God is Injuring Kevin Durant Over Nike Endorsement

Came across this bizarre website put up by some guy named Charles Hubbard, who lives in Oklahoma City but has a serious problem with Kevin Durant, star of that city’s NBA team. You see, Durant endorses Nike and Nike is evil because she was the Greek goddess of victory. The site doesn’t have any actual text, only images of text, so I’ll have to take some screenshots. Apparently God is punishing Durant with injuries:

Durant1

Really? What about the other nearly 300 NBA players who have endorsement deals with Nike? And why didn’t God punish Durant before? He’s been with Nike since he was drafted and has had incredible success, winning last year’s MVP award. Why did God let him become one of the greatest players in the league if he’s so mad about it? And why didn’t he keep Lebron James from winning two championships and multiple MVPs? Why didn’t he injure Michael Jordan, the greatest NBA player ever, and prevent him from winning 6 titles and becoming a legend?

Gee, what could it be that might motivate someone to put something up this idiotic? Oh yeah, money.

Durant2

It’s a big ad for Under Armour, the company that tried to sign Durant away from Nike and failed. And by the way, Durant had no choice in this. His previous contract with Nike gave that company the right to match any competing offer he received and he would have to stay with them if they did. When Under Armour made a massive offer they didn’t think Nike would match, they were wrong. It was matched and he had to stay with Nike.

POPULAR AT PATHEOS Nonreligious
What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • John Pieret

    God is my advertising rep?

  • Larry

    Phil Knight is going to be ever so devastated.

  • CR Jackels

    Klay Thompson was wearing Nike shoes when he scored 37 points in the 3rd quarter. Just saying.

  • http://composer99.blogspot.ca composer99

    If Under Armour has the kind of money to fight with Nike over sponsorship deals, then they almost certainly don’t pass the “eye of the needle” test for wealth.

    Just sayin’.

  • CR Jackels

    NBA rules state that players can wear any brand of shoe they prefer, unlike the rest of the uniform where the nba has total control of brands for equipment. Klay Thompson chose Nike. So why was god helping him?

  • gshelley

    Is Kevin Plank even aware of this?

    As far as I can tell, his objection to Nike is they are a rival company

    From their terms of conditions

    “Under Armour suppliers and subcontractors shall not subject any person to discrimination in employment, including hiring, salary, benefits, advancement, discipline, termination or retirement, on the basis of gender, race, religion, age, disability, sexual orientation, nationality, political opinion, or social or ethnic origin.”

    I can’t imagine hubbard aproving of that

  • caseloweraz

    Ed: Why did God let him become one of the greatest players in the league if he’s so mad about it?

    God would have several options. He might afflict the Nike company directly, say by inducing people to buy from competitors like Adidas. Or he might appear to the members of Nike’s board in a dream and convince them to change the company’s name . (I understand that “Vesta” is unclaimed.)

  • dugglebogey

    Why is there a “u” in the “Armour” of Under Armour? The guy is from Maryland, not Liverpool.

  • caseloweraz

    Ed: Came across this bizarre website…

    Bizarre is right! Looks like it’s some data-driven thing that keeps on pushing images at my browser. It’s garbles all the way down!

  • anubisprime

    Apparently God is punishing Durant with injuries

    Well the god advertized does have copious incidences of violence, murder and mayhem on his rap sheet and one could be justified in assuming it was a prominent feature and not a bug…

    Not beyond the bounds of credulity that Yahweh was just having an idle moment pulling legs off spiders and fiddling around with a pro athletes health…sooooo!

  • wildbill

    Does Russell Wilson wear nike shoes? (I think he does, but not sure). If so then god (who was taking a break from punishing nba players) decided to punish the seahawks.

  • lorn

    “God wants Under Armor to produce Love Sportswear to honor Jesus Christ and spread God’s love around the world.”

    WTF does that mean?

    Could someone parse that phrase for me, please.

    It seems to involve an all-powerful being feeling the need to be honored and needing someone to manufacture a particular brand of clothing so said supernatural being can successfully “spread his love”.

    I once shared an apartment building with a gentleman who felt less capable of ‘spreading his love’ without access to and intimate contact with undergarments previously in the possession of certain females.

    Is God concerned with what brand underwear people wear? Does more people wearing the right brand help him ‘spread his love’? Is God a pervert, or is this a matter or projection, possibly magnified by the speaker having a financial interest? Both?

  • John Pieret

    wildbill:

    If so then god (who was taking a break from punishing nba players) decided to punish the seahawks.

    By making Pete Carroll temporarily stupid?

  • thebookofdave

    Klay Thompson chose Nike. So why was god helping him?

    She was, CR Jackels. The smart player always picks the god of victory over a generic god, because home court advantage.

  • notruescott

    So they’re going to honor Venus instead?

  • sezme

    lorn @ #13

    Is God concerned with what brand underwear people wear?

    You’re gonna have to ask a Mormon that question.

  • Childermass

    When I read this yesterday, I should have remembered about another Okie idiot, C. David Parsons “Biblical Scholar and Scientist Extraordinaire.” Because it is bad to use the name of pagan gods, he renames the Apollo missions as Concord thus Neil Armstrong was on Concord 11. Mercury is Tether, Venus is Braker, Earth is still Earth for some reason, Mars is Ruler, Jupiter is Controller, Saturn is Occupier, Uranus is Preventer, Neptune is Exerciser, and Pluto is Restrainer.

    I am not kidding you. It is from his textbooks The Quest for Right.

    And believe it or not, this is about the most sane feature…

  • Trebuchet

    God is actually punishing the team for leaving Seattle.