‘Coach’ Dave is Not a Katy Perry Fan

“Coach” Dave Daubenmire is highly agitated by the Super Bowl halftime show by Katy Perry. Me, I was just mildly annoyed by it because she absolutely sucked in every possible way, but not “Coach” Dave. He thinks the whole thing was demonic and satanic and all that rot.

“It was really a satanic performance that was put on,” he said. “I don’t know if you know it or not, the deviousness of that whole things, folks. Now they had those little dancing sharks out there, now Katy Perry is appealing to the younger generation … The deviousness of the NFL and whoever controls the NFL to put Katy Perry on there with that clearly demonic halftime show, wow, we live in unbelievable times.”

Of course. I mean, what could be more satanic than dancing sharks?


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  • Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden

    Yeah, I found left shark particularly demonic in its work ethic.

  • Pierce R. Butler

    I didn’t see any of this.

    Did Ms Perry jump the dancing sharks?

  • eric

    If dancing sharks are demonic, then Jimmy Buffet must be beelzebub himself. “Fins to the left” must clearly be a call to engage in gay sex or something.

    IIRC didn’t Perry’s superbowl performance go with the pseudo-Egyptian theme she used in her video? Osirac? Isisiatic? Maybe…demonic? Wrong pantheon.

  • http://www.facebook.com/den.wilson d.c.wilson

    “what could be more satanic than dancing sharks?”

    Sharks with frickin’ lasers on their frickin’ heads.

  • Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden

    [Off Topic:]


    Um, where can I find a readable image of your avatar?




  • http://www.facebook.com/den.wilson d.c.wilson
  • Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden

    Thank you.

    I thought the legs on the woman lounging on the military cot looked a bit skinny.

  • John Pieret

    C’mon! What could be more satanic than a giant metallic lion (or tiger or bear) with red eyes?

    Sheesh! Don’t you people know anything about Satan?

  • briandavis

    Coach Dave hasn’t been happy since the last time Up With People performed at the Super Bowl. Bland and non-threatening is where it’s at!

  • http://motherwell.livejournal.com/ Raging Bee

    I don’t think it’s the sharks that upset him — I think it was the fact that they were dancing for a chick instead of eating her. THAT’S A CRIME AGAINST NATURE!!!

  • caseloweraz

    Daubenmire: Now they had those little dancing sharks out there, now Katy Perry is appealing to the younger generation…

    I guess “Coach” Dave thinks they should have been big sharks, and that Katy Perry should be appealing to the older generation.

  • https://www.facebook.com/joseph.sexton.7 Joseph Sexton

    Hmmm. The background behind Coach Doofus reads, “the Salt of the Church”. Got me thinking. Great pairing. Church and salt are both harmful in all but the tiniest doses.

  • http://raisinghellions.wordpress.com/ Lou “Weegee” Doench,

    “Sucked in every possible way.”

    Come on Ed, have you forgotten NSYNC and Aerosmith? The Black Eyed Peas? Fine you don’t like Katy Perry, no one will try and make you. But Hers was far from the worst thing the Super Bowl halftime show has visited upon us. Frankly I find the lengths that some people go to slag on Katy Perry a little distasteful and bordering on sexism, as if the fact that she makes music that appeals to young girls (my 10 year old loves her) is somehow de facto evidence of her worthlessness. Not accusing you Ed, not at all. Just making you aware that there are really shitty reasons for hating on Katy Perry beyond the evident Satanic nature of left shark.

  • bryanfeir

    As I’ve noted before, part of the reason the serious theocrats hate Katy Perry is because Katy Hudson escaped their grasp after doing one gospel album. (Perry being her mother’s maiden name.)

  • Alex

    She sure didn’t make a deal with the devil to trade her soul against singing skills…

  • busterggi

    How dare a twenty-something entertainer target her own generation as fans!

  • marcus

    IANAMC, but I’ll throw in my 2 cents. I do not care at all for hardly any pop music, most of it gives me a headache. I think Roar is kind of fun and with a decent message for the young ones and if they like it then fine, I understand that I am not the target audience. (Neither are you Ed.)

    PS I thought the giant puppet was pretty cool.

  • lorn

    On the up side it is very thoughtful of Coach to have a cross on his cap and shirt, otherwise we might forget who he is speaking for.

  • ledasmom

    I remember when Up With People* did the Super Bowl halftime shows. Anything looks good after that.

    *Or, as we called them, “Upchuck With People”. My family is sophisticated as hell.