Arizona Senator Suggests Mandatory Church Attendance

I’ve long said that if you want to find the real wellspring of wingnuttiness, you need to look at the state legislatures. Arizona state Sen. Sylvia Allen said during debate on a gun bill that we should have mandatory church attendance, which would make guns unnecessary. Here’s the video:

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  • karmacat

    The upside of making church mandatory is that it could lead to a faster death of religion. Mandatory attendance would just lead to resentment and anger with the church.

  • John Pieret

    Heh! Arizona state senator Sylvia Allen (R-Snowflake) … and isn’t she a special flake!

    Once again the Republicans prove they are the party of small government focused like a laser on economic issues.

  • Kamaka

    Just another holier-than-thou moralizing bully, spewing drivel she thinks makes some kind of sense.

    Why would you wish that on me? Church is fucking boring and the clergy are presumptuous and creepy.

  • Modusoperandi

    This is a good sign. The economy must be doing well if Republicans have the time to advocate repealing the First Amendment while discussing the Second.

    It is a bit odd, though, that with America’s Judeo-Christian values she’d be for making it on Sundays(*1). I assume that because everyone willl get to attend a church of their choice(*1) it’s okay.


    *1 Arizona Senator Sylvia Allen Vilified for Suggesting Law That Would Make Church Attendance on Sundays Mandatory(*2)

    *2. Vilified!

  • blf

    Pasta consumption would increase significantly.

    Are there enough beer volcanoes?

    (I don’t think she said which “church” one has to attend…)

  • Dr X

    Look, we’re either going to ram Jesus down your throat or a gun. “Neither” is not an option.

  • theguy

    What happens if you get kicked out of “mandatory” church for making snarky comments and refusing to take anything seriously?

    Also, I really hate the assumption that any “moral decline” (how would that even be measured, exactly?) is because of lack of religion. We have indeed seen a decline in religious identification, but it roughly correlates with a 20-year drop in the crime rate.

  • kantalope

    I think she is on to something here – who ever heard of church attending people ever committing a crime: you know aside from the kiddiediddlers in the Catholic church, all those lutherans in Nazi Germany, the inquisition…err um nevermind.

  • D. C. Sessions

    There’s plenty fo precedent for this. Both Elizabeth I and her half-sister Mary made church attendance mandatory on pain of death. The only problem was that they coudn’t agree on which church to require.

    Arizona could solve this by having a series of votes to decide which church to make the official State church and which times to make mandatory. Keep voting until only one is left standing.

    And, yeah, I’m no longer an Arizona resident. Now you know why.

  • anubisprime

    Arizona Senator Suggests Mandatory Church Attendance

    A mandatory kick up the backside would seem to be the proper response to a drooling for jeebus wannabe with scant understanding of her own countries constitution.

  • busterggi

    As long as she adds the provision that the sabbath laws must be enforced so no more pro sports played on Sundays.

  • grumpyoldfart

    They tried that in England years ago. People could be fined for non-attendance; have their property confiscated, or be imprisoned. (Google Recusancy Law)

  • John Pieret


    People could be fined for non-attendance; have their property confiscated, or be imprisoned.

    And, IIRC, that was one of the reasons the Puritans fled England (you had to go to the CofE or be fined), ultimately winding up in Massachusetts where, as any good Christian wingnut will tell you, they set up the American ideal of freedom of religion.

  • anubisprime

    To be fair Grumpy @ 12…the idea was mainly to kick the Brit katoliks’ firmly in the nuts…so one has approve of that attempt…if not the mechanism.

    But madam has another agenda, summat to do with turning Arizona into a theocracy.

    All will be well and jeebussy if she gets her nonsensical way and madam will be in rapture land I am sure, until the movers and shakers of the ecclesiastical hierarchy tells her to waddle her fine tush back to the kitchen and make the sandwiches bring a few cold ones…oh and shut de fuck up!

  • whheydt

    Mandatory church?

    Step 1: Send a check to the ULC for an ordination.

    Step 2: Declare my house to be a “church”.

    Step 3: Tell local authorities that I want tax exemption for my “church”.

    Step 4: Set services at 4AM. Service requires everyone to sleep through it (exemptions granted as needed).

  • markmckee

    As Karmacat said at the beginning. Such laws would lead to the death of religion. This can be seen when you look at (western) nations that historically had national religions.

    Today, those countries tend to have substantial pluralities of atheists.

    Contrast with the USA which has been a stickler for separation and “tolerance”.

  • eamick

    And note that she thought people should attend the church of their choice on Sunday. Jews? Muslims? Never heard of ’em.

  • Pierce R. Butler

    … which would make guns unnecessary.

    Unpossible – here in the Land o’ the Free™, guns are always necessary!

  • John Pieret

    Jews? Muslims? Never heard of ‘em.

    But I bet she’ll wax poetic on how America became great because of its Judeo-Christian ethics.

  • Area Man

    It’s a good thing we have so many Patriots who are constantly running the country down.

  • Synfandel

    Mandatory church attendance would make guns unnecessary? Kinda takes the thrill out of hunting if the deer voluntarily drop dead at your feet.

  • fifthdentist

    I’m so glad she is so eager for a return to biblical morality. As a woman presuming to have authority over men, she must be stoned to death.

  • gopiballava

    I’ll support her mandatory church attendance if she’ll agree to banning guns within 3 years. I assume it will be OK to pray as Jesus commanded in Matthew 6:5-6.

  • sabrekgb

    @23 gopiballava

    Let’s just do neither :/

  • lorn

    You think I’m grumpy now? Stuff me into a pew for an hour and see how it goes.

  • dingojack

    earmick (#17) – no, no you don’t understand. The Mosque (of your choice) on Fridays, the Synagogue (or your choice) on Saturdays, then the Church (of your choice) on Sundays — Work Monday to Friday.

    See, there’s no time to shoot anyone! @@


  • samgardner

    Why are you guys oppressing their religion by objecting to a law that forces everyone to attend church?


  • davem

    One of my ancesors was fined 6 pence for playing cards during a (compulsory) chuch service. It obviously worked well :0) I feel he and I have something in common.

  • Al Dente

    davem @28

    One of my ancesors was fined 6 pence for playing cards during a (compulsory) chuch service. It obviously worked well :0) I feel he and I have something in common.

    Back then six pence was real money. A journeyman carpenter or mason usually made a shilling a day during Elizabeth I’s reign, so six pence was half a day’s wage for a skilled workman.