‘Ex-Republican’ Beck Publicly Fellates Ted Cruz

Last week Glenn Beck declared to all the world that he was no longer a Republican. This week, he’s publicly spooning with Ted Cruz as he runs for the Republican nomination for president. Seriously, they’re acting like junior high schoolers who are newly going steady:

Beck’s entire program last night was dedicated to hailing and defending Cruz. Today, Cruz once again called into Beck’s radio show where he declared that he is “very proud” to “stand together happily” with Beck while making his run for the White House.

After declaring that his presidential announcement was “electric” and “inspiring,” Cruz told Beck that it was made even better by the fact that “the very first voice I spoke to after the announcement speech was you.”

After Beck noted that “being our friend” might not necessarily be a good thing for Cruz’s campaign, Cruz assured him that “I am very proud to dance with who brung me.”

“We will stand together happily,” Cruz promised.

Then they exchanged purity rings.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • thecontortionist

    I couldn’t think of a couple more suited for each other.

  • Loqi

    This is the beginning of the worst rom com ever.

  • busterggi

    Someone needs to tell Beck that in Cruz’s Dominationist theocracy Mormons will be burned as heretics.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    It’s like The Odd Couple, if both characters were the same.

  • lofgren

    I’m picturing them gripping each other’s hand and exchanging a look of deep respect and mutual understanding as they fly over the edge of a cliff in a powder blue convertible.

  • http://skepticink.com/backgroundprobability/ Damion Reinhardt

    As vile as these guys are, explicit homophobia isn’t a good look.

  • Lady Mondegreen

    Cruz assured him that “I am very proud to dance with who brung me.”

    How dare he use Molly Ivins’ line. That shitweasel.

  • lorn

    Damion Reinhardt @6:

    I agree. The homosexual inference is a bit more funny given their objections to gayness but there really needs to be some way of referencing their disgusting display of cloying and opportunistic political affection without implying that homosexuality might be anywhere near as ugly or unnatural as that performance.