Wingnuts Declare Jindal Rally a Demon No-Go Zone

As Bobby Jindal runs around talking about those Muslim no-go zones, the collection of extremist weirdos who are putting on his prayer rally this week say that those who plan to protest against it are demon-possessed, so they’ve declared a demonic no-go zone.

On Tuesday, prayers for “those who would stand against us” asked that protesters would experience God’s love from rally participants. On Wednesday’s call, prayer leaders asked God to forgive the protesters, saying “they know not what they do” — language used by Jesus asking God to forgive those who were crucifying him, according to the account in the Gospel of Luke. Martyrdom and crucifixion returned on Thursday’s call, with a call leader praying that God “release” the protesters to God, the way Stephen asked forgiveness for those who were stoning him and Jesus did for those who were crucifying him.

Clearly, Response organizers have embraced the tendency of Religious Right leaders to portray disagreeing with them as a form of persecution. One prayer leader cited the biblical story of God appearing to Saul, who had been persecuting Christians but saw the light and become the evangelist Paul. A woman asked to lead prayer for the protesters prayed that God would similarly release “the angels of the harvest” over them.

Organizers are worried that the protesters, who are planning a rally and activist training, might be a threat. They prayed that God would help police and security officers see any “flanking” or “positioning” maneuvers. One prayed that God would “bind any demonic assignment” and one thanked God that He would send angels to guard the arena where the rally is being held, and declare it a “no-go zone for demons in the name of Jesus.” (That’s a clever reference to Jindal’s recent comments about Muslims, which according to call organizers have stirred up more “anger” and “angst” against Jindal.) “There is a confrontation in the heavenlies going on,” declared one prayer leader.

These are the people Jindal is palling around with to jump start his presidential run.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • dingojack

    Wingnuts Declare Jindal Rally a Demon No-Go Zone

    So … that’ll be their excuse why only a handful turn up to see Jindal.

    😉 Dingo

  • barry21

    A measured response from a keenly thoughtful group.

  • skinnercitycyclist

    “There is a confrontation in the heavenlies going on,” declared one prayer leader.

    Best euphemism since “hiking the Appalachian Trail.”

  • Michael Heath

    barry21 writes:

    A measured response from a keenly thoughtful group.

    Disappointingly, it’s also representative of the rhetoric and beliefs of the denominations to which these conservative Christians belong.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    You laugh, but he has to do things like this. Demons are attracted to the prayers, like mice to whatever the opposite of cheese is.

  • Trebuchet

    It would be interesting to see what would happen if the Republicans actually nominated the non-white, non-Christian (according to many evangelicals) Jindal for president. Then again, they nominated a non-Christian the last time so I guess they’d probably hold their noses and vote for him.

  • http://drx.typepad.com Dr X

    Modus,

    The opposite of cheese is cat.

  • wreck

    I am so confident in their praying ability that I will bet three gajillion dollars that not one demon shows up at their little circle jerk.

  • martinc

    They prayed that God would help police and security officers see any “flanking” or “positioning” maneuvers.

    Such as the use of rational thinking?

  • John Pieret

    wreck:

    I am so confident in their praying ability that I will bet three gajillion dollars that not one demon shows up at their little circle jerk.

    Which is just as well, since, despite their praying ability, no angels showed up either,

  • http://timgueguen.blogspot.com timgueguen

    You can be sure someone out there in the religious right crankosphere will denounce Jindal being nominated because Jindal was born and raised a Hindu, and hence is infected with demons, or something equally silly. Especially since he became a Roman Catholic and not a proper Christian like a Baptist.

  • http://timgueguen.blogspot.com timgueguen

    For that matter Mrs. Jindal apparently wasn’t an American citizen when Bobby was born, as the Jindal family immigrated six months before his birth. Someone is sure to decide that means he’s not a real American, despite being born in the US.

  • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com WMDKitty — Survivor

    Like any self-respecting demon would go to that rally in the first place…

  • tbp1

    For that matter Mrs. Jindal apparently wasn’t an American citizen when Bobby was born, as the Jindal family immigrated six months before his birth. Someone is sure to decide that means he’s not a real American, despite being born in the US.

    You don’t know that only applies to Democrats? IOKIYAR.

  • thebookofdave

    “There is a confrontation in the heavenlies going on,” declared one prayer leader

    Best euphemism since “hiking the Appalachian Trail.”

    Skinnercitycyclist, I think what this preacher is doing is promoting a Battle-of-the-Bands, the kind with Christian music, and enforcers patrolling the audience to make sure no one dozes off during the show.

  • Kermit Sansoo

    Were I a protestor, I would be tempted to carry a sign saying “Frost giants no-go Zone!” or perhaps “Zombie no-go Zone!”

  • shadow

    @16 Kermit:

    Arguably, the attendees are zombies — waiting for Zombie Jesus.