Klingenschmitt: Bakers are ‘Blessing’ Gay People By Refusing Service

Our old friend Gordon Klingenschmitt, who is now a member of the Colorado state legislature, hasn’t slowed down a bit on recording himself saying egregiously stupid things. On a recent show, he said that bakers who refuse to make cakes for same-sex weddings are “blessing” the gay couples:

After asserting that it is the goal of the government to bankrupt Christian business owners, Klingenschmitt declared that Aaron and Melissa Klein “are being persecuted for righteousness sake” and hailed them “for actually being a blessing to the homosexual community by speaking truth to them and refusing to participate in their acts of sodomy. They are defining right and wrong and saying, ‘We are not going to endorse your sin because it is harmful to you in the homosexual community.'”

Klingenschmitt then went on to pray that Christians will not “manifest the demonic spirit that would endorse that sin” but will have “the freedom to not agree with the Devil.”

Wait, bakers are “refusing to participate in their acts of sodomy”? Does he think that gay people actually have sex with the cake at their wedding receptions? And even if they did, that this somehow forces the person who baked the cake to have sex with them too? The word “bizarre” seems inadequate to describe such inane statements.


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  • flyv65

    As usual, I’m ashamed to say he’s from my state. I do rationalize some of the shame away by pointing out that he represents a district that is a veritable notch in the Colorado Springs bible belt…

  • Tony! The Queer Shoop

    Fuck a damn blessing. They wanted a cake.

  • grumpyoldfart

    Klingenschmitt prays for the continual downslide of the American education system. The lower it goes, the more money he makes.

  • cottonnero

    Shouldn’t it be “Pray in Jesus’ name” or “Pray in Jesus’s name”? (I don’t know what it says about me that, when faced with a giant steaming pile of stupid, I go for the typographical/grammatical error.)

  • wreck

    Hey Gordo. You are a gigantic bigoted sphincter. Hope you appreciate my blessing.

  • scienceavenger

    Blessing them eh? I feel like I’m in an old Cheech and Chong skit: Hey Gordon, see this extended middle finger? That means “bless you my very good friend”.

  • daved

    (I don’t know what it says about me that, when faced with a giant steaming pile of stupid, I go for the typographical/grammatical error.)

    Well, according to “The Elements of Style,” the thing you’re fulminating about is actually acceptable.

  • leskimopie

    Well, to be fair they assume every cake for a gay wedding is like the “Cake ‘n Shake” cake mix from MST3K that includes a Chippendale dancer inside, and they just don’t want to deal with the insurance.

  • petemoulton

    scienceavenger: “You’re Number One with me!” LMAO

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Who knew that taking a wedding cake and swapping out the bride for a second groom or the groom for a second bride were acts of sodomy*?


    * Also in the New Testament, as the Book of Acts [of Sodomy].

  • joe_k

    daved @7: huh? S&W (at least the 1918 edition, which is available online) quite definitely states that possessives have apostrophes. I can’t find anything saying that “In Jesus Name” is acceptable. They do say that Jesus’ is to be preferred to Jesus’s, but that’s not really relevant to cottonero’s point.

    On the original point, no one wants Gordon to participate in their acts of sodomy anyway!

  • U Frood

    I know I didn’t have sex with whoever baked my wedding cake. I’m not even really sure who it was. All I know was it was chocolate.

    I think it’s rather presumptuous of bakers to assume that they are being invited to be a part of the wedding. They’re not. They’re being hired to bake a cake.

  • tbp1

    With some very narrow exceptions, as far as I’m concerned if you claim your business is open to the general public, you should serve anyone who walks through the door with money to spend on whatever goods and/or services you are in business voluntarily to sell.

    And if providing this kind of cake constitutes participating in sodomy, does baking a cake for someone who has been married and divorced constitute adultery? After all, Jesus himself described remarriage after divorce in those terms.

  • John Pieret

    refusing to participate in their acts of sodomy

    Wow! Gordo must have been to some pretty wild weddings if he expects the spouses to be doing the dirty during the reception!

  • Johnny Vector

    I’m picturing Terry Jones (not the preacher) and, probably Graham Chapman…

    “I’d like to purchase a sodomy cake, please.”

    “A what?”

    “A sodomy cake. For my wedding.”

    “I don’t know how to make a….”

    “You know, a sodomy cake, wink wink. As wide as a cupcake, but much much taller, filled with cream and lovingly frosted with santorum.”


    “And instead of cake batter you make it out of silicone.”

  • karmacat

    Gordo seems to be engaging in some wishful thinking. I wonder if he is thinking of baking cakes so he can participate in sodomy

  • cptdoom

    And I’m sure Gordo would claim the doctor in Michigan who, “after much prayer,” decided the lesbian couple was too icky to care for their newborn daughter was actually giving the couple a “blessing” too.


    Remember, this is the world the “religious freedom” crew want. A return to the days of “restricted” businesses, where they have the freedom not to deal with the icky people, while still forcing the icky people to provide them service.

  • whheydt

    One wonders how Klingenschmidt would react to a baker who refused to bake for straight couples, or even just Christian couples….

  • marcus

    whheydt @ 18 Well that’s an easy question to answer:


    Not necessarily in that order.

  • Numenaster

    The end result of this will be some kind of fundie shtetl where they will exile themselves so as not to have to deal with the sinful world outside. Israel’s experience with the Haredim shows up where this ends, and we should stop it NOW.

  • theguy

    “the freedom to not agree with the Devil.”

    Indeed, I disagree with everything that Klingoshit says.

  • whheydt

    Re: theguy @ #21….

    Careful…remember the rule about stopped clocks.