that question they should be asking is:

    “who are his mothers ?”

  • Modusoperandi

    It’s Donald Trump. Why do you think he’s trying so hard to point people elsewhere?

  • Michael Heath

    Questioning who Barack Obama’s mother is opens the door to future assertions that Mr. Obama is the anti-Christ who was born of a jackal. After he retires from the presidency I’m confident conservative Christians will increasingly believe he’s the antichrist. That much hate can’t quickly die out, plus he’ll still be relatively young so Obama will have to do something. So these sorts of viral stories now will build the base for increasingly believing the antichrist claims in the future.

    I don’t think the jackal claim is in the Bible. Instead it’s one of those popular memes some Christians think is. I think the reference comes from the old movie, The Omen, which is what my Google searches kept retrieving. However I wouldn’t be surprised to find Calvin, Luther, or the RCC originally manufactured the story.

  • Modusoperandi

    Michael Heath “After he retires from the presidency I’m confident conservative Christians will increasingly believe he’s the antichrist.”

    Wrong. They’ll move on to the next one.

  • Richard Bartholomew

    Back in 2009 Joseph Farah floated a theory that Obama’s grandmother was his real mother, and that Ann covered up for it. Really

  • eric

    Its Hilary Clinton. And they will then argue that by having a non-American-citizen baby, she is ineligible to be President. “Birtherism, the sequel: now working backwards in time.”

  • eric


    Michael Heath “After he retires from the presidency I’m confident conservative Christians will increasingly believe he’s the antichrist.”

    Wrong. They’ll move on to the next one.

    Agree. While the GOP machine is using racist sentiment to energize the base right now, it’s a political act intended to undermine the other party’s popularity. If the next President happens to be a Democrat, the GOP’s focus will shift to him/her.

  • dhall

    #24 Michael Heath – nah, their attention span is much too short for that. If we happen to get another Democrat president directly after Obama, he will be the new antichrist. Or the female equivalent. Come to think of it, shouldn’t the antichrist be female, to make it a better opposite . . ? And oh my, a female in charge would surely be a sign of the End Times, right?

  • rationalinks

    You dupes! They all have you fooled! Obama has no father and no mother, he was engineered and created in a laboratory run by Hitler and Stalin in Antarctica (where they still live). WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!

  • Al Dente

    You’re all wrong. Instead of “dying” Elvis got a reverse Michael Jackson treatment and became Obama. TRUFAX!

  • janiceintoronto

    He has no birth certificate because he was decanted, not born.

  • Lofty

    Schroedinger’s Obama. He both exists and doesn’t, his current state depending on which eye you’re currently squinting from.

  • timgueguen

    I’m surprised no one has decided that Joe Arpaio is actually Obama’s real dad.

  • lorn
  • marcus

    Area 51 began Project Oxcart in August, 1959 exactly 2 years later “Barack Obama” was “born”. Coincidence? I don’t fucking think so!

  • dingojack

    Ombam’s mum is, in reality —

    Martin Luther!!! [chorus of Fundie head ‘spolosions].


  • Mark Gillar

    I can’t help but wonder if the jokes really fell flat because the audience was filled with “dazed illiterates” or because the jokes just weren’t funny. Then again, what failed comedian wouldn’t prefer blaming the audience instead of admitting to a lack of talent.

    I don’t know any birthers who believe grandma Dunham was Obama’s mother, but I know a lot of left-wing idiots who think that Sarah Palin is the real mother of Bristol Palin’s son.

  • timgueguen

    Mark Gillar, you seemed to have missed that the mention of dazed illiterates was intended as a joke. You also apparently missed Richard Bartholomew’s link in this thread, which noted that Joseph Farah promoted the idea that Obama’s grandmother might actually be his real mom during a radio interview in 2009.

  • jnorris

    Deacon Duncan @ #10: After very close study of your post at #8, I saw only one exclamation point and no random capital letters. Sorry, you were too rational.


    I now call on Sheriff ‘Crazy’ Joe Arpaio to hold an international convention where all parties can discuss, examine, and vote on all available information on Mr Obama’s genealogy and citizenship. Presenters must include Steven Seagal, Donald Trump, Orly Taitz, and Pat Boone (who I believe was going to make a big announcement in September). Call it the Republican Tea Party National Convention.

  • colnago80

    Re Mark Gillar @ #38

    I don’t know any birthers who believe grandma Dunham was Obama’s mother, but I know a lot of left-wing idiots who think that Sarah Palin is the real mother of Bristol Palin’s son.

    Joe Farah isn’t a birther? His whacknutdaily site is one of the preeminent birther sites on the Internet.

    By the way, the only significant person who used to claim that Sarah Palin is the real mother of Trig is Andrew Sullivan, hardly a left wing idiot.

  • robertbaden

    Does Obama’s time machine look like a police box?

  • colnago80

    Re robertbaden @ #42

    Hey, it’s really George Soros’ time machine which he loaned out to Obama.

  • Michael Heath


    . . . the only significant person who used to claim that Sarah Palin is the real mother of Trig is Andrew Sullivan

    As always colnago80 misrepresents others. Sarah Palin herself claims Trig is her biological son:

    Andrew Sullivan has distinguished himself by reporting all the validated lies and contradictory assertions that Sarah Palin has made on many topics. Mr. Sullivan did yeoman’s work exposing her astonishing dishonesty, laziness, and willingness to divide others in order to advance her own selfish interests – regardless of the negative implications to others.

  • colnago80

    Re Michael Heath @ #44

    I believe I got it backwards. Sullivan has claimed that Palin’s daughter is Trig’s real mother and that ole Sarah was covering up for her. He has posted photographs on his web site purporting to show that Sarah wasn’t pregnant. Sullivan has been obsessed with this hypothesis and, IMHO, has degraded his yeoman work in exposing Palin as a grifter by his continued pushing of it. In fact, just on the bare facts, it is far more likely that 44 year old Sarah Palin and her 44 year old husband would have a Down’s syndrome child then 18 year old Bristol Palin and her 18 year old boyfriend. The incidence of Down’s syndrome rises sharply with the increasing age of both father and mother, as both sperm and eggs acquire mutations as the subjects age. If the IVF labs had their druthers, they would only use sperm from teenage boys, which is illegal in most jurisdictions.

  • Michael Heath

    colnago asserts:

    Sullivan has claimed that Palin’s daughter is Trig’s real mother . . .

    Your linked citation makes no such assertion. It instead has Andrew Sullivan reporting many lies and absurd assertions that Sarah Palin has made on this topic.

    Why do you always misrepresent what others write?

  • colnago80

    Re Michael Heath @ #46

    Apparently, ole Mikey didn’t bother to read to the end of Sullivan’s post. Here’s the penultimate paragraph:

    But it’s also possible that she never had that baby at all. I mean, if you read the emails and independent reports above and were asked if this woman were in labor with a special needs child, and that her water had already broken, would you believe it? Just put all the facts in front of you and ask yourself that question.

    If I was of a mind, I could find numerous other posts by Sullivan that lean towards this hypothesis. Perhaps Sullivan should have investigated the issue of Down’s syndrome babies (and by the way, the same thing holds for Autism babies) relative to the age of the parents. It would not surprise me if the apparent increase in Autism is correlated with increasing ages of giving birth over the last 40 years). There’s a good reason why reputable IVF labs don’t accept sperm donations from men in their 40s.

  • colnago80

    Re Michael Heath @ #46

    Considering the fact that Palin provides oceans of evidence of incompetence and prevarication, which I agree that Sullivan has done yeoman like work exposing, it was irresponsible of him to beat on the birth issue which is a highly unlikely scenario, just based on the relative likelihoods of a fetus developing Down’s syndrome from parents in their 40s vs parents in their teens.

  • Michael Heath

    colnago80, I read, and understood, Sullivan’s entire post. I’m a daily reader of Sullivan’s and am literate on his reporting of Sarah Palin.

    As noted and demonstrated in prior posts, you misrepresent what Sullivan asserted, just like you misrepresent everyone I’ve ever seen you write about.

  • colnago80

    Re Michael Heath @ #49

    I also read Sullivan daily and have seen numerous posts where he speculates about who Trig’s real mother is and he’s been doing it since 2008. In no way, shape, form, or regard am I misrepresenting him. Since I agree with you and Sullivan that Palin is pond scum, I really fail to see why we are having this pointless discussion. Even if it were true that it’s Bristol’s baby and ole Sarah is covering up, this would be small beer in comparison with her other prevarications and demagoguery. I also think that the danger posed by Palin, in the mind of Sullivan is exaggerated. For instance, compared to Ted Cruz, who is an even bigger demagogue then she is and who is infinitely smarter, she poses a rather modest threat. There’s somebody who Sullivan should really be worried about. As I have continuously opined on this blog, he is the most dangerous man in the Rethuglican Party, Joe McCarthy with brains. Apparently, Brayton is the only guy in these parts who seems to agree with me.

  • Michael Heath

    colnago80 writes:

    Since I agree with you and Sullivan that Palin is pond scum, I really fail to see why we are having this pointless discussion.

    Joining Sullivan and I in finding Ms. Palin contemptible does not give you moral license to misrepresent what Andrew Sullivan has written, as you demonstrably do here.

    It’s not pointless to defend others from the sorts of defamations you regularly do in this forum. In fact that’s the only time I respond to your posts and then only a small fraction of the time you do so; mostly when you misrepresent what I’ve written.

  • colnago80

    Re Michael Heath @ #51

    If I have misrepresented Sullivan’s opinion as to who is the mother of Trig, then I can only conclude that Heath is claiming that Sullivan has never at any time speculated on this issue and has always maintained that Palin is the mother. Sorry pal, others have commented on many blogs, including this one that Sullivan has been obsessed with this issue almost from day one. I am afraid that Heath is seriously in error on this issue. If I have misrepresented Sullivan’s position, then so have Weigel and Elliot.

    Here’s an example from Salon.

    Here’s another one from Slate by Dave Weigel, who took the trouble to contact the hospital where Trig was born and confirmed that ole Sarah was the mother.


    The fact that Sullivan’s obsession with this issue attracted the attention of two different writers on two different blogs is evidence that I am 100% correct and accurate in describing Sullivan’s interest as an obsession and that others have noted it.

    If we are going to criticize Orly Taitz and Joe Farah relative to their obsession with Obama’s birth certificate, we can’t let Sullivan off the hook. In fairness, I think that Sullivan, who is a serious commentator, really believed that there was something there; Taitz and Farah are grifters who I doubt really believe their crap).

  • Michael Heath

    colnago80 @ 52,

    Moving the goal posts to avoid taking responsibility for your prior untrue posts is always bad form. Better to simply not misrepresent others as you continually do.