Now This Is How You Fight ISIS

While the rest of us just sit on our asses waiting for the military to destroy ISIS from the air, one women in Mississippi is teaching us all a lesson in taking proactive action by breaking into cars at a local school and stealing things from them in an effort to root out the terrorists.

Jackson County authorities say a 41-year-old Hurley woman who was caught stealing from East Central High School students’ vehicles claimed she was looking for members of the terrorist group ISIS.

Lisa Carol Roche is charged with commercial burglary of an automobile after authorities say she was caught stealing sunglasses and other personal items from vehicles parked at her children’s school.

She told authorities she was looking for members of the Islamist State of Iraq and Syria, the terrorist group that has made international headlines recently after several gruesome beheadings.

Now don’t you feel bad for not doing more to stop the terrorists? You just sit there in your ivory tower pretending that it won’t affect you. But this woman is actually doing something about it. I am humbled by her generous example.

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  • Chiroptera

    Wow. I do feel like I’m not doing enough. My fight against ISIS has just involved taking home office supplies from my employer.

  • D. C. Sessions

    I find the use of the term “terrorist” WRT ISIL to be quite interesting.

    Today, for instance, there’s a news item about ISIL units advancing with armored vehicles, organized infantry, artillery, etc. on a town, with various nations staging air attacks on the ISIL “terrorist” units.

    As part of the resistance, a Kurdish woman took out some ISIL troops with a suicide bomb.

    Now someone remind me again who are the “terrorists” and who are the “army?” Or is it now (as Ed uses it) proper to lump all anti-Western Islamists as “terrorists” no matter anything else?

  • cgm3

    Now I’m afraid to open my glove compartment for fear an ISIS terrorist is lurking in there.

  • dhall

    The only real surprise is that more dolts aren’t in the news for idiotic crap like this. The way Fox News and some other outlets portray it, there’s a terrorist under every rug. Just like old-style red scares. Only this time, the so-called “reds” are the ones doing the fear-mongering, and they sure aren’t communists.

  • dugglebogey

    Everyone trying to make you afraid of ISIS is trying to steal from you too. They are either media trying to steal your attention or they are politicians trying to steal your votes.

    Never be afraid of something someone tries to warn you about. The things you really need to worry about, nobody will ever tell you until it’s way too late.

  • Al Dente

    I hadn’t realized that Mississippi high schools were hotbeds of ISIS activity.

  • johnwoodford

    @Al: Sneaky, aren’t they? The veritable Macavitys of international terrorism.

  • laurentweppe

    While the rest of us just sit on our asses waiting for the military to destroy ISIS from the air

    Come one: be fair: we’re not waiting for the military to destroy ISIS from the air: we’re sitting on our asses waiting for the outgunned Peshmergas to do all the heavy lifting on their own

  • http://www.clanfield.net janiceintoronto

    My anti-virus software just caught ISIS stealing my bandwidth.

    Fuckers.

  • John Pieret

    I hadn’t realized that Mississippi high schools were hotbeds of ISIS activity.

    Mississippi is just one state over from Oklahoma where that beheading occurred because the black Mass released that demon god Allah and the Whore of Babylon priests botched the exorcism and therefore ISIS … wait a minute … where was I?

  • colnago80

    Re weppe @ #8

    The Pesh Merga ain’t doing too badly in Iraq with the help of close air support from US air power. The problem with the Syrian town is that Erdogan, who is wringing his hands over its possible loss to the ISIL, has ordered the Turkish Army to prevent the reinforcement of the defenders by Kurds from Turkey. Time to put the screws to Erdogan to force him to get with the program.

    However, weppe is right on one respect. If we are going to expect the Pesh Merga to do the heavy lifting on the ground, we are going to have to step up arms shipments and training, in addition to close air support.

  • lorn

    Is this going to be the new excuse for every wrong, ISIS made me do it?

    I’m old enough to remember Flip Wilson and the iteration of that catch phrase that caught on in a big way: “The devil made me do it”.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flip_Wilson

    http://www.biography.com/people/flip-wilson-37305#background

    Before reading that second page I didn’t know that George Carlin and Richard Pryor were writers on his variety show. Cool. Learn something new every day.

    We used to sit around a record player, remember record players, and listen to Flip Wilson thinking we were doing something mildly radical, something a lot of adults in my neighborhood wouldn’t approve of, laughing with a black man.

    Damn, as if I didn’t already have too much to do, now I’m going to have to search for Flip Wilson on YouTube and watch some of his routines.

  • leni

    That is absolutely terrifying. I keep all my terrorist paraphernalia in my car. That way I can always have it with me in case some unexpected opportunity arises. I also keep my drugs, black market crude oil, and child slaves in there. Dammit I thought for sure that getting a Honda Civic “sedan” would throw them off. Grrr foiled again!

  • http://www.pandasthumb.org Area Man

    …we are going to have to step up arms shipments…

    And this time, we’ll make sure that the weapons don’t fall into the wrong hands!

  • davem

    “Now someone remind me again who are the “terrorists” and who are the “army?””

    When that army invades a town, male inhabitants will be expecting their heads to be cut off, and their women raped. I’d say ‘terrorist’ is quite an apt word.

  • birgerjohansson

    “Wow. I do feel like I’m not doing enough. My fight against ISIS has just involved taking home office supplies from my employer.”

    -I once had a co-worker one door away who managed to embezzle the equivalent of $ 800.000 from the hospital. ISIS only emerged after she was exposed and got prison. Obvious correlation!

  • D. C. Sessions

    When that army invades a town, male inhabitants will be expecting their heads to be cut off, and their women raped. I’d say ‘terrorist’ is quite an apt word.

    So “terrorist” is an appropriate designation for almost every army in the history of the world?

    What term do we use for the rare exceptions then?

  • http://atheist-thoughts.tumblr.com/ atheist

    @D. C. Sessions – October 7, 2014 at 1:08 pm

    I find the use of the term “terrorist” WRT ISIL to be quite interesting.

    Good your point about the way “terrorist” is used. I have to say, though, that in the case of ISIS/ISIL/”Islamic State” it seems appropriate. You’re right that they act like conquering armies tended to act throughout history. But they also seem to manipulate world opinion through the use of violence. That said, perhaps the term “Jihadist” would be a better term because it’s less emotional than “terrorist”, and doesn’t feed into Western hysteria in the same way.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=523300770 stuartsmith

    Most people use terrorist to refer to non-state actions that commit mass murder for reasons other than profit. So basically, you’re a military if you kill on behalf of rich people, and a terrorist if you kill on behalf of poor people.

  • D. C. Sessions

    Most people use terrorist to refer to non-state actions that commit mass murder for reasons other than profit.

    Which certainly applies to the woman who blew herself up along with a bunch of ISIL troops. ISIL, on the other hand, claims to be (and acts like) a state actor [1]. Thus my observation that the language is being redefined.

    [1] Not the brightest move ever, note. They’re playing our game now, and it’s one we do very well even when the other side is supported by a nominally nobeligerent state. And they’re doing it in desert country rather than jungles. Genius grade this is not.

  • http://www.pandasthumb.org Area Man

    I do not believe it was normal for armies throughout history to murder all the males and rape and enslave all the females when occupying a town. It certainly happened, but even during ancient times it was excessive. Those armies that did it with some regularity, like the Mongols or Timurids, used it as a terror tactic to get others to capitulate. So calling it “terrorism” seems appropriate enough.

  • D. C. Sessions

    I do not believe it was normal for armies throughout history to murder all the males and rape and enslave all the females when occupying a town.

    Among the Biblically Inspired, perhaps more than others.

  • colnago80

    Re D. C. Sessions @ #22

    It is my recollection that that’s what Joshua did after Jericho fell to his army.

  • birgerjohansson

    re. Jericho: That was wishful thinking on the part of the (rather late) authors of the OT. I don’t know if it was written by the “J Source”, the “P Source”, the “E Source” or some other wanker.

  • dingojack

    Like when that Muslim (and necessarily, ‘barbarian’ & ‘terrorist’) Ṣalāḥ ad-Dīn Yūsuf ibn Ayyūb* captured Jerusalem and slaughtered all the Christians in the city and destroyed their churches and shrines…

    Oh wait now — sorry it was the Christian (and necessarily ‘hero’ & ‘good guy’) Balian of Ibelin who threatened the lives and shrine of the Muslim human shields/hostages. My bad.

    @@

    Dingo

    ———

    * Commonly known in the West as Saladin