Joyner Apologizes to Putin, Muslim Fascists for America Becoming Gay

You’d think that after years of chronicling the bizarre pronouncements of the Christian right, I could’t be shocked anymore. But Rick Joyner managed to leave my jaw agape by agreeing with Vladimir Putin and the Muslim terrorists and actually apologizing to them for America becoming so gay.

“One of the things [the Russians] really hate is what they think we have become, a gay nation,” he said. “It’s the main reason why Islam, by the way, calls us the ‘Great Satan.’ They think we’re, we say we trust God, we put that on our money, but we export the worst kinds of perversion all over the world.”

“And of course they have their own perversion, they have — but they see us as the source of the worst spiritual and moral pollution in the world. And, you know, we can’t disagree with that. That shouldn’t be happening here.”

“You know, when I spoke to a meeting of many of the top mullahs and imams at the World Public Forum, I apologized for that,” he continued. “And I will apologize. I am really sorry for the moral filth and pollution that is coming out of America, and this is happening on our watch too. You know, there are a lot of reasons why the nations hate us, but mainly they see hypocrisy on a level unprecedented. We say one thing and do the other.”

But remember, he’ll also gladly claim that it’s liberals and gay people who are in league with the Muslim terrorists to destroy America. But he shows, yet again, that it’s the Christian right that agrees with them on almost every social issue.

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  • John Pieret

    Fascists of a feather flock together!

  • Synfandel

    …but we export the worst kinds of perversion all over the world.

    Oh, so true. “We”, of course, means Christian Fundamentalists.

  • D. C. Sessions

    But he shows, yet again, that it’s the Christian right that agrees with them on almost every social issue.

    Not just social issues — they also agree on the proper role of Government: killing. Internationally, after all, they agree that the budget should be 100% military.

  • kantalope

    Wasn’t Obama criticized for apologizing to foreigners? And since when was the buttsex rated as worse than mass beheadings?

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    I’m in the export business. Perversion, mostly. I remember when the Edmund Fitzhomo sank. Perversion washed up on nearby beaches for weeks afterwards. Waterlogged boxes of it have been found as far away as India and Australia. They say they don’t want it in their country, but they never send it back.

  • grumpyoldfart

    I think they “jumped the shark” when they said Jesus walked on water so none of this new stuff surprises me in the least.

  • Pierce R. Butler

    Damnit, I missed another memo: when did Putin say America has gone gay?

    Did he describe us as “marvelous”, or worse, “fabulous”?

  • http://www.facebook.com/eo.raptor.3 eoraptor

    I swear, Modus, you really should be declared a national monument. The Edmund Fitzhomo?

  • http://twitter.com/#!/TabbyLavalamp Tabby Lavalamp

    Hey! He’s right about hypocrisy! He’s just wrong about where that hypocrisy lies.

  • k_machine

    Wasn’t Obama criticized for apologizing to foreigners? And since when was the buttsex rated as worse than mass beheadings?

    If this was a liberal saying this the right would be screaming about appeasement, blaming America first and so on

  • http://drx.typepad.com Dr X

    Just a reminder that America’s religious right has much in common with genocidal Islamist loons and KGB thugs.

  • caseloweraz

    Joyner Apologizes to Putin…

    Not since GOP Rep. Joe Barton apologized to BP has there been such a deluded and egregious apology.

  • busterggi

    “we export the worst kinds of perversion all over the world.”

    When is Josh Duggar leaving?

  • sigurd jorsalfar

    Hah! I told you this is how the right sees legalized gay marriage — It means America itself is gay! I wasn’t kidding, but you people just laughed at me.

  • carpenterman

    You know, maybe we should offer the Russians a deal. We’ll exchange our Christian fundies for their gays, on a one-for-one basis. Vladimir, what do you say? “Send me your poor, your tired, your Cossack Fabulous!”

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    sigurd jorsalfar “I wasn’t kidding, but you people just laughed at me.”

    To be fair, that was mostly because of your culottes.

  • Nick Gotts

    but we export the worst kinds of perversion all over the world.

    That can’t be right. In today’s competitive global marketplace, if the USA is exporting perversion all over the world, it must be the best kind of perversion.

  • StevoR

    @ ^ Nick Gotts : Perversions are like German sausages the best are the Wurst!

  • StevoR

    “One of the things [the Russians] really hate is what they think we have become, a gay nation,” he (Joyner) said.

    Yeah right, nothing to do with Russia losing the Cold War, the race to land men on the Moon and the USA taking more than their fair share of the credit and minimising Russia’s role in winning WWII then eh? Much.

    “It’s the main reason why Islam, by the way, calls us the ‘Great Satan.’

    I thought it was because they literally thought the US of A was led by the Islamist equivalent of the Anti-Christ, also a lot of history and politics and because Israel was the ‘Lesser Satan’, no?