I’m Declaring War on ‘Declaring War’

If the “war on drugs” — read: war on freedom, war on civil liberties, war on the Bill of Rights — didn’t do enough to kill off this political metaphor of declaring war on everything we don’t like, this Worldnetdaily column by Jane Chastain should do the trick. Apparently Obama “declared war” against Alaska by making parts of ANWR off limits for oil drilling.

Finally, Obama has declared war, not on tyrants like Iran’s Ali Khamenei or bullies like Russia’s Vladimir Putin, or even the Islamic militants who are dedicated to our destruction. No, Obama has declared war on Alaska!

On Sunday, just days after Sen. Lisa Murkowski, R-Alaska, released a bill that would permit drilling in a small area in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, the president launched a cruise missile in her direction, aimed at locking up the vast oil reserves in the area forever.

Through his minions, the president announced plans to set aside another 12 million acres in ANWR as “wilderness,” which would effectively eliminate any chance of utilizing this valuable resource.

If there is any issue that unites Democrats, Republicans and Independents in the state, it is opening a small – teeny is more like it – area of ANWR’s coastal plain for drilling.

Little wonder that Alaska’s congressional representatives came out swinging after the announcement. Sen. Murkowski, the new chairman of the Energy and Natural Resources Committee, was taken completely by surprise. She, rightly, wants to know why this administration “is willing to negotiate with Iran but not Alaska.”

Yeah, because that’s not a stupid comparison at all. *eyeroll*

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  • StevoR

    War on war! How very meta and how do ya fight that?

  • StevoR

    War on Alaska. Be careful -those old, cold winters sure do work for the Russiansand Ican’tr s ee why theythey wouldn’t work for Alaska too.

    Well, except maybe global warming .. er overheating. Still.

  • tsig

    Would the war on war be peace?

  • StevoR

    Dangnabbed typos :

    Be careful – those cold, cold winters sure do work for the Russians and I can’t see why they wouldn’t work for Alaska too.

  • Larry

    Winter is kinda the dry season for war. Something was needed between the War on Christmas and the War on Easter to break up that stretch.

  • U Frood

    It is opening a small – teeny is more like it – area of ANWR’s coastal plain for drilling.<

    And then when the oil there is gone, opening up ANOTHER small (probably not as small) area for drilling….

  • StevoR

    @ 5. Larry : Um , ain’t the war on Xmas right in the middle of winter over your way – near the Dec. solstice?

  • caseloweraz

    This sort of metaphor used to be common in business reporting. “The Dow-Jones Industrial Average was pummeled at the close of trading today as a salvo of poor earnings reports demolished confidence on Wall Street.” Thankfully, not so much any more.

    Now we have the president described as someone who “declared war on Alaska” and “launched a cruise missile” at Senator Lisa Murkowski. His plan: “locking up the vast oil reserves in the area forever.”

    Sure, for ever and ever — because Obama’s policies are beyond human power to change, amirite?

    Also, readers may wonder in passing how vast these oil reserves might be, seeing as how they’re expected to lie in “a small – teeny is more like it – area of ANWR’s coastal plain.”

    Here’s a thought: Make Alaska the site of a prototype Gen-IV reactor power plant (after suitable analysis and testing of the design, or course.) There’s plenty of unoccupied land to allay worries. It might even make sense for the government to subsidize the effort, so power from this one plant is free to Alaskans.

  • http://www.aquaticape.org anthrosciguy

    Best “declaring war” clip, from The It Crowd”:


  • http://www.facebook.com/den.wilson d.c.wilson

    She, rightly, wants to know why this administration “is willing to negotiate with Iran but not Alaska.”

    Jon Stewart nailed this one ages ago. If Obama can make deals with some of the most intransigent dictators throughout the world, but not with republicans, maybe he isn’t the problem.

    This kind of hyperbole is actually pretty tame for Worldnutdaily. A cruise missile? That’s it? Usually, they’re ready to accuse him of going thermonuclear on the Bill of Rights.

  • Al Dente

    bullies like Russia’s Vladimir Putin

    Didn’t Chastain get the memo that Vlad is a sweetheart of the Right Wing? Scott Lively needs to explain this to Jane.

  • scienceavenger

    The discussion of this on Fox was fascinating. The only value the GOP commenters saw in the ANWR was the number of people who visited it. Period. “Who cares about all this land no one visits?” was the entire substance of their position. The ecological, scientific blinkeredness was jawdropping.

    As for declaring war on declaring war, can we also declare war on attaching the -gate suffix to all scandals?

  • Crimson Clupeidae

    . She, rightly, wants to know why this administration “is willing to negotiate with Iran but not Alaska.”

    d.c.wilson beat me to it, but I think the correct response from the Obama administration should be to look that person right in the eye, and say “because Iran is more reasonable than you.”

    Then, sit back and watch all the heads assploding.