Hagee: God is Controlling the Sun and the Moon to Warn Us

John Hagee preached a sermon about all that blood moon bullshit he’s pushing (and apparently stole from Mark Blitz). He declares that the blood moons are a warning from God of a great cataclysm and perhaps the “end of the age,” i.e. the end times.

“Is this the end of the age?” Hagee asked during a recent sermon, before quoting Acts 2:19-20: And I will show wonders in Heaven above and signs in the Earth beneath, the sun shall be turned into darkness and the moon into blood before the coming of the great and awesome day of the Lord.”

“I believe that the heavens are God’s billboard, that he has been sending signals to planet Earth,” he explained. “God is literally screaming at the world, ‘I’m coming soon.'”

Hagee predicted that the four eclipses were signaling a “world-shaking event that will happen between April 2014 and October 2015.”

“God sends plant Earth a signal that something big is about to happen! He’s controlling the Sun and the moon right now to send our generation a signal, but the question is, are we getting it?”

God is controlling the sun and the moon? Then why are the things that are happening so in line with the laws of physics and celestial mechanics that we have predicted their occurrence down to the minute for decades? Isn’t it incredible how God’s actions don’t deviate at all from what our scientific models have predicted perfectly for a very long time? And since the sun “turns to darkness” quite regularly and predictably, why is this eclipse suddenly a message from God?

And of course,the moon is not “turning to blood,” the light from the eclipse looks reddish as it comes through earth’s atmosphere. That’s it. No big mystery to explain, only an opportunity for a con man like Hagee to sell this ignorant twaddle to his credulous followers.

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  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    Well I do remember when God was texting while controlling the Moon, and nearly hit an old lady crossing the street.

  • dingojack

    “God is literally screaming at the world, ‘I’m coming soon.’”

    Is that before or after he shouts:

    ‘Oh me, oh ME!, OH MEEEE!!!

    (Don’t move – I’ll go get a towel)…’

    Dingo

  • blf

    The magic sky faeries haven’t been in control of anything larger than a speck of dust for at least the last 6,000 years — trouble with the Teamstars Union. That Earth-creation job was non-union.

  • dingojack

    Perhaps Ed you need to institute a new award:

    The Golden Tide Award* — for the greatest level of clueless about an easily explainable natural phenomenon…

    Dingo

    ———

    * The inaugural winner was, of course, Mr Glen ‘the tide goes in, the tide goes out‘ Bek.

  • colnago80

    Christians have been claiming for 2000 years that the return of Yeshua ben Yusef of Nazareth is just around the corner. And for each and every one of those 2000 years, it ain’t happened. One might therefore conclude that, just perhaps, their prophecy might just possible not be entirely accurate.

  • colnago80

    Re dingojack @ #4

    It is my understanding that it was Billo the clown O’Reilly who made that statement.

  • D. C. Sessions

    Decades? The eclipse tables were well known to the heathens of ancient Babylon (who may have gotten them from some funny-looking people from their east.)

    So if this warning was so inevitable that the Babylonians knew about it, there’s no escaping the conclusion that all of the other stuff that’s happened in the meantime where humans were supposedly given a choice in the course of events … were totally faked. Bogus. Fixed. Locked in so thoroughly that any illusion of choice was pure deception.

    In other words, lies from beginning to end.

    It follows that Hagee is actually fronting for the greatest sadistic liar EVER.

    Thanks for clearing that up, John.

  • dingojack

    SLC — Yes of course – you’re perfectly correct*! Silly of me!

    I meant, of course, Billotides go in, tides go outO’RLY?, naturally.

    (The plethora of right-wing idiots tend to blur into one another).

    Dingo

    ———

    * as if it were in doubt! :)

  • blf

    The plethora of right-wing idiots tend to blur into one another

    Rather like the tides. With exceptions, its hard to recall a specific one, there is a general sameness to them.

  • roggg

    God is telling the dead dog to play dead. A nice trick for a 4 year old.

  • briandavis

    And since the sun “turns to darkness” quite regularly and predictably, why is this eclipse suddenly a message from God?

    All eclipses are a message from God. The message is, “Peek-a-boo!!”

  • http://artk.typepad.com ArtK

    Huddled together; wailing in terror at the darkness that suddenly came upon them. Welcome to the bronze age.

  • blf

    All eclipses are a message from God. The message is, “Peek-a-boo!!”

    Or the toilet overflowed again.

  • colnago80

    Re dingojack @ #8

    The full quote is, the tides go in, the tides go out, you can’t explain it.

    As Neil Tyson put in on, I believe the Daily Show, we’ve known the explanation for that for 200 years.

  • John Pieret

    As Neil Tyson put in on, I believe the Daily Show, we’ve known the explanation for that for 200 years.

    Yeah, but Galileo got it wrong, so BillyO must be as smart as Galileo!!!

  • Matt G

    Well the sun goes up and the sun goes down every freakin’ day, doesn’t it? Explain that, atheists!

  • Al Dente
  • zevonsky72

    “God is literally screaming at the world, ‘I’m coming soon.’”

    Um, no. “God” is supposedly playing celestial billiards in a manner indistinguishable from no intervention at all.

    If God were “literally” screaming at the world, “I’m coming soon,” then we wouldn’t have to debate whether the Christian God exists.

  • gertzedek

    Yes, Hagee, lunar eclipses lining up with a lunar calendar is sure definitely a sign from God and not a random coincidence. Guess what? Two years ago, Hanukkah fell on Thanksgiving. I think it’s a clear sign of an impending turkey rebellion.

    Also, just realized his “four blood moons in two years” thing doesn’t work if you’re using the Hebrew calendar…you’d have Passover 5774, Sukkot 5775, Passover 5775, and Sukkot 5776. (Unless you were counting from 1 Nisan instead of 1 Tishrei, but that’s only done for a few weird things like the reigns of Israelite kings. Yes, Judaism has multiple New Years. The main one, Rosh Hashanah, falls in the seventh month. The Hebrew calendar is weird.)

  • Crudely Wrott, lurching towards recrudescence

    To be fair, we should consider some alternate scenario. In the interest of kindness we should imagine an earth that orbited its stare once a week. By doing so we would soon see that every event remote from the planet was associated with at least one day of the year. /s

    Proof positive that no one knows shit about how stuff works. At least with a 365 day year there is reason to assume that some days are blameless. /I can’t stop s

  • StevoR

    So what is God (not?) doing about Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn and all the other worlds in our solar system and the unknown near to infinite as makes no difference number of other stars, planets and galaxies he supposedly created at the same time as our pale blue speck then I wonder?

    ***

    “Cosmology also tells us that there are perhaps 100 billion galaxies in the universe and that each contains roughly 100 billion stars. By a curious co-incidence, 100 billion is also the approximate number of cells in a human brain.”

    – Page 237, ‘StarGazer’, Dr Fred Watson, Allen & Unwin, 2004.

    “Something to think about when trying to fathom these numbers : 1 million seconds is about 12 days. One billion seconds is about 31 years.”

    – Stephen Jones, letter in the Weekend Australian newspaper 2011, April 9th-10th.

    “Of the 10 million stars within 1,000 light years of earth, Rigel ranks as number 1, radiating more light than any other. Each minute it [Rigel] casts off more light than the Sun generates in a month.”

    – Ken Croswell, “The Blue Witch” p. 22 in ‘Sky & Telescope’ magazine May-June 2007.

  • StevoR

    Also what was God trying to tell us back in 1859 with the Carrington flare?

    http://science.nasa.gov/science-news/science-at-nasa/2008/06may_carringtonflare/

  • dingojack

    Stevo – perhaps god was telling us the East Sydney Election was rigged. :)

    Dingo

  • busterggi

    You have to remember Hagee is a biblical literalist so to him the sun and moon are merely lights hanging from the solid dome of the firmament above us – there is no spce beyond.