Kasich Waiting for God to Tell Him to Run for President

Like most other Republicans, Ohio Gov. John Kasich says he’s just waiting on God to tell him whether he should run for president or not. Also like most of them, God’s will for them will be remarkably similar to their own because His voice is really their voice.

On Meet The Press, Gov. Kasich said, “My family is a consideration, and number two, the most important thing is, what does the Lord want me to do with my life? You know, he puts us on Earth, all of us on Earth, to achieve certain purposes, and I’m trying to determine if this is what the Lord wants, and I’m not going to figure that out laying in bed hoping lightning strikes, so I’m out there one foot in front of another. We’ll see what happens.”

That is some major league gibberish. He’s out there putting one foot in front of the other. I can only assume that means that he’s talking to big money donors, commissioning polls and consulting with campaign advisers to see if he has any chance of winning. Once he figures that out, he’ll magically get a message from God that just happens to line up with what he finds out. But he’ll only say that God told him to run. If he decides not to run, it won’t be because God didn’t want him to.

And given the track record of all the candidates in 2012 who said God had told them to run, he might want to reconsider listening to those voices. God has almost as bad a track record of political predictions as Dick Morris. Unless, of course, God is intentionally trying make them all fall flat on their faces in front of the whole country. That’s a God I could get behind.

POPULAR AT PATHEOS Nonreligious
What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • StevoR

    He won’t win. Hillary will.

  • StevoR

    I’d rather Dennis Kucinich ran again than this Kasich dude.

  • dingojack

    Who knew fundies worshipped Loki? Or is that Coyote?

    Dingo

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    God told me not to run. It’s like He doesn’t even want me to succeed. Can’t stand the competition, probably. Jerk.

  • ambassadorfromverdammt

    Look. I told him to run. Yet he dithers. I told him to put his best foot forward. Yet, he keeps putting his worst foot in front of his best foot. Over and over. What if I want him to be cannon fodder – that is, someone to draw Media attention from better candidates. I mean, look what happened to Herman Cain when the Media started looking at him. Wasted. Totally wasted.

  • StevoR

    @ ^ ambassadorfromverdammt : The time, the man or both?

  • scienceavenger

    Don’t be too hard on Kasich, when he isn’t Godblathering, he’s pretty reasonable as Republicans go. I know, low bar…but I’d rather have him running than the likes of Cruz or Perry any day.

  • dingojack

    Dear John – I’ve met someone else — (nah, just funnin’ ya!)

    I really, really, really want you not to run.

    I command you to walk slowly, very, very slowly — the wrong way up the middle lane of the nearest multi-lane highway – during rush hour*.

    Thanks a lot —

    GOD

    ——-

    * think of it as being a test of faith, if it makes you feel better

  • Al Dente

    Last election God told Rick Perry, Herman Cain and Michelle Bachmann to run for President. God seems to have a problem with commitment. This supposedly omnipotent being could have made any of those favored candidates the president, but instead he allowed all of them to fail in their bids for the presidency. Is it that God is a practical joker who likes to waste people’s time and money?

  • lldayo

    I can only assume that means that he’s talking to big money donors, commissioning polls and consulting with campaign advisers to see if he has any chance of winning making money on the right wing circuit in the future.

    Fixed that for you, Ed.

  • k_machine

    Maybe god wants all of them to run? If the bible is something to go after, god is a petty little shitheel who’d enjoy people fighting amongst themselves.

  • jack stephens

    Obviously, God wants to see a real “Republican Clown Car” this election. He must have a sense of humor.