The Satanic Energy Drink Lady on Same-Sex Marriage

As the Supreme Court has taken up the same-sex marriage cases, lots of protests and counter-protests have taken place around the SC building. One of the people who showed up was Christine Weick, the woman who infamously made the Youtube video claiming that Monster energy drinks are Satanic. Her pronouncements were predictably absurd.

As the U.S. Supreme Court was preparing to hear arguments on marriage equality on Tuesday, McArdle interviewed protester Christine Weick, who was standing outside the courthouse holding a sign that used the Bible to condemn homosexuality.

“I’m here because I have a passion for God’s word,” she explained. “And I understand we have a situation here where God shows us in the Old Testament an example of nations that go against the word of God.”

“I love my God, and I love my country,” Weick continued. “And it concerns me that if this goes the wrong way, which is against the Bible, that his hand of protection will be leaving this country, and that scares me.”

So why didn’t his “hand of protection” leave the country when the Constitution was written? After all, that Constitution allows non-Christians to lead the government, allows people to worship other gods (which violates the very first commandment) and allows people the freedom to blaspheme and convince people to worship other gods (the punishment for which was stoning in the Bible)? Why hasn’t his hand of protection been withdrawn because we allow divorce or allow women to be in positions of authority over men? All of those things quite obviously “go against the word of God.” So why is it only gay rights that suddenly cause this to happen? Oh right, because you’re a bigot and all of this is just a ridiculous pretext that shouldn’t be taken seriously.

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  • Chiroptera

    Aren’t they always saying that God is going to lift his hand of protection over some thing or another? Just how many hands of protection does God have to lift? Is he one of those deities with all the arms?

  • Doug Little

    Are any of the protesters against marriage equality actually echoing the states argument or are they all religiously motivated?

  • eric

    @1: well, remember, every hurricane, flood, or other natural disaster is him bringing is hand down on us. So it works out.

  • dingojack

    Chiroptera — on one hand he’s a vengeful god, on the other there’s his promise to Noah, and on the third hand …

    :) Dingo

  • dingojack

    God always wins —

    hands down!

    :) Dingo

  • theschwa

    God made Adam and EVE, not Adam and Monster Energy Drink!!!

  • sharonb

    Ooh, and when we outlawed the biblical institution of Slavery.


  • ‘smee

    I’ll happily (for very small values of happy) follow their biblical rules – but first they must all define the rules clearly in modern english, and *they* must first follow them *all* to the letter.

    Do that for a month, even, and I’ll follow them too.

    (I can safely make this guarantee, because it will never happen)

  • sugarfrosted

    I remember that. She doesn’t even get basic facts right. Vov vov vov has a value of 18, not 666. This is like claiming VIII in roman numerals is 5111

  • tsig

    I thought America’s hand of protection was the armed forces. Guess we can disband them ’cause we got Jesus on the job.

  • John Pieret

    You are oppressing Weick and denying her First Amendment right to freedom of religion by pointing out that her passion for God’s word is not consistent and making fun of her. To be in compliance with the First Amendment, you must not criticize her beliefs while she is criticizing the beliefs of others. That’s right in the words of the First Amendment, which she knows as well as the words in the Bible!

  • Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden

    In a country where Gilette and Norelco flourish, a country where new fibers are invented every year, a country where women have tampax instead of red tents, and a country where Red Lobsters significantly outnumber temples at which to slaughter your sheep and goats, it is two guys kissing in rented tuxes that’s going to really do the US in?

    Gosh, why does that sound like it’s more about her squicks and not any particular god’s laws?

    Like a straight boy with a clitoris, I just can’t put my finger on it.

  • Al Dente

    dingojack @4

    on one hand he’s a vengeful god, on the other there’s his promise to Noah, and on the third gripping hand

    Don’t you even know SF memes?

  • grumpyoldfart

    Now that she’s been on television she’s got a taste for it. She will support or protest any cause where she thinks there is a chance she will get at least one minute of air-time on the six-o-clock news. She’ll stay like this until old age slows her down.