God Watches Jim Bakker Bathe

Jim Bakker, the disgraced evangelist con man, is giving out his predictions for 2015. And unlike Pat Robertson, he doesn’t go up into the mountains to commune with God, the Almighty visits him in the bathtub. Sorry ’bout the visual.

He warned, however, that the U.S. military will fail to ever win a war because Americans are “mocking God, taking God out of schools, making it legal to murder the babies, [taking] the Ten Commandments down and literally denying the word of God.”

What if the country we’re fighting against also has legal abortion and is not a theocracy, Jim?


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  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    Well if that’s what turns the Almighty on…

  • StevoR

    Poor God.

    Could even She create Herself enough mind bleach to get that outta Her head?

  • http://www.ranum.com Marcus Ranum

    A top hat? Really?

  • eric

    He warned, however, that the U.S. military will fail to ever win a war

    The last time Congress formally declared war was June 5, 1942. So I think he’s on safe ground in saying we won’t win one, because our miitary isn’t technically going to be in a war, at least in the forseeable future.

  • grumpyoldfart

    Imagine how much he must be paying those flunkies to go along with his ratbaggery?

    Unquestioning ‘devotion’ like that doesn’t come cheap.

  • Childermass

    We lost Gulf War I?

    Yeah it was undeclared, but it was a war nevertheless.

  • matty1

    A top hat with skinny blue jeans and what might be high heels. I wonder if God has been giving him fashion tips?

  • matty1

    I think the losing is an artefact of the kind of wars America fights these days. Gulf War I had a defined goal, the US side could claim victory as soon as Iraqi troops were out of Kuwait. Compare that Afghanistan or Iraq II where the goal was a vague wish to ‘make it better’, how could you even tell what would count as a victory in those cases?

  • eric

    how could you even tell what would count as a victory in those cases?

    I suspect the Cheney criteria was: did Haliburton profits go up?

  • http://motherwell.livejournal.com/ Raging Bee

    …the Almighty visits him in the bathtub.

    Which makes for a good excuse to pretend he can be privy to God’s wisdom without making the slightest effort or sacrifice.

    Why anyone, Evangelical Christian or not, even bothers with this has-been is a mystery. His son had more to offer back in the day — what’s he been up to since “One Punk Under God?”

  • John Pieret

    the Almighty visits him in the bathtub

    We’ve long had reason to think the fundangelical god was a sadist … but now he’s also a masochist?

  • dingojack

    Perhaps Jim got a bit confused … god looks so similar

    @@ Dingo