Alex Jones’ Custody Trial is Quite Ridiculous

Reading reports of the ongoing custody trial involving right-wing conspiracy nut Alex Jones and his ex-wife is highly entertaining. It started with his lawyer declaring him to be a performance artist, then Jones saying that’s not true. And it just goes downhill from there:


As fun as that was, the real fun kicked off when Jones finally got to court. As reported by Death And Taxes, journalists on the scene said that Bobby Newman, the attorney working for Jones’ ex-wife, pointed out that Jones couldn’t remember “basic facts” about his children in a recorded deposition because—and this is in the running for quote of the year—he “had a big bowl of chili for lunch.” That may seem like a ridiculous thing to say, but lawyers actually spend years learning what’s called “The Chili Defense” in school, and it’s typically used when a giant creep who drools over the murder of innocent children needs a way to explain why he couldn’t give less of a shit about his own kids. It’s unclear if it’s supposed to be the “Alex Jones” character who loves chili more than his family, but it’s a fun trait either way.

Unfortunately for Jones (the person), the hits just kept coming today in court. According to The Daily Beast and Death And Taxes, Newman tried to indicate that Jones is too unstable to take care of his kids by showing a series of clips from InfoWars videos in which Jones ripped off his shirt and went on slurred rants about “male vitality” and how “1776 will commence again.” Jones’ attorneys said that the videos were part of his “political satire” and were therefore “unrelated to parenting,” but Newman claimed that Jones also took his clothes off during family therapy sessions. (Again, we don’t know if he was the “Alex Jones” character in that therapy session, but it would seem like a poor choice either way.)

On top of that, a court-appointed therapist said under oath that Jones had been formally diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. How shocking. Who would have guessed?

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