Bakker Declares Victory in Mythical War on Christmas

Jim Bakker has always been…let’s just say reality-challenged. No, let’s not just say that. He’s a liar and a con artist. His latest lie is that a few years ago “they” outlawed saying “Merry Christmas,” but he and his brave warriors for the Lord went out and won the battle anyway.


Bakker said that he has been searching for Christmas ornaments that feature Jesus instead of Santa because Christmas “is the birthday of Jesus Christ” and complained that he wants to be able to buy a Christmas tree instead of a “holiday tree.”

“They outlawed ‘Merry Christmas’ a few years ago and you know it,” he said. “You couldn’t even say ‘Merry Christmas” at Walmart and the Walmart greeters told me they weren’t allowed to say it. But we all started writing and what did we do? We changed it. We changed it. We all worked together. You don’t have to lay down for it.”

Yeah, you can go to war and win! Especially when there’s no one fighting on the other side. Wars are so much easier to win when they don’t actually exist, just like Christian persecution is so much easier to endure when it never actually happens.

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