Whaddaya Know, I’m a ‘Pawn’ of Satan

Matt Barber has declared that all “secular progressives” are “pawns” of Satan, quoting the familiar “we struggle not against flesh and blood” verse that they trot out every time they disagree with someone. They “struggle” with us, therefore we must be of the devil.

“We also need to be praying for those who are persecutors, for Islamists, for secular progressives because, as Ephesians 6:12 says, ‘Our struggle is not against flesh and blood but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realm,'” Barber said. “These people don’t even realize that they’re being used as pawns in the spiritual war.”

“Even though they can deny God,” he continued, “Satan loves that they can deny the existence of God, or they’ll even deny his existence. They don’t realize that they’re vulnerable to being used … They don’t even realize that healing is available, that salvation is available, that eternal life is available through Christ and through Christ alone because they are blinded and their hearts are hardened.”

I find this highly offensive. I am not a pawn of Satan. I’m at least a rook or a bishop.

[soundcloud url=”https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/211931554″ params=”color=ff0000″ width=”100%” height=”166″ iframe=”true” /]

POPULAR AT PATHEOS Nonreligious
What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    At least you’re not a porn of the old S-man!!

  • blf

    Being a Prawn, Lobster, or Cephalopod of Satan is perhaps more fun, especially if you can grab, bite, and/or squirt ink all over the Sinners of Satan.

    (Actually, Cephalopod of Satan is probably a band somewhere.)

  • blf

    The position P0rn of Satan has been occupied for over a millennium by the raping children cult, chief proprietor the cRook of Rome.

  • wreck

    How medieval. How ignorant. How sad.

  • John Pieret

    I’m holding out to be the queen of Satan … at least I’ll look fabulous!

  • dingojack

    John Pieret – too late! It’s filled.

    :) Dingo

  • Matt G

    Cool! I am too!

  • ed440

    I’m not a minion of evil.

    I’m upper management!

  • Steve Morrison

    If Ed is a pawn, let’s move him to the eighth rank.

  • Thorne

    I know a woman who, in our discussions about the abuses of religions, refers to me as Satan’s stepson!

  • Synfandel

    Dingo, your picture made my day. Priscilla is the second funniest movie ever made.

  • Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden

    @ed440:

    I’m not a minion of evil.

    I’m upper management!

    I’m not a minion of evil, I’m middle management.

    Or, …wait.

  • busterggi

    A pawn of Satan? I thought Satan played D&D.

  • Al Dente

    I’m not a pawn or a minion. I’m a loyal lackey! I was promoted from flunkey just last January.

  • abb3w

    Rook.

    Based on how many gay passes you’ve reportedly turned down, you’re obviously too straight for any other piece.

  • grumpyoldfart

    It’s OK. There’s probably no more than fifty million Americans dumb enough to believe that codswallop.

  • Kimpatsu

    I’m starting a new organization: the Knights of Satan! Checkmate, theists!

  • https://plus.google.com/107095827599382907783 NS Alito

    I’m the Benson-dear-benson of Satan!

  • lordshipmayhem

    Great, we’re the pawn stars of Satan.

    SMH

  • starskeptic

    I like to think of Ed as more a Bishop of Satan.

  • dingojack

    Or a Knight In Satan’s Service!!

    >:) Dingo

  • sigurd jorsalfar

    I don’t really mind being a pawn of satan. It’s easy work and I get to set my own hours. No one complains if I don’t show up for work for weeks or months at a time.

  • thebookofdave

    If Barber is having such a difficult time dealing with all of these pawns, he should get serious and stop bringing checkers to the chess match.

    [/King Me!]

  • dingojack

    sigurd jorsalfar – I’m sorry, you actually work here?!?*

    :) Dingo

    ———–

    * I had a co-worker say this to me — after working there for over 2 years!

    It turned out I was in the background but indispensable – he was neither and got fired.

  • bahrfeldt

    Satan’s pawn or Satan Spawn? If the former you’re “Bobby” Jindal. the latter, “Ted” Cruz.

  • Owlmirror

    ✝✞✟