Joyner: Trump and Cabinet are Just Like Jesus and the Apostles

Rick Joyner renews his bid to be named the biggest Trump sycophant among the Christian con artist set — he’s locked in a battle with Jim Bakker and Lance Wallnau for the coveted title — by declaring that the chaos in the White House is just like Jesus and the 12 Apostles.

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“I’m expecting some chaos in the White House team for the duration of Trump’s administration,” Joyner said, “and I am saying this is because he is such an extraordinary leader. It’s not a lack of leadership; it’s a different kind of leadership.”

“Jesus is the best leader there will ever be,” Joyner said, but even his “cabinet” of apostles was rife with infighting. “Why were they fighting? Because they are stallions! These are serious leaders. They’re the real thing and they’re going to jostle and they’re going to fight, they’re going to position themselves. Trump has chosen those type of people for this cabinet.”

“You better believe there is going to be infighting,” he added. “It especially happens among strong leaders, so I take all of that as encouragement.”

So. Much. Like. Jesus. Soon Trump will be delivering the Sermon on the Gold-plated Throne, where he will tell his followers that the poor shall inherit spots at the fake Trump University, where they will learn from his own hand-picked instructors that he’s never met or spoken to or heard of. And blessed are the Tweeters, for they shall be blessed with many followers as long as they routinely contradict themselves and retweet lies from white supremacists.

And of course, happy are they who grab women by the pussy against their will, for they are celebrities and can get away with committing sexual assault. So sayeth the Lord to Billy the Burning Bush. And he’ll interrupt his sermon to tell the story of how he came on to Mary Magdalene “like a bitch” but was rebuffed after she got breast implants.

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