Bigot Preacher Waxes Poetic About Marriage Equality

Mark Creech of the Christian Action League of North Carolina is “heartbroken” over marriage equality coming to that state, which he calls “evil” and a “tragedy.” He was so upset that he couldn’t sleep, but he has a tale to tell about how God made a solar eclipse just for him and told him everything would be okay.

October 10th marks the infamous day for the Tar Heel state. Judge Max O. Cogburn in Asheville declared in accord with a 4th Circuit Court ruling that North Carolina’s marriage amendment was unconstitutional. The decision was not only egregious, but an act of judicial supremacy. I readily admit I was heart-broken, but it wasn’t as though I was altogether unprepared.

The Lord had spoken to my heart two days before Cogburn ever slammed down his gavel. With the Supreme Court’s inaction and what it would mean heavily on my mind, I awakened about 4:00 a.m. on Wednesday, October 8th, and couldn’t go back to sleep. Restless, I got up and piddled about the house and made myself an early breakfast. I noticed the local television news was reporting a lunar eclipse was taking place. I thought to myself, “I want to see that.” So, in my pajamas and housecoat, I made my way outside to see this glorious display in the heavens. I must say the sight of it was other-worldly, awesome, and even breathtaking.

Then, while watching the earth’s shadow fall across the moon’s surface, I heard the sweetness of God’s voice. “See Mark,” the Lord said, “the light may be eclipsed for a time, but be assured the light of God always returns to shine.”

To all of my friends and colleagues in North Carolina and other states negatively impacted by the US Supreme Court’s indecision – a choice that opened the door for gay marriage in 11 more states. Let me say that if you’ve been like me, confused, depressed, and sometimes even angry at the recent turning of events, then take a lesson from the lunar eclipse: “The light may be eclipsed for a time, but be assured the light of God always returns to shine.”…

What has happened is a terrible tragedy – an evil – an injustice in our day. But God makes all things beautiful in its appropriate time, meaning even death, war, killing, the escalation of wickedness, and yes, even the atrocity of legalizing same-sex marriage. God turns it. He makes it all work beautifully to accomplish His purposes in the end. We may not understand it. Nevertheless, He remains lovingly sovereign over it. We can trust Him in all things.

The light may indeed be eclipsed for a while, but the brightness of God’s light will always return to shine.

*pats Mark on the head* You just keeping telling yourself that, sunshine.

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  • hunter

    One can also interpret that to mean that the light has been eclipsed, but thanks to the Supreme Court and “judicial supremacy” (which is a fact of the American legal system, so get over it), it is shining again.

  • D. C. Sessions

    Some things never change — such as shamans claiming that there’s some profound magical significance to an astronomical event that occurs with such regularity that our distant ancestors thousands of years ago knew when the ones we recently had would happen.

  • grumpyoldfart

    I, too, heard the “sweetness of God’s voice.” He said

    “Behold, I will corrupt your seed and spread dung upon your faces.” (Malachi 2:3 KJV)

  • ahcuah

    Restless, I got up and piddled about the house . . .

    My dog gets up and piddles around the house.

    And then I have to go clean it up. This seems similar.

  • Hercules Grytpype-Thynne

    Restless, I got up and piddled about the house

    When our dog does that we slap him on the nose and make him go outside.

  • dhall

    #4 – I was thinking the same thing; the guy needs Depends.

  • matty1

    @1 That’s the great thing about this kind of thinking all explanations are equally plausible. Fortunately we know the real divine message was that Mark Creech should seek medical advice about his piddling.

  • John Pieret

    Bigot Preacher Waxes

    Whut is he, one of them transsexular girly-men who dresses up in wimmens’ clothes and ‘n stockings ‘n all?

  • suttkus

    Similarly, any minute now, God’s light will shine through and we’ll go back to recognizing how horrible inter-racial marriage is. Any minute now. Just you wait!

  • dingojack

    Wouldn’t it be wanes and then waxes lyrically?*

    (Never mind Ed I’ll forgive your terrible pun, far be it from me to take umbrage).

    😉 Dingo


    * actually, as the moon is at new moon it is neither waxing nor waning. Waxing will occur in the days after, waning in the days before, the eclipse…

  • Crudely Wrott

    I awakened about 4:00 a.m. on Wednesday, October 8th, and couldn’t go back to sleep. Restless, I got up and piddled about the house and made myself an early breakfast. I noticed the local television news was reporting a lunar eclipse was taking place.

    –Mark Creech

    The eclipse occurred on the evening of October 23. In North Carolina the eclipse began just before sunset. The sun, and the interloping moon, dropped below the horizon well before totality. There is no way that Creech could have seen the moon’s shadow leave the solar disk. I know. I’m in NC and I was watching with my homemade pinhole projector.

    Lying liars gotta lie. Even as performance art this lie sucketh mightily.

  • dingojack

    Mark Creech? Wasn’t he in some terrible 80’s sitcom?

    Dearest Marcy-poo (you don’t mind me calling you that, do you? You do? Tough.) –

    Go to Chicago on Tuesday. Remove your head from your rectum and look up around 3:30pm to sunset. Try and figure how the fuck planetary physics wurks! Moran!



  • dingojack

    I meant last Tuesday. (And HE”S supposed to be one who is a moran!)

    😀 Dingo

  • lpetrich

    Last Thursday’s solar eclipse was a partial one everywhere. I followed it at and Griffith Observatory’s site, and I got a brief view of it when some lower clouds cleared. The Sun shone through some upper clouds, and it looked fuzzy, but it looked like it had a bite out of it to the north — the appropriate direction.

    Two weeks before that, there was a total lunar eclipse, and I saw that one also.

  • dingojack

    I wonder what god will be telling him at around 2:47pm on 21 August, 2017?


  • dingojack

    Meanwhile … here at the ‘arse-end of the world’.


  • cry4turtles

    Guess gawd also wrote the Farmers Almanac, and my calender too, and my hubby’s fishing calendar, in addition to the babble. Lots of writing going on up there in teh hevins.

  • anubisprime

    All that piddling about…fuckin’ embarrassment dude!

  • eamick

    @11: You’ve got your eclipses confused. A solar eclipse occurred on the 23rd; he was referring to the lunar eclipse two weeks before that.

  • dingojack

    earmick – “… he does it [being a fool] with a better grace, but I do it more natural.” *



    * Twelfth Night. Will Shakespeare

  • Crimson Clupeidae

    Did you skip the end, or did he forget the part about how sending him money will make it all better? (for him, obviously)