Fischer: ‘Gay Agenda’ Gives Off ‘Demonic Energy’

Bryan Fischer is mad that people turned up to protest at Bobby Jindal’s prayer rally. In fact, he accuses them of being possessed by Satan and says that gay people give off the “the unvarnished energy of Satan himself.” If only we could harness that energy, we could do away with fossil fuels.

Fischer — whose employer, the American Family Association, sponsored Jindal’s rally — took a call from a listener who attended the prayer rally and who asserted that “the Devil is mad [about Jindal’s rally] and that’s why he sent those protesters there” and Fischer, of course, agreed.

“I don’t think you will ever find a more directly demonic energy than when you deal with the homosexual agenda,” he said. “They’re vicious. They are mean. You literally are staring into virtually the unvarnished energy of Satan himself when you come up against the forces that are pushing the homosexual agenda forward.”


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  • Loqi

    My Geiger counter isn’t registering anything coming off my copy of the Gay Agenda. Not is it giving off light, making noise, or heating up. What kind of energy is it giving off?

  • brucegee1962

    I’m really trying to figure out how one would go about putting varnish on energy. Someone please whack Fischer with a copy of “Politics and the English Language.”

  • Sastra

    Yeah. Gay rights advocates are historically unparalleled in how vicious and mean they are — except for them not being violent or anything. But other than that, they’re absolutely the worst.

    Sorry, it’s just not impressive. The unvarnished energy of Satan Himself could probably stand a few coats of something, at least.

  • Loqi

    Wait, the energy is coming off the *people* who support gay rights. Seeing as how we don’t glow in the dark or emit large amounts of gamma rays, I’m going to assume he’s referring to our body heat.

    So there you have it, folks. Fischer and his ilk don’t give off body heat. Yet more evidence that they are ghouls.

  • Raging Bee

    I don’t think you will ever find a more directly demonic energy than when you deal with the homosexual agenda…

    He must have opened the homosexual agenda using Microsoft Project without the proper safeguards.

  • dingojack

    Nah — not ghouls, zombies. As evidenced by their chronic (& acute) need for *moooorrre braaaaiiiinnnnzzz*!

    :) Dingo

  • Trebuchet

    Of course Satin needs to be unvarnished. It would get stiff otherwise. Then again, maybe that’s what they make the Pope’s hat out of.

  • marcus

    Yes, Fischer obviously keeps his evil properly varnished. I mean really, look at that face. That’s at least 15 coats. Scary.

  • John Pieret

    They’re vicious. They are mean.

    I think the energy Fischer is feeling is all the irony meters melting across America.

  • dingojack
  • dingojack

    (seems to be quite a meme)


  • caseloweraz

    No, brucegee1962, you don’t want to worry about how to apply it. Just whomp up a big vat of something, put it in cans and label it “Energy Varnish.” (Add the word “Satanic” if you choose.) Then watch the bucks roll in.

  • d.c.wilson

    Why is that the people who love to talk about how much they dislike other people for being different are always whining about how mean the people they hate are?

  • kantalope

    I’ll build all of you’s a demonic energy detector only $199.99 – sure it works, I assure you.

  • gshelley

    Looks like he deserves a Bryan Fisher Award

  • wreck

    “They’re vicious. They are mean. ”

    Vicious, you hit me with a flower

    You do it every hour

    Oh, baby you’re so vicious

    Vicious, hey why don’t you swallow razor blades

    You must think that I’m some kind of gay blade

    But baby, you’re so vicious

    -Lou Reed

  • RickR

    *Reads Fischer’s rant*

    Wow. Look, I don’t want to Godwin the thread, but…

  • dingojack

    Bryan – Not ‘unvarnished energy of satan’, but rather the ‘French Polished energy of satan’*.

    You’re talking about ‘teh ghey’ here.



    * already got dibs on both as band names!

  • theguy

    “They’re vicious. They are mean”

    As opposed to Adolf Fischsticks, who merely advocates that:

    gay people be thrown in prison

    anybody who advocates for gay rights go to prison

    that gay people’s children be taken from them, possibly via kidnapping

    ad nauseum

    If I lived anywhere near Mississippi, as a practical joke, I’d replace this bastard’s business cards with ones that say “Father of Lies”

  • caseloweraz

    This intense, “directly demonic energy” — it’s measured in wontons, amirite?

  • wreck

    @ caseloweraz #20:

    “This intense, “directly demonic energy” — it’s measured in wontons, amirite?”

    That’s in the metric system. Here in Murka it’s measured in beezlebubs.

  • John Pieret

    Fischer has “clarified” his statement, which was “cherry-picked” by his liberal critics:

    “They are actually captives,” he said. “Prisoners of war, if you will, of the real ultimate enemy that we contending with … Our real struggle is with the unseen forces that are pushing this agenda which is so contrary to the will of God. And so those human beings that are caught up in this agenda and are pushing this agenda and pressing this agenda, they too are victims of the energy and the forces that are behind the entire homosexual agenda. These individuals have been deceived. They have been taken captive by the same forces with which we contend and now he’s manipulating them and using them to represent the agenda that he wants to accomplish”

    No doubt, when he said “They’re vicious. They are mean.” he was talking about the prisoner of war camp guards!

  • lorn

    Fischer prefers his evil varnished … or is it shellacked. Nothing like giving one’s evil a proper shellacking. It’s what all the popular kids are doing.

  • eoraptor

    Wait! Wait! Wait! STOP THE PRESSES!

    Am I the first to report? Bryan Fisher just got FIRED!!

  • felidae

    Demonic Energy! –we could tap into it for an new power source, just like John Galt’s motor tapped into atmospheric static electricity as a limitless free energy source Bryan is a genius, I tell ya!

  • kacyray

    Let’s see how quickly the Ministry of Truth acts to flush Fisher’s rants down the memory hole. Good riddance.

  • dingojack

    “directly demonic energy”? If you run it through a ‘demonic power inverter’ could you get ‘alternatingly demonic energy’? (It’s easier to transmit over distance).

    :) Dingo

  • John Pieret


    Am I the first to report? Bryan Fisher just got FIRED!!

    Not quite … he has had his title as ‘Director of Issue Analysis’ stripped but remains as “just a talk show host,” I bet there is no diminution in whatever he is paid by AFA. In short, it is a cosmetic change to give the RNC some cover.

  • eoraptor

    john Pieret @28


  • caseloweraz

    Wreck (#21): That’s in the metric system. Here in Murka it’s measured in beezlebubs.

    Well, I’ll stick with metric units then. I can’t see a way to construct a bad pun by lamenting the horrendous level of “beezlebub destruction.”