Oh Boy, Jade Helm Paranoia Reaches Michigan

As the right wing paranoiacs flip out over the Jade Helm 15 military training exercises scheduled for several Southern states, wingnuts here in Michigan are doing the same over a training exercise in Flint, where they used a decommissioned school for training in urban combat situations.

Local TV station WNEM reported that at about 2 p.m. local time Tuesday afternoon residents were shaken by a series of explosions coming from the building, which formerly housed a junior high school.

The city of Flint had issued a notice informing the public of the training just hours before, at about 11:30 a.m. local time, according to the news station. Flint Police Chief James Tolbert told WNEM that the public was given such short notice because the military had unexpectedly moved up the timetable for the exercise.

“I can’t speak for the Army on that, but we try to give people a heads up when we can,” a spokesman for the city, Jason Lorenz, told WNEM. “We can’t go into too much detail, we don’t want people just coming to these things and sightseeing.”

A hysterical man rushed right down there with a video camera to breathlessly demand answers from a military spokesman on the scene, spouting inane conspiracy theories. I especially love the idea that the army is going to take over Flint, which is a total shithole that no one would ever want to take over. Listen to this guy just lose his shit over it.

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  • zenlike

    I love how the US army guy just kept calm in the face of this gibbering idiot.

  • Nick Gotts

    Yes, the guy’s a conspiracy flake, but I sympathise with the underlying point that the army should not be conducting military exercises near residential areas without giving adequate notice and explanation.

  • sigurd jorsalfar

    I’ve been to Flint. If anything it’s been abandoned by the US gov, not taken over.

    Why can’t the army train in Iraq like it did under Bush? Thanks Obama.

  • http://polrant@blogspot.com democommie

    I really liked Jade Helm when she was singing b/u for Sade and Beyonce; her solo albums have been a dissapointment!

    Okay, really, that was kinda fucked up and juvenile of me; about a a 1.5-2.0 on a scale of several brazillions for “Whackjob FruitcaKKKe PATRIOTISM Paranoic Insanity”, but, still…

  • StevoR

    I knew a girl called Jade once. Was in my H.S. drama class and really quite impressive as an actor and a person. No Helm though she probably wore a helmet at times when apropriate.

    Hasn’t this whole Jade Helm nonsense gone the way of the big ebola scare yet?

    Oh well, it will. Like so many, many many right-winger beats ups before it..

    How many such wolf cries will it take before idiots stop listening to the Sednan right-wingers I wonder?

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Obama’s such a tease. When is he gonna invade my town and take away my guns?

  • carpenterman

    Nick Gotts @2,

    Yeah, I agree. If I heard a bunch of explosions coming from a near by school building and found out it was an army training exercise which had only been announced earlier that day, I’d be pissed off too.

  • StevoR

    @ ^ carpenterman & Nick Gotts : Except they did give plenty of notice hence the right-winger pants-messin’ paranoia about it all.

  • John Pieret

    What I want to know is. if the Army wanted to suppress the media reporting of it’s takeover o Flint (snigger), why isn’t this asshole already dead?

  • carpenterman

    StevoR @8: The city issued a notice at 11:30 and the exercise started at 2:00. If that’s all the notice they gave, I don’t think that qualifies as “plenty”. Don’t get me wrong… that guy’s reaction was absurd. But… still. Not cool on the Army’s part.

    John Pieret @9: As for why this guy’s not dead, well, HOW DO YOU KNOW HE’S NOT?! That video could have been posted by a CLEVER IMPOSTOR!!

  • felidae

    Amazing what a profound effect the election of a President with too much melanin in his skin can have on the minds of a segment of our population

  • shay

    I’m not blaming the Army for not putting out a lot of advance notice. We did an active shooter drill on the local university campus in March — cop cars, guys in full swat gear, ambulances, flashing lights, you name it…and effing idiots walking right into the middle of things to see what was going on.

  • sabrekgb

    To be fair to my bullet-sponge brethren, this stuff does happen a lot. Most of the people involved in setting up a training event like this are more concerned with getting actual permission from the relevant authorities, complying with the law and regs they operate under, and just trying not to let it be a cluster-fuck in general. Sure, someone has the responsibility to tell people…but it’s usually not the army. It’s the local authorities. The army should help, and it sounds like they were trying, but PA isn’t exactly the most squared-away bunch.

    Agreed, more lead-time for notice for an event like this should happen, but still.

    There is a great quote that applies to government very well. Hanlon’s razor: “Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.”

  • carpenterman

    @12 & 13:

    Good points. I really like the Hanlon’s Razor quote. And Dog knows, there’s lots of stupidity out there. As well as just good old-fashioned human fuck-upery.

  • David C Brayton

    Man, if you want to simulate a burned-out shithole for close quarter urban warfare training, Flint is the place.

    All kidding aside, I visited Kettering University, my alma mater, last fall. Kettering has done and continues to do, a tremendous amount to revitalize its neighborhood.

  • davek23

    JET FUEL CAN’T MELT JADE HELMS!!!!!111