Beck: It’s the ‘Time of My Calling’

Glenn Beck routinely careens from tear-stained laments of overwhelming sadness about the state of the world to fervent hope and belief that everything is going to be fine to self-aggrandizing declarations that he is truly on a mission from God. This bizarre statement seems to be of the third type:

“I would beg for your prayers,” he said. “I’m entering now the time of my calling, what I have to do as a man. I don’t know what to do, I just know it’s coming and I beg you for your prayers. I beg you for your prayers because I will pray for you and you please pray for me, because this is the time. This comes every 70 years, there is a time when giants are made. And I don’t know if they’ll ever remember any of our names. What I know is at some point, I am going to be standing in front of God himself and I demand of myself that he says ‘job well done.'”

I don’t think this guy can order lunch at Arby’s without being absurdly melodramatic. It’s like really bad community theater.

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  • John Pieret

    Beck has started writing Vogon poetry?

  • cervantes

    hmm. 70 years ago was 1945. Let’s see. Hitler killed himself. Truman dropped the A-bomb. Ho Chi Minh establishes the Democratic Republic of Vietnam. Arthur C. Clark proposes the geosynchronous communication satellite. I guess it will be something like one of those.

  • eric

    70 years…does his weeping bring on Haley’s comet or something?

  • Raging Bee

    You mean God is about to call Beck home? It’s not happening too soon for me!

  • UnknownEric the Apostate

    It’s the time of the sea-ea-son for cry-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiing…

    /drums come in

  • Eric Johnson

    Oh please please please let it be an announcement that he’s running for president.

  • anubisprime

    Shorter version…..”Send Cash” !

  • Marcus Ranum

    Maybe he’s going to join Ted Nugent in the “dead or in prison” club. ..

  • DonDueed

    Unknown Eric:

    *clap* Ahhh

  • otrame

    Poor old Glenn has been offering himself up as the Conservative-Religious-Serious-Frigging-Nuts leader for several years now, at least since his big rally in DC. For some reason people aren’t offering him the job. That’s why he gets so depressed and doom-laden. Then he looks around at just how insane is constituency really is and thinks “I can do this!!!” and we go through the cycle again.

  • fifthdentist

    @ 10

    “I’m dumb enough and crazy enough, and, doggone it, people who are even dumber and crazier like me.”

  • chris69

    Of course it’s the “time of his calling” some village out there just realized that their idiot is missing and are trying to contact him.

  • carpenterman

    “It’s like really bad community theater.”

    Hey… I’ve been doing community theater for 35 years, and I’ve *never* seen anything this bad.

  • sezme

    Beck: And I refuse to be silent.

    No shirt shitlock. We noticed.

  • anubisprime

    That rot-gut he tipples has finally trickled through to the rudimentary martyr bone and has pooled around the self grandeur switch thus short circuiting the coherency matrix…which to be fair has never worked properly since he fell out the pram….at least that would account for the fault, or maybe its drugs…who can really tell?

    Still one thing is for sure…the dude is a class A prig with illusions far beyond the capability for him, and therefore his audience, to process properly.

  • robertfoster

    MacBeth, Act 2, Scene 4

    Old Man: “Threescore and ten I can remember well:

    Within the volume of which time I have seen

    Hours dreadful and things strange; but this sore night

    Hath trifled former knowings.”

    Does Beck see himself as a modern day MacBeth? I rather hope so. You do recall what happened to MacBeth. Right?

  • cycleninja

    @RagingBee #4:

    You mean God is about to call Beck home? It’s not happening too soon for me!

    I have my wish list of people to join him, how ’bout you?

  • carpenterman

    @ robertfoster #16:

    Yeah, but remember, before MacBeth met his end, he murdered a whole bunch of people first. Maybe not the character we want Beck to emulate. (Although one line sums him up perfectly: “Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.”)

  • dingojack

    I’d prefer the description of Mr Bek from Troilus and Cressida [Act 5, scene 1]:

    “… idol of idiot worshippers…”


  • Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden

    @ robertfoster

    You do recall what happened to MacBeth. Right?

    He got a puppy that wasn’t potty trained and then the puppy really pissed off Lady MacBeth? When her efforts to shoo the dog outside didn’t work, Mr MacBeth asked MacDuff to lay the puppy on – presumably on some newspapers, though I don’t think he quite specifies. Then, quite naturally when your puppy isn’t potty trained, there was a lot of toil and trouble. MacGuffin was supposed to take care of everything (presumably he’s a dog trainer), but he never seemed to be around. That probably doubled the toil and trouble.

    That’s how I remember it anyway.