Ladies and Gentlemen, Uncle Tom Kinchlow

As a kid, I really liked Ben Kinchlow, I’m now embarrassed to say. Used to watch him as the co-host of the 700 Club almost every day. But he’s the one who should be embarrassed about his writing, which ranges from the absurd to the inane. That’s especially true of his latest column at the Worldnetdaily, wherein he proposes a “solution” to accusations of racism against the police.

Could there possibly be a simple solution to this problem? Based on positions articulated by several spokesmen over the last several days alluding to the “race issue” regarding cops and “da hood,” I believe there is.

In a WND column several weeks back, I introduced a simple one-step solution that would instantly and permanently eliminate charges of “racism” in local law enforcement departments, terminate charges of “racial harassment” by police, stop black teens from being killed by “racist white cops,” end charges of “police brutality” articulated by civil rights leaders and pastors, prevent police having rocks and Molotov cocktails hurled at them and eliminate all marches and protests against “racist” white officers.

My solution? No more white cops responding to distress calls in “da hood.”

If no black cops are available, let the residents handle the situation, or wait until one is available. Only black cops would enter black neighborhoods. Bingo! All charges of racism will cease immediately. It’s simple, Let Ferguson, St. Louis, Chicago and other predominately black “hoods” establish white cop no-go zones.

Yes, you moron, because the problem isn’t racism, it’s accusations of racism. If we just stop the accusations of racism, actual racism will cease to exist. I think it’s time for Ben to change his name to Tom.

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  • John Pieret

    Only black cops would enter black neighborhoods. Bingo! All charges of racism will cease immediately. It’s simple, Let Ferguson, St. Louis, Chicago and other predominately black “hoods” establish white cop no-go zones.

    Simpler solution: since wingnuts think all crime is located in minority neighborhoods and there is no longer any white racism, why don’t we just make sure that all police officers are black or Hispanic, with a sprinkling of Asians and other minorities. I’m sure most wingnuts would be fine with a black police officer pulling them over for driving a fancy car!

  • Loqi

    I’m sure most wingnuts would be fine with a black police officer pulling them over for driving a fancy car!

    People driving fancy cars make me nervous. Especially if they have their hands in their pockets.

  • Pierce R. Butler

    No more white cops responding to distress calls in “da hood.”

    Kinchlow has apparently spent the last few years under a rock. With current technology, computers can easily look up the race of each individual who places a 911 call, along with whatever background details the NSA finds pertinent, so that dispatchers can send a customized-profile officer to answer every alert.

    I can just imagine the neighbors in Kinchlow’s otherwise-vanilla suburb seeing a black police officer cruise by and telling each other, “Ben’s got some troubles again…”

  • mmfwmc

    Of course, to fully implement this, black people won’t be able to live in – or even visit – white neighborhoods. Also, schools will have to accept only white or black students. We can call it separate but equal and safer.

  • vmanis1

    It’s called a ghetto.

  • http://drx.typepad.com Dr X

    Refusing to respond to calls for help in predominantly black neighborhoods would surely eliminate accusations of racism.

  • http://motherwell.livejournal.com/ Raging Bee

    In other words, this asshole is openly advocating that whole communities be punished for criticizing the cops, by declaring open season for criminals. Sort of like KKK terrorism without the white sheets.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    This cuts both ways. When Ben Kinchlow calls 911, they’d send an asshole.

  • comfychair

    There’s a long, long, ugly history of this very thing, of which it seems (I hope?) the author is completely unaware. That of using members of the oppressed group to carry out the oppression, as psychological multiplier. I’m a dumb ex-mechanic from Mississippi with no higher education and even I know a little about these things. What’s Ben’s excuse?

    The only alternative to Ben being fully disconnected from the world he lives in is that he does know the history, and thinks that the Polish Ghettos were fine, orderly places that taught the inhabitants how to be responsible and respectful members of society.

  • http://motherwell.livejournal.com/ Raging Bee

    A more plausible alternative is that Ben knows exactly what he’s talking about, and really does want to see people punished by undisciplined violence for saying things he doesn’t want to hear.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=523300770 stuartsmith

    Makes perfect sense. If we institutionalize racism at the level of public policy, then it will be obvious to everyone, and no one will need to make any accusations anymore! Problem solved!

  • DaveL

    No more white cops responding to distress calls in “da hood.”

    I hate to break it to him, but I’m pretty sure that’s been tried already. It’s not like police neglect and apathy are novel concepts to the American ghetto.

  • grumpyoldfart

    You could limit the police force to any one ethnic group or any mix of ethnic groups and there will always be control freaks among them. And there will always be a few, just waiting for the chance to waste somebody.

  • http://festeringscabofrealityblogspot.com fifthdentist

    I think we should just let some of the members of President Obama’s super-secret Black Panther Muslim Gestapo Army patrol black neighborhoods. There should be plenty to go around, as wingnuts put their number anywhere from millions to eleventy-billion. Once these vicious Black Shirts disarm all the white patriots — which is coming annnnny day now, any day; really, it is! — and move them all to FEMA happy camps, they will have time and resources to provide law enforcement services in minority neighborhoods.

  • smrnda

    Did he ever wonder that the existence of ‘da hood’ is because of a long history of residential segregation and red-lining?

    There’s also a complete denial that the white cops might actually be racist.

  • thebookofdave

    So institutionalized discrimination is not a problem, only charges of racism. Separate-but-equal police protection sounds like a great solution! Why haven’t we ever thought of that before?

  • scienceavenger

    I introduced a simple one-step solution…

    It’s really remarkable that anyone over the age of 5 could think there was a simple one-step solution to any widespread social problem.

    Oh, and Ben, it’s not a white-on-black problem, its a blue-on-black problem.