Pat Robertson: Christians Can Raise the Dead

Pat Robertson responded to a viewer’s question by saying that he and other Christians have the power to raise the dead but “we just aren’t using it.” Okay, Pat, that’s an entirely testable claim. Let’s take you and anyone else who thinks they do that down to the morgue and you do whatever you think you have to do to make the corpses come back to life. And when you fail, you admit that you’re full of shit and have been scamming people your entire life and you have to give back your huge fortune to the people you fleeced. You got enough “faith” for that?


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  • John Pieret

    Yeah, but Jesus has to want that person to be resurrected. Strangely Jesus doesn’t want many people to be resurrected. It could take years … and years … to find one of those. Meantime, keep sending donations and that will aid in the search!

  • Marcus Ranum

    Why then do so many christians support capital punishment?? Is death another “revolving door” scenario?? And then what makes the death and resurrection of jesus so all-flippin’ special?

  • Childermass

    I’ll give everything I own to him and do anything for one resurrection.

    I will, of course, have the resurrection in advance.

  • raven

    It’s like the snake handlers.

    God allows them to have authority and immunity over venomous snakes.

    They get bit a lot and occasionally die anyway.

  • Ibis3, These verbal jackboots were made for walking

    If so, why all the fretting* over abortion? They oughta just raise them cruelly butchered innocent widdle baybees.

    *where “fretting” means bombing clinics, assassinating doctors, and murdering women

  • dhall

    So . . . Christians like Robertson will be responsible for the zombie apocalypse when it happens. They’ll just decide to use their powers and wham–Night of the Living Dead, etc., comes true. Now we know the true meaning of the apocalypse they’re always talking about.

  • busterggi

    Well something must be getting Pat out of his coffin every morning

  • D. C. Sessions

    dhall, I knew I’d seen this story before!

  • dan4

    I thought attempting to raise people from the dead was considered witchcraft/necromancy (and thus was forbidden by Christianity).

  • dhall

    #8 – D. C. Sessions. That’s pretty wild; thanks for the link. We ought to send it to Pat and a few others to see if their heads explode.

  • laurentweppe

    Pat Robertson responded to a viewer’s question by saying that he and other Christians have the power to raise the dead

    Given that Billy Graham raises from his bed every morning, there may be more merit to this claim than you’re willing to give it credit for.

  • matty1

    I think we should be willing to listed to Robertson on the subject of zombies, he looks like he speaks from first hand experience.

  • somnus

    @9: Pretty much everything Christians call witchcraft, they and their prophets practice regularly. They just call their incantations “prayer” and their magic “the power of God.”

  • lorn

    And so the zombie apocalypse began.

    Evangelical Christians knowing they have the power but not knowing how to use is properly get it half right.

    Looks like dhall @#6 beat me to it.

  • jnorris

    Forget raising the dead. Why aren’t the good True Christians ™ restoring arms and legs to our veterans and curing Ebola in Africa?

  • D. C. Sessions


    What? And risk their priceless white arses?

  • anubisprime

    The most disturbing thing is that a significant percentage of jeebus droolers will believe it!

    This can only go one way and it will be ugly.

    More kiddies will die of course, because the brain light parents accept Pat’s word as gospel, so matters not a jot if their kids actually, you know die!

    They will, no doubt, be a trifle confused and a tad embarrassed when they can’t resurrect them but will just figure they did not pray hard enough!

    What a class A moron, that vintage is really starting to stink the place out!

  • D. C. Sessions

    There’s always blaming the victim when it doesn’t work.

  • cry4turtles

    I don’t ever want to see a xian crying at a funeral again; especially when they have the power to raise the dead. What da fuck are they waiting for? Do it! Do it!

  • anubisprime

    Yet another creepy angle to this utter nonsense is that not many ,if any, moderate xtians have caned him for spouting absolute gibberish!

    He simply gets away scot free and worshipped for it.

    The moderate jeebus fans. including the major delusions, seem very content to let their delusion become an absolute laughing stock to the rest of the world …so much so that they do not even flicker a eye lash let alone flicker a realization that Pat is a complete moron.

    They all seem to subscribe to the attitude of the White Queen…

    “Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”

    One more dollop of extra sticky and extremely toxic odorous bullcrap from Pat does not seem to disillusion any of them at all…

  • Robin Lionheart

    It’s not that Pat isn’t a level 5 cleric, he just doesn’t want to spend the 5000 gp.