Wiles: Halloween Causes Demonic Possession

Did you take your kids trick or treating last week? Did they come back possessed by demons? I don’t mean a sugar buzz, I mean real, actual demons — you know, the kind that don’t actually exist. Rick Wiles thinks you have no one but yourself to blame, you should have known it would happen.

After arguing that Christians cannot participate in Halloween traditions like dressing up in costumes or trick-or-treating because the day is “dedicated to Lucifer and death,” Wiles said that those who partake are “opening yourself up to demonic possession.”

“The demons are moving, they’re stirring in this country right now,” he warned.

“I am admonishing you to stop it, come out of it, do not be part of pagan America’s rituals, walk away from it, disavow it, renounce it, it is evil, it is wicked,” he added, regretting that “they are doing the most vile acts on live television,” including what he perceived to be “live demonic rituals on television shows.”

“The demonic spirits are moving about in this country.”

Yeah, you might wanna stop watching scary movies. They aren’t real.

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  • http://www.electricminstrel.com Brett McCoy

    My kid was already possessed

  • roggg

    My youngest caught a bad case of Cthulhu last year. I wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss if I were you.

  • raven

    “I am admonishing you to stop it, come out of it, do not be part of pagan America’s rituals,

    Both Xmas and Easter are stolen Pagan holidays just as much as Halloween.

    The brighter among the fundies even know that. The hard core snake handlers won’t even use the word Easter any more. They call it “Resurrection Sunday”.

    (AKA known as Zombie Uprising Day but they get upset if you call it that.)

  • lofgren

    Demonic rituals are about the only thing I watch live anymore. The commercials are just awful but I can’t stand the suspense if I DVR it.

  • grumpyoldfart

    Probably no more than half of the American population believes that demons are real. What harm could they possibly do?

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    The demonic spirits are moving about in this country.

    Ah hah! Spirits! That’s why I saw all those Boo-Hauls on Halloween!*

     

    * This joke provided by Jokes Your Father Would Make.

  • http://www.thelosersleague.com theschwa

    My kid DID get possessed. I wonder if it was from that house that gave out dead Christian babies as treats? (BTW, the blood ruined the M&Ms in the bag. Lousy witches!)

  • raven

    Demonic rituals are about the only thing I watch live anymore.

    Sure.

    They make great Reality TV shows. My favorite is Dueling Wizards where they each call up a demon and then try to possess the other.

  • John Pieret

    Boy, it’s great to live in the most developed country in the world where science and modern medicine have banished superstition and ignorance. Maybe, someday we in the US can enjoy something like that.

  • Chiroptera

    After seeing how those kids tore into the candie bowl, I’m not so skeptical about demonic possession any more.

  • dhall

    ‘“The demons are moving, they’re stirring in this country right now,” he warned.’

    And here we are, in 1014. Or even 1614. We’re even killing witches again. The American Medieval Era, brought to you by regressive grifters and their seriously under-educated followers.

  • DaveL

    Demonic spirits? You mean tequila, right?

  • busterggi

    Halloween causes demonic posession! And here I thought it was just the opposite. See, religion does make scientific advances.

  • Taz

    The demons are moving, they’re stirring in this country right now

    And most of them look like Elsa from Frozen.

  • Die Anyway

    I don’t think Rick Wiles’ message is getting through to the mainstream churches, or even to many of the off-brands. In my area, and I assume elsewhere in the country, the kids no longer come around trick-or-treating because their parents all take them to Halloween parties at church. And if you want to buy a pumpkin, guess who has the biggest selection? Yep, the church fundraisers.

  • magistramarla

    Yeah, I had some “demonic spirits” on Halloween night after I gave out treats to the kiddies.

    Hubby made us a few drinks and I passed out. Those were some pretty tasty “demonic spirits”.

  • jws1

    All this far right-wing hysteria over Halloween makes me even more happy that I married my long-time (10 years at the time) girlfriend last October 31st.