WND Uses Its Secret Decoder Ring on Obama Again

Of all the asinine things that the Worldnetdaily publishes on a daily basis, their continual pushing of the idiocy of Andrew Hodges, who thinks he can read between the lines and discern what Obama is really saying, has to take the cake. Hodges, of course, just “discerns” that Obama means the opposite of whatever he says.

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In learning how to decode Obama’s unconscious super-intelligence mind, we find another blatant example of denial. During an interview with Fox News that aired April 10, 2016, Barack Obama commented on the possible security threat posed by Hillary Clinton’s emails and on the possibility he could influence the ongoing investigation.

He declared, in a classic string of denials, “I guarantee that there is no political influence in any investigation conducted by the Justice Department or the FBI – not just in this case, but in any case.” Obama continued, “Nobody is above the law. How many times do I have to say it?”

We need to read the truth according to the super-intel decoding principle of “Thou protests too much.”

Excessive denial accompanied by absolute statements such as “I guarantee” and “how many times do I have to say it” often imply deceit. Obama speaks as the absolute final authority on the matter.

Read through the denials to see his confession: “I guarantee that there is … political influence in any investigation conducted by [my] Justice Department – [especially] in this case, [and] in any case. … I am above the law. How many times do I have to say it?” The facts show Obama has said it many times, speaking often through his actions. The facts show Obama’s DOJ has been significantly politicized – either by direct investigations or refusals to investigate. In fact, Obama has blatantly taken the law into his own hands on numerous occasions.

Ah, but I have my own secret decoder ring, Mr. Hodges, and it applies that “super-intel decoding principle” (a thing that does not exist except in your imagination) too. And when I apply it to this article, it discerns that what you really mean is “Holy shit, I’m a fucking moron, but these people who are buying this bullshit are even dumber than I am!” I win.

About Ed Brayton

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. He has appeared on the Rachel Maddow Show and the Thom Hartmann Show, and is almost certain that he is the only person ever to make fun of Chuck Norris on C-SPAN.