Catholic Priest: God is a Woman

Well this is certainly awkward. An American priest from the Catholic Church, which denies to women even the right to be priests, says that he visited heaven during a near-death experience and found out that God herself is a woman.

A 71-yr-old Catholic priest, John Micheal O’neal has claimed that God is a woman, with a warm and with a comforting motherly figure.

John Micheal O’neal from Massachussetts was said to have been declared dead for more than 48 minutes, he was miraculously revived by medics and had woken up with a shocking revelation that he had gone to heaven and met God.

Reports say Father O’neal was rushed to the hospital on January 29 after a major heart attack, but was declared clinically dead soon after his arrival…

He claims that at that point in his experience, he went to heaven and encountered God, which he describes as a feminine, mother-like “Being of Light”.

“Her presence was both overwhelming and comforting” states the Catholic priest. “She had a soft and soothing voice and her presence was as reassuring as a mother’s embrace. The fact that God is a Holy Mother instead of a Holy Father doesn’t disturb me, she is everything I hoped she would be and even more!”…

Despite the disapproval of his superiors, Father O’neal says that he will continue dedicating his life to God and spread the word of the “Holy Mother”.

Now I’m not entirely sure the news source is legit. It seems to have been picked up by several African news sources, but also by a handful of American ones, so I’m going to assume it’s legit for now. I just wonder if God looked like Alanis Morrissette.

Update: Turns out it’s probably a hoax, as I thought possible but could not confirm when I wrote this.

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  • Donnie

    “Dogma”, for the win. Nice pull…..

  • eric

    Now I’m not entirely sure the news source is legit.

    Hemant says its a hoax. It appears the picture of the priest is just a stock picture from Shutterstock. Also, the same source publishes articles such as “World Famous Taj Mahal to Be Turned into 5-Star Hotel.” IOW, basically a Weekly World News type of rag.

  • dingojack

    Alanis Morrissette? That’d be ironic.


  • Dr X

    Eric beat me to it. The story sounded like bullshit and he looked older than 71, so I ran a google image search and found a stock photo at dreamstock.

  • justawriter

    Reminds me of the old joke where Jesse Helms died and his old friend Strom Thurmond was there to meet him at the Pearly Gates. “You’re gonna love it here, Jesse,” Strom said. “But you’ll have to watch what you say because I met god the other day and she’s black.” (the original version of the joke used cruder descriptors)

  • Raging Bee

    Alanis Morrrisette? No, he said the Goddess had a “motherly figure,” so maybe she’d look more like Jennifer Love Hewitt, or possibly Kim Kardashian.

    As for how much difference this “revelation” will make, I’m guessing not much. This is the Catholic Church we’re talking about — they have a rigorous vetting process for claims like this, and nothing will get by it that doesn’t fit their pre-existing dogma. My guess is they’ll say he mistook the Virgin Mary for God; or had impure thoughts when dead, for which he has to do some sort of penance. And if he doesn’t recant, he’ll be prayerfully thrown under a Vatican City bus.

  • heddle

    This is yesterday’s news to anyone who read The Shack.

  •!/TabbyLavalamp Tabby Lavalamp

    Even if this wasn’t a hoax, the concept of a gendered monotheistic god, and one who looks human at that, makes no friggin’ sense.

  • Pierce R. Butler

    Fr. John Micheal O’Neal didn’t got to Heaven, he just went back 25,000 years!

  • cjcolucci

    How does one determine the sex of a non-physical being? You can’t lift up God’s robes to see what is under them. There’s no there there. Perhaps such a being might choose for convenience to manifest itself to human observers in a human form, which, unless He or She chooses to manifest as Saturday Night Live’s “Pat,” will likely suggest one gender or another — though there is precedent for manifesting as a burning bush, which would not suggest a gender except to some of the creepier of us. But when this being decides to manifest Itself to organisms that do not have genders, all bets are off.

  • anat

    The burning bush was grammatically masculine in Hebrew, FWIW.

  • dingojack

    Anat – It’s also masculine in Latin too (Exodus 3:2), and Pliny’s Naturalis Historia (17,96 & 24,117), and Vergil’s Gregorics (3,315), and Livy’s History of Rome (23,30), and Sextus Propertius’ Elegies (3,13).

    Then again Rubus (a thorn-bush, a blackberry) is a second declension masculine noun.



  • Marcus Ranum

    I bet he’s been hating the heirarchy his whole life and now that he’s looking at the end of his career he’s decided to have some fun.

  • Callinectes

    How often does a faithful person have a hallucination or NDE that doesn’t confirm their particular beliefs or those of their culture? I don’t know that it’s ever happened.

  • anubisprime

    The moral of the story seems to be that religious belief is so tenuous and delicate that a word, an idea, even a drawn image can be deemed offensive and lacking due respect.

    That sensitivity covers the whole shebang from Xtianity to Islam to Judaism to any version thereof, and it has been a feature for over 2ooo yrs at a minimum…and probably extends back even further to Egypt …Greece…etc etc…

    It is but passing odd that anyone that feels moved can claim any fatuous balderdash, and brain dead assertion and any nonsense and no one laughs in public…or rarely points out the utter idiocy involved in the media.

    That the actual evidence is absolutely non-existent allows some folks to make up and invent tales that they would like to be true rather then the tale actually being true, congregations up and down the country nod their heads in sage agreement and awe at the fiction becoming flesh… true story.

    If anyone actually steps outside the doctrinal pathways in their bullshite…then they are obviously suffering from illness, disease, drug or alcohol dependency and are neatly ignored like an embarrassing nutty Uncle or Aunt…

    If however they reiterate the tenets of the cult nearly dot matrix by dot matrix in detail… they are miraculously hailed as prophets and blessed by some holy one as a proof positive that they are all on the right track.

    And because they are on the right track, apparently, there is a shit load of cash at the end of that rainbow on the inevitable book of the ‘experience’…now that is a gift alright, and not necessarily from god!

    If O’neal had played the game he would be fairly financially solid by now…but methinks he has blown it by being a greater dumbfuck then his supposed boss…!

  • WMDKitty — Survivor


    The gods come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and genders.

  • Matthew Harris
  • felidae

    Religions with god the mother are generally a lot more fun than those with god the father

  • caseloweraz

    Oddly, I looked at the top picture on Snopes and I thought, “My god — it’s Margaret Thatcher!”